So what if the Gf proposes...

aoideeos

What if the girlfriend proposes? Does she buy him a ring? Does SHE still get a ring? does anyone know of stories of "She proposed to Him"? 

Just curious

[Deleted User]

If the girlfriend proposes, it's weird and shows that she's way too controlling. Women are more emotional and they're naturally going to want to get married before their fiance. Wait until HE is ready to get married. If you start off like that, then YOU'RE making the relationship happen, and you'll never know if he truly wanted to marry you. Let him be the man and handle that. So many women want it both ways. They want the man to treat them like a lady, but they want to wear the pants too. If she buys him a ring, that's also weird, and I would wonder about a guy who accepts an engagement ring from a girl. And if she wants to be the "man" and propose to him, then no, she shouldn't get a ring too. I've heard of stories of "She proposed to Him". I saw it on a VH1 show called "Love and Hip Hop", a woman named Chrissy proposed to a rapper named Jim Jones. It was strange.

nextrightthing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:d61eda24-f9c7-40a2-9697-5bda90dc8668">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]If the girlfriend proposes, it's weird and shows that she's way too controlling. Women are more emotional and they're naturally going to want to get married before their fiance. Wait until HE is ready to get married. If you start off like that, then YOU'RE making the relationship happen, and you'll never know if he truly wanted to marry you. Let him be the man and handle that. So many women want it both ways. They want the man to treat them like a lady, but they want to wear the pants too. If she buys him a ring, that's also weird, and I would wonder about a guy who accepts an engagement ring from a girl. And if she wants to be the "man" and propose to him, then no, she shouldn't get a ring too. I've heard of stories of "She proposed to Him". I saw it on a VH1 show called "Love and Hip Hop", a woman named Chrissy proposed to a rapper named Jim Jones. It was strange.
Posted by keringtonp[/QUOTE]

Really?  "Women are more emotional and they're naturally going to want to get married before their fiance."  ?!  That's silly.  All couples are different, and there are plenty of couples in which the man wants to get married before the woman....I've personally known a lot of couples like this.  "So many women want it both ways."  ?!?!  Luckily for us, we can have it both ways and be a woman while still getting to "wear the pants" from time to time too.  Thank God I have a fiance who shares the "pants-wearing" position with me, because even though I'm a woman, I get to have a say in life-changing decisions like when we get engaged.

It is so FUNNY to me that people are still this old-fashioned and sexist.  Personally, I wouldn't propose but I see no problem with a woman doing it. 

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:d61eda24-f9c7-40a2-9697-5bda90dc8668">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]If the girlfriend proposes, it's weird and shows that she's way too controlling. Women are more emotional and they're naturally going to want to get married before their fiance. Wait until HE is ready to get married. If you start off like that, then YOU'RE making the relationship happen, and you'll never know if he truly wanted to marry you. Let him be the man and handle that. So many women want it both ways. They want the man to treat them like a lady, but they want to wear the pants too. If she buys him a ring, that's also weird, and I would wonder about a guy who accepts an engagement ring from a girl. And if she wants to be the "man" and propose to him, then no, she shouldn't get a ring too. I've heard of stories of "She proposed to Him". I saw it on a VH1 show called "Love and Hip Hop", a woman named Chrissy proposed to a rapper named Jim Jones. It was strange.
Posted by keringtonp[/QUOTE]
Wow, you're kind of a judgemental biotch aren't you? Every relationship is different and you have no right to judge what is right for another couple.

mcskatcat

I think a lot of guys would be put off by this.  I don't think it's "not okay" but I think you'd have to be sure both are on the same page AND that he wasn't getting excited to pick out a ring and plan a proposal.  I'm sure it would work for some couples, but yes, I'm also very sure there are girls who would do it because they are sick of waiting or some equally bad reason.

cwaggoner07

I never would have, especially when FI told me how much he enjoyed planning the proposal, and how he had thought about it for YEARS. Not in detail, but he said the way girls envision things for their weddings, guys envision the proposal because it's the thing they have control over.

charbakes

She does whatever works for both of you. People are different.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:036b4f50-0f94-4c00-a460-8a40b3f1ba7a">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, so wow at the first response to this. I proposed to my FI. I am not a controlling biotch or overly emotional or whatever. My FI is still very much a man. In fact, he's man enough to be proposed to and not think for a second that it threatens his masculinity. <strong>Welcome to 2012, where women are people, too, and don't have to wait around on fainting couches with fans for men to make the major decisions about their lives for them.</strong> As for your question, I know my FI really wants to marry me because he said yes when I asked him and because he has told me multiple times that he wants to marry me. How does your FI know that you want to marry him? Done feeding the troll. Here's my answer to the OP. OP, it doesn't matter who proposes. What matters is that you spend the rest of your life with the person that you love. Yes, there will be people who think that it's odd if you proposed instead of him or who will not know how to respond to it, since it is not the norm. Whatever. That's how it goes. I did give him a gift when I proposed and then we designed my ring together. (We decided to get a ring together, as a couple; I did not ask him to buy me one. We also split the cost, but that was my call, as he'd offered to pay for it himself.) This is what worked for us. I could have gotten him an e-ring, but I knew that he'd only want a wedding band. I also could have just proposed without any sort of gift.
Posted by Schatzi13[/QUOTE]

