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Lab lab lab... plus, drink limits for certain guests :-)

Chatting w/ labmates about the wedding, and one guy who's been in the lab for 5+ years says, "Tell the bartender that (PI) is only allowed two drinks,  Seriously, I've been to weddings with him before and he will not behave himself otherwise." 

I think this is a great idea, and am going to make a sheet w/ pictures of people who have a drink limit to give the bartender (a few others came to mind quickly... such as our a friend's girlfriend who gets loud and naked a bit too easily and my grandmother, who will start arguing politics with everyone if she gets a second glass of wine).

Just a follow-up on my bacteria always dying:  Three of us are now all in the same boat, so we each did a control over the weekend and discovered:
1) The guy who previously tested the competent cells either f*d up his assay or was trying to cover his ass (because he made this batch) by exaggerating greatly, because they are 100-fold less concentrated/ competent then he claimed they were.
2) The T4 ligase from one company is working, the one from the other company is not working nearly as well, and someone accidentally mislabeled the concentration on the buffer solutions as 5x when it was 10x, which could cause some problems except two of us assumed they were wrong and used a different batch.
So, our ligations are not as much of a problem as the competent cells are, we now think.  We're ordering a batch instead of making them ourselves to see if that helps.
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Re: Lab lab lab... plus, drink limits for certain guests :-)

  • I think that if you make some people have a limit and some not, it could cause a rift, especially if those people you are limiting are close to you. No one wants to be called an alcoholic, and they could get the impression that it is what you are saying if you limit only them. If you must have alcohol, i would say put a limit on everyone's intake, that way you won't have to worry.

    What if you limit some people, and then others end up getting plastered instead?  If it's really a concern for you, I would either not let anyone have it, or have a cut off number for everyone.

    Just my opinion. :)
  • Agree with PP.  If your guest figure out that some have a limit while some don't, it is going to get bad.  Either limit everyone, or just hope that your friends will behave.  HTH.
  • No offense, but this reads "breathalyzer" to me.

    Please don't make a list. If you have particular people you are concerned about drinking too much, ask your friends to keep an eye on them and ask your bartender to use a VERY discerning eye. Making some sort of protocol is full of good intentions, but very strange to me.
  • Please don't put a limit on your guests....your not only treating them like children, you're just looking to cause drama at your reception between guests/you/bartender/etc.

    This is one of the worst ideas I have ever read.  If you are inviting people that are going to make an ass out of themselves...maybe you should re-consider your guest list.  Otherwise, the adults that are drinking are responsible for themselves. 
  • Ok Now after reading all the comments and people bashing you, I feel I must leave a comment. I understand where you are coming from. I am marrying a guy who is from a COMPLETELY different culture than I am, so... we are getting married in Washington State. He has 26 relatives flying in from Brazil and many from San Diego, they are planning to get WASTED..... now.... this is a problem.... I have decided not to brake out our booze until after our first dance that way after dinner those that think "this is lame" wander off... the alcohol isn't going to be out in the open or even brought out until after dinner, after the toast and after the first dance..... then the party shall begin... there are ways to get around it, feed people hearty food first, then they won't be able to get drunk as fast, also if you do beer and wine people won't get drunk as fast as if they are drinking Hard A....
    Just thoughts, I feel for ya,


  • Agree with above. Don't do it. Beside what has been said before, think of how pissed you would be if you were the bartender. Being told they have to cut people off and remember who is who. If you can't trust your guests, don't have alcohol. Or, let your guests be adults and trust that they will control themselves. At the end of they day, they will be the ones looking ridiculous (assuming they do lose control) not you.
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  • First of all - I'm glad you figured out some of the issues with your ligations.  Human error is usually the issue.

    Second - we have a 'problem person' who will be at our wedding, too.  I'm not giving his picture to the bartender, or anything like that, though I have to admit I briefly wondered if I could, and tell the bartender to only give him non-alcoholic drinks after so long...but it was brief and I knew it was a bad idea.  Instead, we're having his brother keep an eye on him.

