Just Engaged and Proposals

Need money advice

My fiance and I have been engaged now for about 6 months. I'm still in school and we planned on a long engagement (a few years) because we are paying for the wedding ourselves. My concerns lie within my fiance's inability to save money. He's working full time and I feel guilty about telling him how to spend his hard-earned money, but with a large wedding to plan and bills to pay, am I wrong in thinking we should put off the 90-gal saltwater fish tank? How can I get him to understand that I see the money being spent as our wedding going down the drain even if we have a few years to plan? Please help! Any advice is welcome.  Thank you!!

Re: Need money advice

  • You two need to sit down and agree how much money each month should go to the wedding (a percentage or number you both are ok with). Each of you should still be able to have extra "fun" money. Like, if he has extra- because he had peanut butter sandwiches instead of eating out all week - he can spend that extra on whatever he wants with no judgement from you.  My point is you can't take all the fun out of life until your wedding.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • In Response to Re: Need money advice:
    You two need to sit down and agree how much money each month should go to the wedding (a percentage or number you both are ok with). Each of you should still be able to have extra "fun" money. Like, if he has extra- because he had peanut butter sandwiches instead of eating out all week - he can spend that extra on whatever he wants with no judgement from you.  My point is you can't take all the fun out of life until your wedding.
    Posted by redheadfsu
    See, I was going to respond, but this is basically what I was going to say.  So I'll just be lazy and quote.
  • jrkjpfjrkjpf
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    member
    FI is the same way. We sat down after we agreed on a date and came up with a plan on how much to save each month. FI makes almost less than half than I do, and saving all this extra puts him in a bind at the end of each month, but I am willing to cover the necessities as well as a little extra fun to keep us sane.

    Keep in mind that some of the I wants are going to be replaced with the we needs, things will be tough for awhile, but well worth it.

    Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

  • nannewmurnannewmur
    100 Comments
    member
    edited May 2011
    I am going to throw this in, b/c I don't think it has been said.

    You mentioned you are having a long engagement and are in college.  I assume you will be moving in the next 2-3 years.  Unless he has a lot of experience with a salt water, they are very expensive to maintain,, the fish are expensive and very difficult to move.  You might want to mention this when the convo comes up.
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