HOW did you tell your parents?

Elle1036

I feel stupid just writing this post, but I'm really nervous about the idea of announcing my engagement to my parents.  (The engagement isn't official yet, so maybe I'm a little psycho for stressing about this already, but yeah...)

I'm 25, have been financially independent for years, have a great job, and my parents love BF.  So, really, I have no reason to worry; I just have a strange-ish relationship with my parents, and have no idea what to expect when I tell them.

Was anybody else scared of making the announcement?  How did you do it and how did it go?

jagore08

DH already told his parent months before he proposed when he purchased the ring.  He also called my parents and let them know/asked for my hand.  I didn't have to do anything.

jzelank

my parents knew he was proposing to me so when I called them to tell them my mother just started giggling like a school girl b/c she was so happy.  I am sure your parents will do the same.  As long as you are happy they should be happy.

Elle1036

Hmmm...  One thing that I feel pretty strongly about is BF NOT calling my parents to talk to them before-hand.  I just don't like the tradition at all.  Of course, I mean no offense to anyone who did it that way, but it's not right for me.

Lucky him -- he's already talked to his parents about our plans and they're both excited.  The other day, when he brought up the idea of calling my parents, I was half-tempted to abandon my convictions and let him, just so that I wouldn't have to break the news myself.  Ugh.

meganyani

I was nervous too because I have an odd realtionship with them (ie: they've never known anything about my personal life and that's just how it is). So yeah it was weird for me but I had my sister come to dinner with me and my mom. She wouldn't be awkward/whatever in public so I figured that the best idea. hahaha. Reinforcements worked for me!

[Deleted User]

Well, my IL's knew about the engagement coming and it was so hard for my MIL to keep quiet about it. She is so bad at keeping secrets...lol.

My H proposed in front of both of our families, so everyone knew at the same time. I don't have the greatest relationship with my parents either even though they definitely knew it was coming as I had told them how we felt about each other, etc.

Elle1036

Megan --  how did your mom take it?  I'm just curious.  I think the public location is a good idea.

jerseydevil

I was the last to know bc he told his parents and asked for my hand.

It is a big announcement, but it sounds like you're doing well and since your parents like him, just call them and tell them! Or invite them over for dinner, but if your mom is anything like mine, she'll spot the ring right away.

nationalvixen

Ah, my Fi told my Mom so she was at the proposal, and my ext. family knew it was coming.. the worst part was my Dad.. he's never even met him! I tried calling him te same night, but he was already asleep. I sent a text to my Step Brother to tell him.. and in the morning my Step Mom went through his phone and saw it and told my Dad. He came to work (we work together) and was like "Do you have something to tell me? ... does he have a job? .. let me see the ring" and that was about it haha. But i was so nervous I thought I would throw up!

diamondx423

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_did-tell-parents-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:7f1d82e7-4cd5-4a83-9314-f5825d52a071Post:439beb43-bdf3-4133-8041-434af4eb5fda">Re: HOW did you tell your parents?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HOW did you tell your parents?  And, to further complicate the issue, my parents are divorced.  Is there any precedent for which parent to tell first?
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

i would tell the parent who i think would be the most excited for me first.

FI proposed and the next day i called to tell my parents, then grandparents and then godparents and finally friends.  it took about a week to tell everyone!  i live far from home so i just called everyone.

skyler1108

FI asked my father for my hand in marriage before he proposed so my entire family and his family knew he was going to ask and knew when he was going to ask. All I had to do was show them the ring.

meganyani

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_did-tell-parents-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:7f1d82e7-4cd5-4a83-9314-f5825d52a071Post:95387a2f-3b52-4235-a636-6fbaf6b8ed8a">Re: HOW did you tell your parents?</a>:
[QUOTE]Megan --  how did your mom take it?  I'm just curious.  I think the public location is a good idea.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

She did very well. Didn't even cry! She said she wished I had told her sooner and that my dad was there but he works til 10pm every day so that was difficult. She was happy but I still was guarded for awhile on all the details of everything. Baby steps!

wihltsabow

It's going to be uncomfortable with my parents as well. My sister got engaged with her BF of 7 years and the second I even mentioned something about "eventually down the road" with the man I'd been with for 6 months, everyone asked what the big rush is. I don't want to wait 5+ years. I have a 3yo and I would like to give her some siblings but I'm going to wait until I'm married this time. I guess you just know when you know...

nicweaver

Don't be nervous! It's not like you are 18, fresh out of high school and have been with your BF for a month, THEN I would be worried, haha. You are a 25 mature independent adult, of course you want your parents approval but it is your life, if for some reason they don't like it at first, they will accept it and eventually approve, you are their daughter after all.

As for me, I was very nervous only because both my fiance and I are still in college, upcoming seniors. So I didn't want my parents thinking I was in a rush, after all we have been together since we were 17 and we are both 21 now and living together for 2 years. Kyle actually drove to my parents house, 45 minutes away, and talked with them before he proposed which I was very proud of him, and I think my dad respected him for that. I think that made it go a lot smoother.

LuisaPaterson

I specified to my boyfriend (now fiancee) that when he did propose, I wanted him to ask my parents before.  They weren't 100% fans of our relationship because he isn't of the same religion, but he still went and talked to them.

My mom then sent him a message telling him how much that meant to her, etc., etc. and welcomed him to the family.  Then after he proposed (we were on vacation at that point) she sent him another message telling him what a great job he did and gave him advice on how to handle me

I guess what I'm saying is that the parents really do appreciate them asking for permission.

HobokensFury

My mom already knew.  FI told her months before it happened.

vintage610

We were nervous to tell my parents since we weren't sure how they'd take the news. My mom especially is a huge drama queen. She once yelled at my 30-something year old sister for announcing that she was pregnant (thus causing a HUGE fight that lasted for years). So we went to Michaels and bought some cardstock and 3D wedding stickers and we made 4x6 cards that said simply "We're Engaged!" with sticker embellishments. We sent these to our parents, siblings, his best friend, and my best friend. A few days after we sent them, we started getting phone calls and it worked really well because everyone had time to let the surprise sink in and to come to terms with the engagement on their own without having to react right in front of us. In the end, the only un-excited person was my mom.

mandi921vh

FI asked both my parents permission on a trip to my hometown one weekend about a month before the proposal, so they knew it was coming, just not when, they didn't tell anyone else about it. FI told his parents he was going to do it and they passed the word on to the rest of his family. After the proposal I texted my mom telling her to get my dad to the computer so I could Skype with them. What I didn't know was that my sister, grandparents, and one of my aunts were at my parents' house too. FI and I told everyone to gather around the computer and then we announced the news. I told everyone how he did it and showed them the ring. Everyone was really happy for us! Then we spent the next few hours calling other family and friends with the news.

Lazyzoey

I was worried when I introduced my BF to my parent, but for the engagement , I just called them, then they asked us to come back my hometown for a travel.  HAHA

IdolFan2890

I didn't have to tell my parents, haha....my dad and step-mom (and my fiance's mom) were all there when he proposed I just had to call my real mom and I just called her and said "Billy just proposed to me!!"