bm dress situtation

jnj111410

have any of you ladies encountered this situtation.... that the BM assumed that you were paying for their BM dress?? please please advice on how to handle this situtation!!!

TheJennius

Yyyyyno.

I told my MOH "we" were going to get her derss in November (early stages of BM consideration), and she thought I was paying for it. Then she figured all on her own she wanted to pay for it ... or something lol. The thing is! I got lucky.

In your situation ... goodness, I am not sure, maybe have a small talk with her? Last thing you need is awkwardness, you know? Good luck!

odiloveslegos

I sent my all my bridesmaids an article on what bridesmaids traditionally do so they'd be familiar (I'm 23 so mostly everyone is a newbie BM) and then included what I would be covering and what they would have to cover.  If you send it out ot everyone then they know what to expect and you're not targeting anyone.

Hope that helps!

jnj111410

all my girls except her payed for their dresses already, she was in a wedding before and so she thought that was normal... and i guess she doesnt have the money just had a baby in nov and has another on the way... so i am lost on what to do....

Dee729

oh my bridesmaids knew they had to pay for their dresses...we got them at David's Bridal....two of mine did lay-a-way...and made payments...that might do the trick.

Shuutnstar

No. Everything I have ever read says that the BMs are responsible for their own attire. Now, you are responsible for being considerate of their finances... not picking a $200 BM dress, etc. I have ALWAYS paid for my dresses and I would never consider asking a bride to pay for my dress.

That being said, if she can't afford the dress, you have the option of paying for (some or all of) it or she has the option of stepping down with no hard feelings.

Just be honest with her... say you are sorry there was a misunderstanding... but unfortunately, with all of the other wedding related costs that you can't afford to pay for her dress and expenses. And ask her if maybe a cheaper dress might be an option or if she needs to think about it, give her a date that you need to know by.

I'm sorry you are in this situation, it really sucks when you have BM drama!

I hope it works out for you, sweetie!

lyndopo

When I asked my girls to be BM's I had mentioned to them that I know being part of the bridal party can get expensive with the dress, shoes, hair etc... and that I promised them I would keep my rec for the dresses under $200. So they know they're responsible for it. However, I did buy the dress for one of my bm's... I got it ridiculousy cheap... $25 from $275--- Alfred Angelo Closeout BOOO YEAH!! So she knows she just needs to pay for alterations.

bears4life

That's a tough situation. Are you able to give her some assistance seeing that she is in such a tough situation? If so, maybe tell her that you really want her in the party but you can only afford to help her out "this much". The pp's made some good pts. Sorry you're going through this. I hope it works out hun. GL!

Lacey36

I agree with pp's. I would just sit down with her and tell her what is expected and let her know before there gets to be issues. I didnt have a problem with this, but I did have a BM step down b/c of issues we were having as well as finances which was totally fine. I also had my sister think I was paying for my FG dress but when I told her I wasnt she was like oh well IDK, but then I decided I would buy her FG dress so there wasnt an issue because i knew she was on an extremely tight budget. HTH

adrielegorburu

I was lucky and my BMs all have been in weddings before that they had to buy their own dress.  I also made sure to chose a dress that would fit all their budgets, more or less $100.  We ended up chosing a Davids Bridal one so that everyone could afford/find it.  There was one that I know was not in a good financial situation (lost job, infant son, etc.) and I offered to purchase hers for her as a gift when I asked her to be my BM so she wouldnt have to worry about it.  I also didnt specify what shoes, jewlery etc they would wear so they could use shoes they already had and not spend more.  Ultimately she (or her A&^hole BF) decided she couldnt afford it and didnt want me to pay and she dropped out.  30 days before the wedding with BM gifts already engraved and personalized.  I had to ask another girl and get new things made in a rush.  The whole thing had me very upset for a long time.  I hope you figure it out with her.  I think the best thing would be a nice long candid talk and brainstorming session with her!  Good Luck