Fiancee of a med student

Mbnebgen

My Fiance just finished his first week of med school, we are getting married June 16 2012. It gives me time to finish my last 2 years of undergrad (4.5 hours away) and time for him to get through the first two years of (hell) school. Are we nuts to get married one week after he takes his board exam? Is anyone else doing the same thing?

tldh

If the boards are anything like the bar exam, then I'd say say yes.  I just sat for the bar last Tuesday and Wednesday and am only now beginning to recover from it. 

Is he planning on being an active participant in the planning of the wedding and reception?  I'm getting married 09/18/2010.  Because I've been MIA from wedding planning for the last three months and rushed to get as much done before I started studying, I'm only going to have 6 weeks total to enjoy just being engaged.

MrsMLRB

My fiance is about to start his third year of law school and we are in an LDR (7 hours driving) and getting married 2 months after he takes the bar. He isn't really a part of the planning since I live near where we are getting married. As for getting married right after his boards, I can't say but FI was clear he wanted time off afterwards.

Is it too late to move the date (ie, have you put deposits down already?) Even if you have, since you are planning so far away they may let you move the date since someone is bound to want that date. I would consider moving the date back a bit so he can recover and relax.

On the other hand, when would his residency start? Because I assume you would want to be married before that.

Mbnebgen

He starts his res in 2014. I graduate from my undergrad may of 2012 so we want to get married so I can start looking for jobs in Fort Worth while he finishes school, not that I stay with my parents 5 hours away just to find a job and then to have to quit it to move up there with him one year later.

Thanks so much for the input!!!

TriSaratops10

I just graduated from med school -- yes it is doable, just honestly don't expect anything of him 4-6 weeks before he takes Step 1 - remember to be a licensed physician there are 5 days of boards (Step 1, Step 2 CK, Step 2 CS & Step 3 which is 2 days) so this is his first time taking an exam like the USMLE steps - they are hard. Especially Step 1 since it is CRITICAL for getting into residency, CRITICAL -- even more so than the MCAT for getting into med school. So likely he will take it very seriously.

For my Step 1 I studied about 10hours a day every day of the week except 1 and did that for about 5 weeks...then after the exam it took about 2-3 days to feel "normal" again.

With all that being said, as the groom he should have a much easier go of it than as the bride (there were 2 girls in my class who got married shortly after Step 1).

Best of luck!! He will need all the support you can give him!

TriSaratops10

forgot to mention - to ask him (he may not know so he might have to ask a 2nd or 3rd yr) when they have the summer off between 2nd & 3rd yr - because what you will want to do is count for 4-6 weeks from that point (the end of 2nd yr) as his study time -- and plan for a week to take and recover from the test before getting married.  (i.e. take test Tuesday  get married Saturday)

Hope that helps and hope that makes sense!

Mbnebgen

We talked to his school and we have it planned for him to have several weeks for studying then he takes it monday june 11 then get married sat june 16. Then he starts clinical on July 2. He is going at the Osteopathic Medical School in Fort Worth. So I am not sure if they have all the same tests as MD's. I remember him studying for the MCAT, but he actually did not have to study that much and did good on it so I hope he does good on it too. I am planning on doing everything (with help from my parents) and just making sure he does nothing but study. I will not be in the same town so I hope that helps with him not trying to help with anything.

alinkchicka

I am also the fiance of a med student.  We are getting married during his 4th year before graduation.   As long as you are ok with him not being very involved right before the wedding then I would say you are probably ok.  I do think that will add a lot of stress to him right before boards though just becaus he will have bachelor party, getting measured for tux and picking it up, getting marriage licence, and many other tasks that might not be able to wait until after he takes the test. Just something to think about.

TriSaratops10

That sounds great, DOs do basically have the same tests as I (MDs) do -- just called COMLEX and their COMLEX 3 is only 1 day not 2 -- but you don't have to worry about it until intern year.

One thing to think (and have your FI talk to people about) is whether or not to take the USMLE in  addition to the COMLEX.  A lot of my friends who are in DO schools take the USMLE b/c they want to get into MD residencies.  In which case the MD residencies don't (or won't try to) know what to do with a COMLEX score since it is a different test.  So depending on the specialty your FI thinks he wants to do, it would be prudent to look into that.

The MCAT and the Steps are TOTALLY different, the MCAT was easy relative to Step1 - not nearly as much info that is brand new. Trust me.

Best of luck!!

ETA: it sounds like that should work well is what I'm saying since it is 4am and I couldn't sleep last night, hahaha.

a2joy

My FI is a 4th year med student, we are getting married a little less than a month after graduation...  about a month before he'll start residency.  He studied probably 10 hours a day in the weeks leading up to Step 1 (and he also didn't study much for the MCAT & did very well).  I think having the wedding the weekend after step 1 is cutting it close.  He's likely to be exhausted & will be of no help AT ALL for at least the month and a half before that.  If possible, I'd do it the week after that at least.

Jordapher

We're in almost exactly the same situation. I defend for my PhD in April/May (hopefully) then he takes his Step 1 early June and we're planning on getting married June 18, 2011. There seems to be a very small window in there for pulling this off but from what I've heard, it's doable.

Mbnebgen

I think ALOT of us that are working with med school schedule are get married in the same small window lol 

Jon&Janet

Hello,
   I am starting my 2nd year of medical school and I'm getting married March 12, 2011. This is my spring break.

