Newly engaged...& the DRAMA begins!

eaelrod

Hi all! I'm new...posted in *last* weeks Newbie Monday...

I'm Lia and my fiance's name is Jordan. We got engaged this past July in Greece - and I'm SO excited. We're planning on getting married in the spring of 2014 - so PLENTY of time to plan...but I already know this is going to be a wild (and bumpy) ride.

I've already hit a huge bump: where we're going to get married. It is very important to us and to our families that we get married in a church, as we're both strong in our faith. Problem is our families don't go to the same church. Now the easy part is his church is not really an option, as there has been bad blood and drama...however, he and his family are not exactly "thrilled" to do it at my church. It's much smaller (though I am sure it can accomodate 250 people relatively comfortably) but it's been my church for literally my entire life. FI has moved around a bit and has only been at his church for less than half his life...and as I said, there's been drama and bad blood.

It means a lot to me, sentimentally, to be married in my church, and I know my parents would be crushed...but my FMIL pretty much hates the thought...and FI isn't thrilled about it either.

Our reception will be in another church's hall (same faith, just different city) so FI thinks it makes sense to just get married in THAT church and then do the reception in THAT hall...to keep everything in one place. It does make sense, but it's not where I've seen myself getting married. It's much larger than my home church, just feels foreign...ugh, I don't know. I'm so torn.

I would love to get married in my church (as his is ruled out) and neither of us, or our families have a close tie or association with the other church where the reception will be. I can't make everyone happy and I just reallly don't want this to be an all out war. What do I dooooooo??

x - Lia

Mademoiselle D

Why doesn't your FMIL like your church? If it's because of aesthetics then it shouldn't be a reason for your ceremony not to be celebrated there. In all honesty, it's your day and your FI's so if your FI doesn't have an issue with having the ceremony there then why not have it at your church. I am sure your FI will understand the sentimental ties you have with your church and will set aside logistics for what means more to you.

KatieBee23

would your pastor be able to marry you in the "other" church?  For me it was more about my pastor who I am close with performing the ceremony.  I love my home church but we are actually gettign married outside.  Maybe if you spend some time in the other church with an open mind and go for the "feeling" you may end up enjoying it.  You could also look at the new church as a place where neither of you have ties and you can begin YOUR life together in a new place that is not home to either of you but rather a new beginning.

However, if you have always dreamed of getting married in your church than by all means do it!!! it's your day!!! good luck, congrats on your engagement and welcome to the board!!!

eaelrod

Regardless, my priest, his godfather who is also a priest, and the priest from the receptionchurch will perform the ceremony wherever it is. My FMIL doesn't like it because she thinks it's too small in a more ghetto, for lack of a better term, area. FI just thinks it's small, won't fit people, or will but there will be so much body heat, it will be hot. But I just feel that it's sentimental means something to me, so everyone can deal with being a little warm or whatever for an hour. They'll be sweating up a storm at the reception anyway. Thanks for chiming in, girls...so appreciate it! I'm excited to finally be a part of this little knottie fam!

Mademoiselle D

I went to a wedding last year and guest invite list was about 300+. The couple held their ceremony at the groom's church and it certainly does not fit no where near that amount and the wedding was on a Saturday. Not everyone will attend to the church ceremony for one reason or another so that's something to keep in mind. Make yourselves happy and if your FI doesn't have a big issue which he doesn't then have your wedding at your church

Keep us posted! Congrats and welcome to the board!

eaelrod

Thank you! Yeah, I'm going to discuss it more with FI tonight...our last convo about it resulted in tears from me, so he KNOWS how much this stresses me...hopefully he will agree to it we can move on to the next big bump: the guest list for a big, fat, Greek wedding. Gah!