Florida-South Florida

Bridal Shower attendees paying?

Is it common here for the hostess to ask bridal shower attendees to contribute money to the shower, for example asking for $20 to attend? I have not been to one recently but heard someone else talk about this. I would feel rude or tacky asking people to pay, given that they are already expected to bring a gift. I was thinking of suggesting this to my MOH since her financial situation has unexpectedly become tight, but I don't know if I'd want to do that. Thoughts?

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Re: Bridal Shower attendees paying?

  • edited December 2011
    For my sister in law (brothers wife) we charged $20 dollars for my MOH bridal shower she didnt want to charge so much so we only charged $10..it all depends Ive seen them as high as $25 and some dont charge anything at all...most people will know all the expensis for the wedding plus all the expensis for the shower itself ..even with charging you will spend money on favors and centerpeices and any added fees...so personally i dont mind but i know some ppl wont go if they charge... GL!
  • edited December 2011
    I would personally downsize the party but not charge. I think it's rude to ask for money to come shower you with a gift but maybe it's just me.
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  • edited December 2011
    Proper etiquette is that the host(s) of the shower pay(s) for everything since guests are already bringing a gift.  It's similar to if you invite people over for dinner and ask for them to pay for their meal.

    My bridal shower was on Saturday.  The hosts paid for the meal, favors, games, etc.
  • FutureMrsFezzFutureMrsFezz member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it's rude to ask people to come to a shower and pay.  Down-size or don't have a shower.  It is okay to not have a shower.  But if I were invited to a shower that I had to pay to attend, I would probably not attend.
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm not from here, but I can tell you that in my world, no, you don't charge people to attend (in fact, I would make up any excuse to not go to a shower if there was a charge!) But, you don't have to have a huge meal or anything so it won't get too expensive. You may want to consider having it at a non-meal time and just having little desserts or appetizers, that way it won't be so expensive for the host.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the feedback! I don't like the idea of asking people to pay but wanted to see other's experiences with this.
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  • MariMac84MariMac84 member
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    edited December 2011
    I went to a baby shower that did that, and thought it was kinda weird. lol But, I don't think i've been to a bridal shower that did that.
  • anaroo87anaroo87 member
    edited December 2011
    I think I would be confused if I was asked to contribute lol, and then I would end up buying a gift that took into consideration the fact that I already spent $20 to come (i.e if I would have bought something for $100 originally, I would now only spend $80). Besides the fact that depending on what group of people you are inviting, to some it might be the norm I guess but to other it might be considered rude and offensive.
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  • bridetobe417bridetobe417 member
    edited December 2011
    Personally, I've never heard of that. I think I'd be surprised if I was asked to pay to attend. Whether the shower has been at someone's home or at a restaurant, it has been paid for by the bride's mother, aunts, family friends, etc.
  • edited December 2011
    I too wouldn't ask my guests to pay... I was already told that I will not be worrying about my bridal showe (thank goodness)... and just told them to host a brunch at my aunt's house so that no one has to pay... and my family can decorate! I would be annoyed if I were a guest.
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  • alymia23alymia23 member
    edited December 2011
    I think it depends on the financial situation... If you have someone willing to pay, then it would be nice not to charge. My MOH/ bridesmaids can't afford to pay for everyone and my M and FMIL are already paying for the wedding so I feel bad asking them to pay for it, so we will probably charge for my own shower. Every bridal shower (at restaurants) that I have been to I have paid (between $15-20). It is usually just to pay for the meal and not the favors/centerpieces/etc. Its been as if a bunch of girls get together for lunch and celebrate their friends upcoming wedding =) HTH

  • edited December 2011
    I had to pay for a shower once. It was co-ed, so FI paid $70 bucks PLUS a gift to attend. We're STILL kind of annoyed about it, lol. I was told it's a Cuban custom, although I know a lot of Cubans who have never heard of that before.

    I agree, downsize the shower or make it more economical. I went to one once that was in a neighborhood clubhouse and each bridesmaid made a dish, as opposed to having it catered. They had coordinated so all the food made sense together, and it was actually really nice. They had centerpieces, favors, and prizes, but all in all, I would imagine that it was really cost effective.
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