I don't know if you have considered it, but we picked Spring Break because I didn't want to deal with taking the boards, wedding, moving for clinical years, and starting clinical years all in 2-3 weeks. We are doing our honeymoon during spring break and when I come back, I will just have to wrap up 2nd year and start the studying for the boards. The downside is we will be married for 2 months before we get to move in together.

My fiance has a full time job and lives near our venue but I am the bride so I will still do most of the planning.

If both of your spring breaks match up, I would consider it

If both of y

TriSaratops10

Hello Janet & katelyn - yay for new med students to this board!!! There are quite a few others, but I think many are on pretty tough rotations/studying/starting intern year....so on their behalf WELCOME!!!

I'm a Diagnostic Rads intern :-)

CSTK1910

Hi all! I am starting med school next week! We are planning our wedding for next summer (after 1st year) because I figured it was really the only time during the next four years where it wouldn't be ridiculously stressful to do so.

 It wouldn't be so bad since you are the one doing all the planning, but I would be really hesitant to do it so close to the boards. I know it is a really small time period to fit it in between step 1 and third year, but I know several people who put off their boards for various reasons (got sick, were unprepared, just freaked out), so I would probably want a couple weeks in there just to be safe.

riverjib

It sounds like he's taking his USMLE Step 1 exam. There is no ideal time to get married or have kids in this situation. You probably picked the best time. I didn't read the whole thread, so I don't know if he did this yet--but he should ask one of his professors.

We're getting married in the brief time between my fiance's board exams and the time I start med school. We plan to have our first child after my second year. Traditionally, rotation years aren't easy, but between M2 and M3 (and the DO equivalent) is the time for major life events like these :-)

As long as you're prepared for tough years ahead, and ENJOY them, you can take it all in stride :-)

laurmd

I just started my third year in med school.  As lynnie said, there were also about 5 people in my class who got married the few days after taking boards. If you want your FI to be involved, I would try to plan more of the wedding sooner rather than later (and it seems like you have the time)! He will be unlikey to be able to do anything, if at all, that last month prior to taking step 1.

I just got engaged about a week after I took the boards and just a piece of advice - leave him alone during that time! He doesn't need added stress, but also understand that he's going through a lot.  I know you'll be super excited about the wedding so it will definitely be hard for both of you.  Good luck to him and you

andeelwilson

Sounds like we've got lots of med students!  I'm a third year med student and to echo the sentiments of everyone else, just don't count on your fiance to be involved with the planning.  If he sits for the exam on Tuesday, he should be fine by Saturday.  I was only in a daze for a couple days after taking the exams (I took both USMLE and COMLEX).  Good luck and congrats!

Rdh2MrsOMFS

Wow!.. Can't believe he agreed to a wedding ONE week after step I boards.. My SO took his in June and it was the most stressful time ever for us... I can remember tossing and turning at night because I was so nervous for him.. I can't imagine adding wedding stress to it!.. Good luck!....

Mbnebgen

andeelwilson,

What school do you go to, if you dont mind me asking? My Fiance is at an Osteopathic school also. 

andeelwilson

mbnebgen,

I go to A.T. Still- Kirksville.  Your fiance goes to Fort Worth?  How does he like it?

Mbnebgen

andeelwilson

Ya Matt is at Fort Worth, they just call the school TCOM, it is actually, University of North Texas Health Science Center Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine. TCOM is so much shorter lol. He really likes it! They just had their test on Mon and he did better than he thought he would so he is happy and not stressed out at all. The distance between us is the hardest thing, but we both think it is the best thing for each other to get the most out of both of our schooling. When are you getting married?

bettieces

i'm just starting my 4th year. you guys will be fine! step 1 is hard and i'm sure he'll be preoccupied with studying for it, but he will definitely be able to enjoy the wedding. 3rd year is tough schedule wise so there really isn't a great time to get married 3rd year. good luck!

kappa09

I'm a second-year medical student and my fiance and I have decided to wait until after I graduate in 2013 to get married.  The advice that we've gotten from everybody is that when it comes to med school, residency, etc., there is no "good" time to get married, have kids, etc.  You just have to make it work.  That being said, we've also been told the best times to get married are between MS1 and MS2 and after graduation.  I know that I personally plan to remove myself from society for the month leading up to boards, so know that if this is when you choose to get married, your fiance may not be as involved as you would like. 

heatherreineke

Wow. I'm so glad there are so many med students here! I'm getting married next summer and hoping to go to med school in the fall. I say hoping because I am debating taking a year off. (I just posted a thread asking for advice and would love to hear your opinions! )

mcoslund

I had a question regarding getting married during medical school.  My fiance proposed at the end of July, and just started his second year of medical school (Osteopathic medicine) at the beginning of August.  We were already planning on a long(ish) engagement (maybe 2012?), but I was wondering if it would even be possible to get married while he was still in school.  If so, when is the best time?  Or will I just have to wait until he graduates?  I am very understanding about the amount of time school, and board exams, require, and am even willing to postpone a honeymoon if it would change anything.  Any thoughts that can be offered on the subject would be greatly appreciated.

Mbnebgen

I have heard it is really hard to get married while in med school. We are getting married June 16 2012  between his