Just Engaged and Proposals

Don't want to be in my best friend's wedding.

My BFF just got engaged and I really don't want to be in her wedding. I didn't know where to post this, so sorry all. I feel as of lately we are not as close, and I try to get involved with her wedding stuff, but she has a major attitude. I know she's stressed, but she still has a year before the wedding. Everything about the wedding pisses me off to be honest. She made sure to remind me that the wedding was no kids, bc I have three and another on the way, but she is using children from his side that she doesn't even know. That's fine, bc my kids aren't into that stuff, but I dunno. Everything revolves around him, and did I mention, she's cheated on him with my hubby's friends? How do I tell her I really don't want to be in her wedding. I mentioned it before, and she got all butt hurt, but I want no part in this sh** show. I relly dislike the guy as well. He always comments about her weight. I just don't feel like paying money to fly with my DH to see my bff make a mistake. 
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Re: Don't want to be in my best friend's wedding.

  • Tell her the truth or tell her you cant afford it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_dont-want-to-be-in-my-best-friends-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:8a4fb01c-1c18-4c75-b78a-0e77322a7938Post:6932be73-d063-481e-beef-bb6894524d4c">Re: Don't want to be in my best friend's wedding.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Tell her the truth or tell her you cant afford it.
    Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]
    I've been discussing it with another friend, and I think the truth is the best way to go. 
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  • Ok... as both ladies mentioned above, just say finances are tight and you can't do it. If she throws a fit say that you have kids and they need you more. Especially since you are expecting a little bundle of joy soon! She should get that at least.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_dont-want-to-be-in-my-best-friends-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:8a4fb01c-1c18-4c75-b78a-0e77322a7938Post:2a49021d-893f-4e3d-b383-3eb751e1482f">Re: Don't want to be in my best friend's wedding.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Please don't follow the very bad advice above unless you want to end the friendship permanently. <strong>"The truth" ISN'T always the best way to go. </strong>  There is no way your BF will hear that you don't like her fiance and are unhappy with her marriage propsects without being a heck of a  lot worse than "butt hurt."  That isn't just "the truth"; it's an insult to her.  (Whether this is true or not is irrelevant.  This is not the sort of things friends say to friends).<strong> DIPLOMACY</strong> is what is needed in this case.  "I'm so honored that you asked me to be a bridesmaid, but it's just too much for me at the moment in terms of time and expense.  As you know, I've got small children and one on the way.  I know you'll understand, and of course I wouldn't dream of seeing you get married and not be there.  I'm eager to attend as a guest." She will need her friends more than ever if her marriage fails with this guy. Sounds like he's an abuser.  Abusers are fond of telling their victims how stupid they are, and how it's all their fault.  Lots of women are too ashamed to seek help, and you'll have shut a door in her face with your "warning."  Please, be diplomatic.  You don't have to lie to her, but the truth isn't the best choice in this case.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    I agree with Retread- use some diplomacy- tell her that funds are tight and you are honored that she thinks of you as so close, but you just can't do it. Tell her that you are willing to support her as a guest though (and decide later if you wish to attend).
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  • I think you should just be HONEST.
    Seems like no matter what you tell her the reason is, Shes going to be mad. And there is a chance it may end the friendship all together, so that is something you need be prepared for.Which im assuming you have thought about if you dont want to be in her wedding or even attend. Some times people just grow apart and that seems to be happening here. Be honest with her and just expect nothing from it. Good luck!
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