I need help!

GinaCamarotaDuvall

Ok, so I've been engaged for a total of 3 weeks. And already I feel like pulling my hair out. I'm from New Jersey, and he's from Maryland. I relocated to Maryland and purchased a house with him leaving my entire family in New Jersey. So here's the problem. Do I get married in New Jersey or Maryland? My dad has said he wants me to get married at home... I don't even know where to look, or what place to be interested in. I seriously need help and advice. Is it to soon to even be looking at this stuff. I feel so lost. Help me please!

notyetavet

Don't pull your hair out.  The missing clumps would totally throw off your wedding look. 

It may sound silly, but before you decide on where you're getting married, you should think about WHEN you're getting married.  Different seasons can open up all sorts of different venues.  Once you have that worked out, decide who is paying.  If it's your dad, then his opinion on where the wedding is will be a bit more important than it would be if you and your FI are paying.  Does your FI have a location preference?  

Oh, and you can always check your local board for venue recommendations.  Narrow down your list to a few different places, make some appointments, and make a trip with FI to see them if you decide on NJ.   

jagore08

Have you talked with your FI and asked his preference?  If he doesn't care where you're married then maybe getting married in your home town would be the answer.  Think about what kind of wedding you want to have (formal, semi-formal, casual, outdoor, ballroom, historical, vintage) and start from there.  It will make finding a venue easier and point you in a direction instead of running all over town.

AshleyLR06

I totally understand! I'm from Maryland, my FI's from South Carolina, and we're both PhD students in Michigan. With that being said, we're getting married in October in Maryland. We considered: 1) season/weather -- Michigan's way too fickle in October for our taste; 2) traveling time -- Michigan's too far away for his family to drive; 3) cost -- the one area that Michigan won; 4) convenience of planning -- I have a mom, sisters, aunts, and cousins in Maryland who have been a lifesaver in terms of recommendations, checking out places that I saw online, etc. Our venue also came with a package that included a wedding coordinator, caterer, cake, DJ, photographer, videographer, décor, etc. We just had to check out and approve all of our vendors in a few weekend visits home, and all we needed was flowers! 

With email and my cell phone, planning a long-distance wedding actually hasn't been that bad. Picking the place was actually the hardest part, but you'll be totally fine! I hope this helps, and good luck. :-)

[Deleted User]

The other ladies have had some great suggestions. But you definitely need to discuss this with your FI. If he doens't have a preference, I think getting married in your hometown would make more sense so that only one side of the family has to travel (assuming most of his family still live back in his home state).

For us, it wasnt a hard decision bc we are both from Ohio, but live in Georgia. I always knew I wanted to get married back home.

mattycam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:6c618dd2-6bbe-44c2-9d29-fc2356e11479Post:72360f43-8f36-4b79-9740-77e621d8743c">Re: I need help!</a>:
[QUOTE]The other ladies have had some great suggestions. But you definitely need to discuss this with your FI. Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

Once you get his opinion then you will have a better idea on what your next steps should be!

meganb1977

I was pulling my hair out within a few weeks of my engagement too.  Get yourself de-stressed and have a heart to heart with your fiance.  Location is one of the big things to agree on but not the ONLY big thing so there will be ways to compromise if you have a difference of opinion.  If you work together you'll get it figured out!

abgpal11

I met my FI when I moved 3 hours away to go to college, so his entire family is here and my entire family is 3 hours away.  We decided to get married in my hometown because we took into consideration who would be able to go where.  I have a large family and a lot of them are older and would be unable to make the trip, as well as a lot of people children (all of which we want to be there).  But, my FI's family is all younger people and wouldn't have as difficult of a time traveling.  Before we made any decisions, he called a few of his closest relatives to ask them how they would feel about driving 3 hours and everyone that was important to him for them to be there said that they would have no problem in coming. 

So I guess my point is, another thing to consider is who would be able to attend the wedding at each location and see if one of the options would be easier for most people to attend.  Obviously some people might be left out one way or another, but maybe your FI and you can figure out the 'best' option.