Just Engaged and Proposals
Options

bit of an odd situation...

just wanted to get some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years now. i love him more than anyone, and was lucky enough to be his platonic best friend for a few years before we started dating. when we had been together for about 3 years, we decided we wanted to get engaged soon. we looked at rings and the whole bit. only a few weeks after that, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. i went home to take care of her, and my boyfriend came to help me. after a few short months she passed. i had a really tough time dealing with it, and my boyfriend has been wonderful about it. i told him i could not think about a wedding at that point, as the idea of having a wedding, babies, etc without my mom around was too painful to think about. he was totally understanding and we havn't talked about it since. thankfully, i now feel ready. my question is, how should i let him know? i really like the idea of an actual proposal (coming from him), so im afraid if i just come out with "okay, im ready now", that will be it. i also don't want to blind side him with it either, since it might have to be an idea he needs to ease back into too. any ideas for a subtle way of letting him know? thanks in advance for any help!

Re: bit of an odd situation...

  • Options
    ps i joined this site about a year ago to help my brother with his wedding planning
  • Options
    i told my FI to hold off on a proposal when he first started talking about it.  4 years after that i felt we were in a position where we could handle a wedding.  he isn't very good at taking a hint (me looking at wedding sites/magazines, talking about weddings, saying i wished we were married lol) so i just had to go ahead and say, it would be nice if we got married soon or if we started thinking about marriage.  Its true i didn't get a proposal but i did get to pick out the ring i wanted with him.  We had a blast talking about getting married and picking out a ring, I'm so glad I just bit the bullet and guided him.  Hes a wonderful guy in his own way but not extremely good at surprises :)  It was a lot more fun doing things together (now hes involved in the planning too) that I'm glad things turned out this way.
  • Options
    I think you could just be honest with him and tell him that you're ready to "start thinking about" marriage, the next step, etc. That way it's not a decision to get married then and there without the proposal, but rather a way to let him know that you're ready to open the discussion, and hopefully that will give him time to start saving, and find the right ring and plan a proposal. 

    I know not all proposals are extravagant, but ours took 2 months of planning (and conference calls, plus 60 people sworn to secrecy) for it to all come together.
  • Options
    Just tell him "when you're ready to ask me again I'm ready to say yes". 
    ExerciseMilestone Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    "Thanks for letting me deal with everything I was feeling. I think I have processed it.  Whenever you are ready to talk about the next step in our relationship, I can now listen."

    Or something like that. Just let him know you are open to talk about it.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

    image
    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_bit-of-odd-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:d37b6faf-62d9-407a-adf3-1378bdfc8140Post:ac509ce4-4fc2-4005-ae28-ecf306927597">Re: bit of an odd situation...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: bit of an odd situation... : I vote for this.  Maybe preface it by saying how much you love him and appreciate his patience while you dealt with losing your mom.
    Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]


    ditto this...
    BabyFetus Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards