Not one, but two unconventional engagement rings.

pesematology

My partner proposed to me on Monday in a quiet moment at home together, and since he knows by now that buying something for me without my input is a bad idea, he didn't have a ring for me yet.

So after I said I would love to marry him and then cried a little bit, we discussed rings and ended up planning to use an inexpensive "placeholder" ring for a while, and then get a "real" ring.

First unconventional ring:
At an independent new-age book/incense/jewelry shop near our home, he bought me a lovely silver ring with a pale aquamarine stone that could be mistaken at first glance for a diamond. In addition to being pretty, it serves the purpose of preventing the awkwardness of telling people I'm engaged and their eyes immediately darting to an empty wedding finger.

Second unconventional ring:
A few years ago, my grandmother gave me and my cousin each a diamond from what once was a pair my great-grandmother's earrings. Unfortunately, she got rid of the original setting and gave it to me in a bulky, uninteresting setting that doesn't do the diamond justice and makes me afraid I'll lose it. As his engagement gift to me, instead of buying a new ring, he's going to have my antique diamond re-set in the setting of my choice, with any side stones I like. I'll finally be able to enjoy my grandmother's diamond.

I've already cleared the plan for the diamond with my family, so I'm not really worried about it making anyone important angry or anything, but I was curious what people on here think of it. I'm interested to know what kind of reactions I can expect from people who ask about my ring while I'm wearing the placeholder, as well as from people who find out the story of using a diamond that FI didn't buy.

dewingedpixie

Many people do your second option of repurposing a diamond. I reccomend finding a good local jeweler and doing this. There is something special in designing a ring together and you can get the ring of your dreams with herritage from your family . Are you considering colored stones for side stones? I love colored stones.

pesematology

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-one-but-two-unconventional-engagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:00c99829-003b-481e-80b7-3da57d90d67aPost:b859c94e-7c31-468a-8e7b-f2356dcd5200">Re: Not one, but two unconventional engagement rings.</a>:
[QUOTE]Many people do your second option of repurposing a diamond. I reccomend finding a good local jeweler and doing this. There is something special in designing a ring together and you can get the ring of your dreams with herritage from your family :). Are you considering colored stones for side stones? I love colored stones.
Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]

I like dramatic but also minimalist things. I do like some colored stones, especially very pale blue or deep smokey gray. I have a pinboard of different engagement rings I've seen that I liked, and I plan to have FI help me pick which among those would make a good blueprint for the ring we want.

I also plan to give an engagement gift to him when he gives me my "real" ring. A few weeks ago he half-jokingly said that if I ever wanted to propose to him, I should do it with a particular fancy Japanese chef's knife (he loves cooking). I seriously considered it, but he beat me to the punch. I would still like to buy it for him though.

achiduck

I think using a family stone is a lovely idea. Anyone who judges it sucks.

annmarie714

I love the idea of using her diamond.  You said it's in a very unique setting right now, do my bet is that it's not being worn at all--now you can wear it!! If you take your ring to a local jeweler with the diamond in hand, pick out a setting, and have it back in a week.  If you decide to go the custom design route, it will take several weeks.  If *you* want a stand in ring, get one.  If you feel like you HAVE to have one due to other people, explain your ring is being made at the jeweler and it will build anticipation for when you get it.

My sister used our grandmother's diamond in her ring, no one ever asked about it (if they ask "did he buy it?" WTF are they thinking?) and the people who know she "recycled" a diamond think it's very meaningful.  She did the exact thing you did with her ering and I made a right hand ring with my diamond from my grandmother, and either no one knows the origin or they think it's such a cool thing.

radleyboo

Heirloom rings are so special!  Anyone who has the audacity to question you, or worse criticize you about it is incredibly rude and insensitive.  I'd be honored to wear a ring or a stone from either of my grandmothers. 

As for the ring you're currently wearing, just tell the truth.  It's special to you because it's from your FI, and it's simply keeping your finger warm while your grandmother's ring is being re-designed to your liking.

Congratulations, be sure to post pictures of both!

pesematology

Thanks guys. I didn't know it was common to repurpose a stone from the bride's family. I'll post pics once it's designed and built.

soleildhiver

I had a "placeholder" too. It wasn't too awkward, I just explained that the goldsmith had made a mistake and I was eagerly awaiting my actual ring! People seem to understand.

MissRutig

You are using a diamond that has meaning to you, to be used in the most important piece of jewelry you will ever wear. If people judge they are silly.
There is nothing wrong with a "placeholder ring" it can always be transferred over to your right hand later. And like PP mentioned... getting the stone set can take some time... so its nice to have something on your finger while things are getting made

annmarie714

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-one-but-two-unconventional-engagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:00c99829-003b-481e-80b7-3da57d90d67aPost:a02c4ee0-b693-43aa-9ad0-f2b7606a783d">Re: Not one, but two unconventional engagement rings.</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks guys. I didn't know it was common to repurpose a stone from the bride's family. I'll post pics once it's designed and built.
Posted by pesematology[/QUOTE]

I see you're from Columbus.  Do you mind me asking where you're taking your ring?  If you're still searching, I recommend Diamond Cellar!  We are SO happy with our e-ring, WBs, and my custom designed RHR (the one I mentioned above).  Not to mention, my sister and her H also went to Diamond Cellar and are very happy.

pesematology

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-one-but-two-unconventional-engagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:00c99829-003b-481e-80b7-3da57d90d67aPost:98997294-943c-4755-8083-7ed76af9b80b">Re: Not one, but two unconventional engagement rings.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not one, but two unconventional engagement rings. : I see you're from Columbus.  Do you mind me asking where you're taking your ring?  If you're still searching, I recommend Diamond Cellar!  We are SO happy with our e-ring, WBs, and my custom designed RHR (the one I mentioned above).  Not to mention, my sister and her H also went to Diamond Cellar and are very happy.
Posted by annmarie714[/QUOTE]

There's a jeweler in Gahanna called None Other that has been around for ages, did some customization for my parents' rings and has repaired broken jewelry for me before. I think I'm going with them.

sonya+adam

Congratulations!

I love the idea of re-purposing the ring. It makes it that much more meaningful.