Just Engaged and Proposals

Got engaged at prom!

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Re: Got engaged at prom!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:1c1cf191-7672-4e80-8864-4eb7e2037195">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP, congratulations!! I disagree with many of the posts on this thread. I found "the one" at age 17, and both of us recognized the fact that we were going to get married, at 17. I am still with him today, at age 21. We got engaged at 20 and will be married at 22. I don't see a single issue with any of this. Yes, it's going to be scary having to worry about finances and the dynamics of our marriage, etc. Yes, it's going to be tough. But we're both prepared for that and are working out as many things as we can beforehand. We're committed and that's all that matters. We're in it for the long haul, which is what marriage is about. We have a committed, respectful, loving relationship, and we'll work through whatever happens. Being "too young" isn't a good reason to not get married. I am rather old-fashioned, though, so perhaps that is why no one on TK seems to share my opinion. In any case, congratulations on your engagement and the very best of luck for your marriage!!
    Posted by inkstainedpages[/QUOTE]

    Thank you so much! It means a lot! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
  • edited June 2012
    I was engaged when I was 16. I was passionately, deeply in love, and was so excited to have found my soulmate!! We planned to elope once we both turned 18.

    By age 17, I had changed a lot over just a year of highschool. Due to both common and unexpected highschool milestones, my priorities had changed- and what I was most attracted to in a partner had changed. This was COMPLETELY unexpected, you have to believe I was just as dedicated and in love as you are now!
    But it wasn't enough that we were still in love, because that change in me meant I needed someone who was more responsible for their actions, and who wasn't just hilariously funny, but also continually considerate and kind. It was like we had this wonderful fairytale love- but it turned out that it just didn't apply to the real world and its hardships well.

    It took several more months (quite close to when we'd originally thought we'd be married!) for me to come out of denial and accept the change. We were really, really sad about breaking up, but it was clearly just the best option.

    You know, I was completely devastated and heartbroken for the last year of highschool, and all through the first year of college too. But 6 years after that breakup, I am SO GLAD it happened. I am now happily engaged to a much more complementary match I had the great luck of meeting almost a year ago! And we're still going to wait a few years before taking the next step, because true love can do that. Why not?

    Waiting is a good idea, because when you're young, you really are going to change a lot, in a bunch of different ways, over what all the older folks see as a relatively short time period. And if it's true love after all, you'll make it through a few years of your engagement. And if you don't, you're not meant to be, and you have saved both of yourselves a lot of pain.

    **PS If there is any chance one of the reasons you don't want to wait is to have sex, that is not a reason to risk your future happiness. I know this can be a contentious thing to say, as it affects people's religious and moral convictions, but I was raised in a very religious and repressed community, and I know several girls who are unhappily married, who took the plunge early because they felt they *just couldn't wait* to sleep together.

    All their mothers have mentioned to mine that in spite of their really strict moral/belief system, they would have suspended their anti-premarital sex ideas with their daughters in the context of preemptive marriage, if they had known these early, and now unhappy, marriages were going to be the response. My mother and I both thought that was very surprising. And worth sharing, I think.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:2a06992d-4552-416d-bbf0-2f36145b6bd2">Re:Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Got engaged at prom! : Yes.  By all means make horrible decisions and make a total ass of yourself.  Why listen to people who have been where you are? In case you missed it, nobody here told OP not to marry this guy, we told her to hold off on marrying him and have a long engagement and then gave a few dozen reasons why this would be a good idea. As for your 24/7 comment, most of us work at computers and can log on several times a day.  I'm usually on when DH is watching something on TV that I don't want to see.  And thanks for your concern, but my marriage is happy (and stable), girlfriends and I have regular girls nights out and I talk to my parents and brothers every couple of days.  So sweet of you to assume that we are all unatrractive women though.  If you dont' like our advice, then don't take it but you do nobody any favors by validating a really bad idea. <strong>The only hateful person I see here is you. </strong>
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Well obviously you wouldn't consider yourself hateful when you're so used to the way you approach speaking to other women when telling them they're wrong. And no, nobody told her not to marry this guy but after beating her up about her age, calling her a troll, telling her she's making the wrong decision, etc, I'm sure she doesn't feel too good.</div><div>

    </div>
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  • erolliserollis member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2012
    OP, rainsofmelody and laurelrenee1 both had fantastic comments to your post. 

