Recently engaged....and pregnant?!?

Gardini5

Congratulations!!! I can honestly tell you, I have dream after dream about being pregnant before my ridiculously expensive wedding. All I want to do is get married, but I want a baby also. We are waiting until a while after the wedding (hoping to), but honestly I wouldn't be mad if I got pregnant right after the wedding!! I would push it up, priorities change so drastically after the birth of your child. But, if you want a dream wedding, like I do...GO for it girl!!

CTGirl30

If you want to move up the wedding, I'm betting you could find vendors with open slots for a winter wedding - maybe mid-January (after the NYE rush and before the Valentine's Day rush of mid-Feb) would be a quieter time and more likely to find vendors with availabilty.  Winter weddings = less expensive, also.
You could probably find a lovely gown with an empire waist to accomodate a growing belly - wouldn't necessarily even have to be a wedding dress. But FYI, they do make maternity wedding gowns (Google it for some sites).

My friends got pregnant during their engagement and ended up postponing the wedding until the following summer - they did the courthouse thing pre-baby and then the formal wedding with everyone after the baby was born like they had originally planned.

It's really up to you, obvs - there are definate plusses and minuses to either scenario.

littlemoments324

Congrats!!

My friend was recently in a similar situation. She was engaged May 2008, pregnant Dec. 2008.  She was due Aug. 14th, 2009 (her wedding date in 2010)...and she had him on aug. 16th....pretty funny that she had him 2 days after the date she picked for the wedding...

but anyways...she still has a little less than a year to plan...she may have to push back the wedding because they cannot afford to have the things they want...so either she cuts back on what she wants or she pushes the wedding back until they can afford it...They have already put a deposit down on their venue and it is non-refundable...and it cannot be moved to another date, so they would have to start all over on a new deposit even at the same venue!!...sucks...

I agree with you not wanting to go to the JOP...you can push the wedding back a year and go from there!  GL!

chosen175

I have a 2.5 year old and I can tell you - it's DEFINITELY going to be easier to have the wedding before the baby.  While I don't regret having my dd one bit, I'm now trying to guess when her nap will be so I can schedule the ceremony at a time when she will be awake and not so crabby.  Then there's the question of who will take care of her during the ceremony & reception when we can't, who will take her home & stay overnight with her when 8:30 rolls around and she's ready for bed but we're still celebrating, etc.  Not to mention the logistics of trying to plan a honeymoon that everyone will enjoy, since I definitely will NOT be able to leave her for more than 1 night.  Again, I have no regrets and I love her more than anything but it definitely makes things more difficult.

There was a period of time right after we got engaged where I was "late" even though we're VERY careful.  I was sure I was pg again and we had decided that if I was, we were just going to invite our immediate family members to lunch at our favorite restaurant so the 2 families could get to know each other better.  In reality, we were going to have a wedding all set up and when they arrived, they'd be informed that it was our actual wedding day and we'd go ahead with the ceremony.  If anyone asked why, we'd tell them but we definitely planned on focusing on our MARRIAGE that day, not the "baby."  Thankfully, I was never pg to begin with, but I sort of liked the idea of a surprise wedding. 

Good luck to you and feel free to page me on the Chicago or Destination Weddings board if you have any questions.  Oh, and I've heard some not so nice things about some of the ladies on The Bump - I highly recommend babycenter.com as an alternate.  :-)

megk8oz

I'm in "Camp Move It Up".

I've never been pregnant, but I'm one of 5 kids, my sister and several of my friends already have babies, and I know that babies consume a lot of time and money. Yes, I'm not a mommy, so I can't speak from first-hand experience from the "planning with  a baby" perspective, but I see what goes on around me and I can tell you, planning once a baby arrives either goes completely out the window, or is way more stressful than necessary.

When we were first looking at venues, FI and I really didn't want to spend a lot of time planning, and we were advised that February and March are great months to throw weddings on just a few months notice. Usually nobody takes Fridays or Sunday, but even Saturdays tend to go un-booked that time of year depending on the location. And these are the same places where if you want a popular month like June or September, you need to book at least 2 years early. You could probably even swing a Sunday or Friday in April if you wanted a little more time.

I kept my wedding really simple, only 2 DIY projects (Invites and favors) and everything else I'm letting vendors handle. I was able to book my wedding that's in 2 weeks late last July, and honestly aside from the stuff that has to wait until the last minute (Like bringing favors and toasting flutes to the venue and having people pick up tuxes and stuff), we're ready to go. We actually probably could have pulled off the whole wedding 2 weeks ago if we had to. So a nice wedding can be put together on just a few months notice.

Talk to your vendors, see if your deposits can get applied to another date. If they can move everything up for you, I'd get started ASAP. As far as the STDs go, not having them is no big deal.

Best of Luck!

homediva

Wow! CONGRATULATIONS! It's funny - my girlfriends and I were just discussing this scenario over lunch today! If this happened to me, I think I would try to move everything up. Maybe some of your vendors will be understanding of the situation? Sometimes if they are able to book someone else they will give the money back. If you move everything up, you could do it on a non-traditional day in order to have a better chance of using all your same vendors - ie. a Friday night wedding. What about doing a small ceremony quickly - and then have a big reception after the baby arrives?

I'm sure whatever you do will be perfect for you! This is SO exciting - be sure to take it for what it is...TWO BLESSINGS! : ) Good luck! 

klkier8398

I'm in camp Move it up too. A friend of mine in a similar situation waited till their daughter was nearly 3. She seriously pushed it back by 6 months 4 times. IMHO, they should have had a small friends and family thing prior to the baby coming. There are also other plusses of being married such as health benifits. I obviously dont know your personsal situation, but that would be a big concern for me.

SillyLGoose

Congrats on both! 

I agree with other posters, there is a lot of money being thrown and a lot of "what-ifs" with the pregnancy. Since you asked, I don't think it would be wise to keep your current wedding date. The kind of stress you are supposed to feel on your wedding day is not healthy for you or your baby at 10 days prior to your due date. Forget feeling uncomfortable...your pregnant...it's all about the little one. 

Also, Please please please make some excuse to keep your mom at bay until after Jan. 8th when you have your first prenatal appointment. I hate to be a pessimist but I think this is very important. 

Re: making the announcement at the wedding if you move-up the date - I am horribly old-fashioned and this would completely turn me off. Either tell everyone before the wedding or after. 

squirrly

Congratulations!  I got scared a month or so ago and thought I was in the same situation, and after lots of soul searching, we decided that moving the wedding up would be our preference.  My parents would not have reacted well, but FMIL would have been elated!  As it turns out we have no need to reschedule, but that's what I would do in your shoes. 

You may be suprised at what is available earlier in the year.  You mentioned an outdoor ceremony site - talk to the venue about what other options exist.  If it's cold, could you put up a tent with heaters? 

Pearls03

I would say that you should move the wedding up. No need to tell anyone except maybe a few close family members the reason yet. (Besides maybe your vendors who may be more willing to be flexible if they know the situation).  It should work out fine.  Most women find their second trimester of pregnancy is when they are most comfortable, so getting married when you are about four or five months along could work well.  That's what my cousin did--got married when she was about four months along. She wasn't large and uncomfortable yet and most of her morning sickness had passed by then. 

sweety7946

Congratulations!!!!  To both the baby andthe wedding!  I think your idea of moving the wedding up and announcing it their would be really nice.  You'll feel much better to do the wedding before the baby as opposed to after he/she is born.