This! 

runpipparun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:d61eda24-f9c7-40a2-9697-5bda90dc8668">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>If the girlfriend proposes, it's weird and shows that she's way too controlling. Women are more emotional and they're naturally going to want to get married before their fiance. Wait until HE is ready to get married. If you start off like that, then YOU'RE making the relationship happen, and you'll never know if he truly wanted to marry you. Let him be the man and handle that. So many women want it both ways. They want the man to treat them like a lady, but they want to wear the pants too. </strong>If she buys him a ring, that's also weird, and I would wonder about a guy who accepts an engagement ring from a girl. And if she wants to be the "man" and propose to him, then no, she shouldn't get a ring too. I've heard of stories of "She proposed to Him". I saw it on a VH1 show called "Love and Hip Hop", a woman named Chrissy proposed to a rapper named Jim Jones. It was strange.
Posted by keringtonp[/QUOTE]

<div>I find this offensive. In the words of Epstein, up your nose with a rubber hose.</div>

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:d61eda24-f9c7-40a2-9697-5bda90dc8668">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]If the girlfriend proposes, it's weird and shows that she's way too controlling. Women are more emotional and they're naturally going to want to get married before their fiance. Wait until HE is ready to get married. If you start off like that, then YOU'RE making the relationship happen, and you'll never know if he truly wanted to marry you. Let him be the man and handle that. <strong>So many women want it both ways. They want the man to treat them like a lady, but they want to wear the pants too.</strong> If she buys him a ring, that's also weird, and I would wonder about a guy who accepts an engagement ring from a girl. And if she wants to be the "man" and propose to him, then no, she shouldn't get a ring too. I've heard of stories of "She proposed to Him". I saw it on a VH1 show called "Love and Hip Hop", a woman named Chrissy proposed to a rapper named Jim Jones. It was strange.
Posted by keringtonp[/QUOTE]

My H does treat me like a lady, but I still get to make all my own damn decisions and if I had wanted to propose to him, I would've. You are extremely judgmental and are stereotyping both men and women. Way to go.

OP, I don't know if I personally would have proposed, but I have absolutely no issue with women who do. I know my H was really excited to propose (we had talked about the proposal in general over the years and he said he couldn't wait to see the look on my face when he did someday), so I didn't want to take that away from him.

HuckSC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:2ffc26de-10f3-42f9-bb0d-5259902d9c51">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So what if the Gf proposes... : I find this offensive. In the words of Epstein, up your nose with a rubber hose.
Posted by runpipparun[/QUOTE]

I just LOVE that you used a Welcome Back Kotter quote. That is all.

JaniV123

after getting verbally engaged (ie. setting our wedding date) 3 months ago, like a month and a half ago I proposed to him. i was going to get him a ring but he didn't want to have 2 rings in the end so I got him and engagement watch.

I am still getting an e-ring and a "proposal" later on. 

we are totally happy with our choices even afetr being judged by others for being so untraditional

ETA: i felt pretty offended by the comments of the first response and agree with everyone else, as I myself have proposed to my FI. to eacht heir own. yes i have been judged for  being engaged without a ring, but we don't care. 

the reason why I proposed to him was he always said "if men and women are equals, why do I have to propose? why don't you propose to me?" so I did and we have enjoyed every second of it. he is still going to "propose" because he has planned it, but financial reasons and other reasons will make the arrival of my e-ring a delayed one. i will most likely get it a year before our 2015 wedding

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:d61eda24-f9c7-40a2-9697-5bda90dc8668">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]If the girlfriend proposes, it's weird and shows that she's way too controlling. Women are more emotional and they're naturally going to want to get married before their fiance. Wait until HE is ready to get married. If you start off like that, then YOU'RE making the relationship happen, and you'll never know if he truly wanted to marry you. Let him be the man and handle that. So many women want it both ways. They want the man to treat them like a lady, but they want to wear the pants too. If she buys him a ring, that's also weird, and I would wonder about a guy who accepts an engagement ring from a girl. And if she wants to be the "man" and propose to him, then no, she shouldn't get a ring too. I've heard of stories of "She proposed to Him". I saw it on a VH1 show called "Love and Hip Hop", a woman named Chrissy proposed to a rapper named Jim Jones. It was strange.
Posted by keringtonp[/QUOTE]

Is there an option to *dislike* this? A lot?
Everything that is wrong with this has already been said, so I won't beat a dead horse. That's animal abuse.