    I knew at 17 I was going to marry my now H. He knew too. We started dating in High-school at 17 (I had turned 17 the day before he asked me out) and him 16. I am not saying wait until your 10 year anniversary like we did to get married. Just holding off until you turn 19 or 20 will make all the difference. H was even traditional enough to ask my father for my hand in marriage. 

    Almost all of these ladies had great advice and words of wisdom. No one is saying not to get married, just wait.  Your story is sweet and it will be such a nice story to tell your kids. Just because everyone you know got married young does not mean you have to too. You are not them. Do what is right for you and you will be happy.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:2ff1572f-0d66-4919-a4ec-426cda089104">Re:Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girl All these women aren't even planning weddings they just like sitting on the computer and think they're better than everyone else. The best part is they are all about THEIR opinion and dont listen to anyone else. I think they are most likely unattractive old women who hide behind a computer screen and act like the "popular kids" in high school and gang up on people who are happy about planning a wedding. They make fun of "newbies" but honestly why would someone stay on a wedding planning forum after they're married? Have some kids or something! Lol they honestly think we all WANT their opinion so they stick around and keep talking and talking and talking like get a REAL life! Fact of the matter is some of us brides to be come on here for ideas for our wedding to the man of our dreams, some women come on here seeking drama cause they want fulfillment in their lives! They'll never go away so it's best to just ignore them cause they looooove getting a rise out of people. Let's be real, if they had happy marriages and families and friends, they wouldn't be on TK 24/7 pissing people off. Let's enjoy wedding planning and not let these grumpy women ruin it for us!
    Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]
    Ally, this is really uncalled for. There is so much wrong, nasty and judgey about your post. We stay on these forums to give advice that works, to help others and because we have made friends here. 
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  • Congrats! Just PLEASE have a longer engagement! If you're 18, at least 3 years so you can toast with champagne! I almost got engaged at 18, but knew full well I was far too immature to deal with it. 4 years later I am with the same guy, not engaged yet, but will be as soon as my family's hectic situation settles down a bit. Get some sort of secondary schooling (trade/college) in you and get a FT job first if you can. Congratulations again Sugarplum! (they say half of marriages fail, but that includes people who repeatedly get divorced, so don't listen!)

     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • edited June 2012
    Hey Sugar,
    I'm not exactly "in" the same boat as you (as in coming out of high school) but I'm in the same boat as you, haha. (If that makes any sense) I'm young (19) and engaged. Your story was romantic and totally sweet (: Congratulations on your engagement!

    Of course I don't have 10+ years of marraige to validate my advice, nor has either one of my parents both of whom are divorced and have been several times can accredit to my knowledge about a "long lasting and stable" marriage. I've in fact seen so many marraiges go down the drain (4) that I know a quite bit about learning from your parents mistakes. If you're open to take my advice even though I'm "young"  I'd just like to say a couple things to help with your future with you and your FI that has made my relationship pretty friggin strong.
    (Things I've learned, not trying to run your life or relationship, lol)
    1.) Love is not enough to make a marraige. Period. No if's, ands or buts about it. Love is all well and good, it can keep you going through tough emotional times but love doesn't pay the rent.
    2.) Communicate, ALWAYS communicate. There's been plenty of times that I've gotten mad at my FI and him at me but we very, very rarely go to bed mad. I hope you and your FI will always talk and listen to each other! A lot of people say talking is important but it's just as important as listening.
    3.) Some people believe against living with your significant other before marriage, I, however, disagree. My mother didn't fully live with her second husband before marraige and it ended in disaster. They turned out to be completely WRONG for each other when you stuck them under the same room 24/7. Which now brings me to my third point.
    4.) Money can make or break a marraige. If neither one of you can balance a check book, pay a bill or know how to properly budget, it's not time to get married, instead it's time to do a bit more maturing before matramony.

    Speaking of maturing, take your time! Like me, we're both young and we have the rest of our lives to get married. (I can't wait to get married but both my FI and I have decided to wait until after we graduate college to get hitched). As my mother put it and I've taken her advice, ENJOY your engagement! And I hope you do (: I also hope you don't find me troll-ish. Best wishes to your new engagement and wedding planning! If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm just a click away!! :D
  • OMG!!!!!! That is so wonderful!!!!!! I got in engaged while my boyfriend was walking me to class. I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!!
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