OP - This is kind of a neat article if you want to check it out!
<a rel="nofollow" href="http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/04/women-proposing-tomen/">http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/04/women-proposing-tomen/</a>

hwoychowski

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:d61eda24-f9c7-40a2-9697-5bda90dc8668">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]If the girlfriend proposes, it's weird and shows that she's way too controlling. Women are more emotional and they're naturally going to want to get married before their fiance. Wait until HE is ready to get married. If you start off like that, then YOU'RE making the relationship happen, and you'll never know if he truly wanted to marry you. Let him be the man and handle that. So many women want it both ways. They want the man to treat them like a lady, but they want to wear the pants too. If she buys him a ring, that's also weird, and I would wonder about a guy who accepts an engagement ring from a girl. And if she wants to be the "man" and propose to him, then no, she shouldn't get a ring too. I've heard of stories of "She proposed to Him". I saw it on a VH1 show called "Love and Hip Hop", a woman named Chrissy proposed to a rapper named Jim Jones. It was strange.
Posted by keringtonp[/QUOTE]

Wow... I AGREE with everything here. I believe there SHOULD be a difference between a man and a woman. Old fashioned - yes. I wish many of the traditions and ways of our grandparents were still around. I believe there would be a hell of alot less issues and more respect. The generation out there is full of entitlement and I blame it on everyone being too PC. I know just about everone is going to disagree but everyone has a right to their own opinion. Except the people that disagree with the majority, right?

charbakes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:6e863386-5268-4feb-81ea-5a22463d0d48">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I also wish the ways of my grandparents were still around. Voting is such a drag, man.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

I miss the days when brides were bought and sold. America is ruining traditional values, like the idea that women are property. TRADITION.

JaniV123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:5eed9a1f-923a-4726-8429-e800554b1bec">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So what if the Gf proposes... : I miss the days when brides were bought and sold. America is ruining traditional values, like the idea that women are property. TRADITION.
Posted by charbakes[/QUOTE]



^^ in so many ways!

Lets all not work and stay at home raising 15 children!

Also lets just drop out of college and stay at the home 24 hours a day waiting for a man to give you orders

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:b456ae5d-05e3-4d3e-ab22-8bb4781ddc78">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So what if the Gf proposes... : Wow... I AGREE with everything here. I believe there SHOULD be a difference between a man and a woman. Old fashioned - yes. I wish many of the traditions and ways of our grandparents were still around. I believe there would be a hell of alot less issues and more respect. The generation out there is full of entitlement and I blame it on everyone being too PC. I know just about everone is going to disagree but everyone has a right to their own opinion. Except the people that disagree with the majority, right?
Posted by hwoychowski[/QUOTE]

Civil rights suck, man!

RamonaFlowers

I never would have proposed and DH never would have accepted if I had. We both agreed that proposing is "man's work" (Which, that's a joke. He does dishes and cooks, and I take out the garbage and kill bugs just as often as the other one does). He really wanted to do the asking, and I really wanted to be the one that was asked.

I really don't have a problem with women proposing, though. If it works for the couple, it works for them. In my relationship, it wouldn't have worked, so we didn't do it that way.

alishaloo

I almost did. My boyfriend asked my mom for my great grandmothers wedding ring and had it for 9 months with out even getting it re-sized let alone asking.I got sick of it and finally hid the ring from him- he did not even notice.
Then we broke up massive crazyness for a month
big enough wake up call for him.
we got back together
and he got the ring fixed up and asked me with in 3 months.
go with the flow.
if i'd asked him we might have never got the fresh start and challenges that we needed to make the changes in our relationship that give us now a functional working relationship!

michellesean

My friends mom drove halfway across the coutry to propose to her husband.  I don't know if she bought him a present, she definitely didn't buy him an e-ring, but they shopped for her ring together. 

I definitely dropped some major hints that I wanted to get engaged.  We had been talking about marraige for a while and I knew it was coming, just didn't know when.  I actually thought he was going to propose with my grandmothers ring when I peek into my mom's bedroom and saw her taking the jewelry box out and showing him.  So I snooped a couple weeks later, saw the ring and said, oh well I guess it'll happen eventually.  Little did I know, my FH had gone ring shopping with my dad. 

I didn't want to take the proposal away from FH, he was really excited and planned the whole thing out.  If I had proposed, his plans would have been shattered.

daniponzio

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_so-what-if-the-gf-proposes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:e40d0ac8-7742-44ba-9367-06ef2b01d951Post:5eed9a1f-923a-4726-8429-e800554b1bec">Re: So what if the Gf proposes...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So what if the Gf proposes... : I miss the days when brides were bought and sold. America is ruining traditional values, like the idea that women are property. TRADITION.
Posted by charbakes[/QUOTE]

<div>Amazing!</div>