    I don't think you should have a limit for someone, but I do understand that there are certain people that don't know how to act.  Most people are fine, but I know from experience that MY person is irresponsible and has gotten fall-down drunk at funerals, so he needs someone to watch him. 
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  • Ditto nyrek.  You really shouldn't set a hard and fast drink limit for certain people.  By this age, people should know how to behave themselves, and if they don't, it will reflect badly on them, not you.  I honestly think you'll be so happy on your wedding day that even if they get a little rowdy, you probably won't notice.  Telling certain people they can't have more than a couple drinks comes across as very judgemental

    Tell the bartenders that you have a couple people who can get out of hand and ask them to keep an eye on them.  It's part of their job to make sure they don't overserve people.  And since their tip will be coming from YOU and not the guests, they have no reason to not do their job properly and follow your wishes.
  • Our bartenders won't serve to people who are out of control, that's their rules not mine, but I was relieved to hear that.
    I wouldn't say do it for specific people, but just make sure your bartenders know they should use their discretion on serving

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  • I love you guys!  Thanks!

    Seriously glad I posted this, it was such a terrible late-night sleep-deprived converstation/idea that I was worried for a moment today that it might actually be okay to do, and wtf???

    So, yes, I will point out my PI to the bartender (or have a BM do it) do try to avoid legal issues, but other than that, everyone will be able to drink to their hearts' content... and I will trust my more reasonable friends to keep everyone in line
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  • Wow. You think it's a great idea to parent everyone that attends your wedding?

    Sounds like it's going to be a blast.

  • A sheet with peoples pictures with a drink limit?? Are you kidding me? I do not drink and don't really care for people who get sloppy drunk but I just think that is ridiculous. I would suggest letting the bartender know before hand that he should cut people off if they get out of hand. Also if its just his one guy I would just let him know before hand; make a scene and you will be asked to leave. Simple.

  • Curimk- exactly!  The guy I'm concerned about is from a similar background, it's a cultural thing and while I don't care, my FI's family didn't even want alcohol!  We'd already settled on just beer and wine before this point came up, and because of PREVIOUS LEGAL ISSUES we will have to do something about enforcing a liquor limit with this one guy.

    Everyone else- stop bashing me and read the entire thread before posting the same lame cynical comments.  Kthnxbye.
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  • Also, just to point out what I thought was obvious: "PI"= Everyone's boss.  I therefore don't have any guests attended who know him well enough to keep him reined in but are not his employees and therefore would be capable of reining him in.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_lab-lab-lab-plus-drink-limits-certain-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:566efc6c-95f7-4f5a-8ea3-bb74f36254fePost:aa59911c-f1c6-4697-a8c9-992730a1f48b">Re: Lab lab lab... plus, drink limits for certain guests :-)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, just to point out what I thought was obvious: "PI"= Everyone's boss.  I therefore don't have any guests attended who know him well enough to keep him reined in but are not his employees and therefore would be capable of reining him in.
    Posted by nefariousmango[/QUOTE]

    I didn't really think that through, I suppose that would be a bit tough.  My PI is pretty laid-back, so we all get along with him well (although not like it sounds like YOUR PI likes to get along with people!) and I think my co-workers would be able to say something, but I can see how that wouldn't work in other environments.  I guess my best advice is to give the bartender a general heads-up about your concerns.  Like other people said, it's in his best interest not to over-serve him anyway, so I'm sure if he knows someone might be a potential legal nightmare, he'd be willing to exercise more caution than usual.

     Maybe you can have one of your co-workers on the lookout, so if the boss starts getting out of hand, your co-worker can discreetly point him out to the bartender, in a 'Hey, I think that guy over there should probably not have any more' kind of way?  It's awkward, to be sure, but it's better than someone getting fondled at your reception.  And then you don't have to give the bartender a mug shot!
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  • Bartenders should be able to cut people off when they get too drunk - not at a certain drink limit. A lot of wedding bars have watered-down drinks anyway.
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  • Most bar tenders will cut people off if they are being acting drunk. If they don't they stand to lose their license from the state.

  • I agree with PP.   I think it would be enough to just tell the bartender to keep an eye out in general for guests getting too drunk/rowdy, just as a bartender would do in a regular bar.  They should have no problem cutting people off, especially if you tell them ahead of time that you expect it if necessary.

  • edited March 2010
    okay so as someone who works in a bar....while you think this is a great idea probably not...first you are putting the bartender in a pretty ackward position, especially when that person comes up after your two drink limit and the person isnt even tipsy yet...you are gonna have to probably hear about it from said person at the wedding...(ie why wont the bartender serve me?) trust me people dont like being cut off but it is part of the job. and any bartender worth it willl do this...if you are gonna put restrictions on people well they will find out...

    secondly every bartender in the world KNOWS when to cut someone off...most people know the difference between a bar and a wedding...if you are worried about people over indulging specifically let the bartender know that you dont want drunk guests in general...but to give them flashcards....are you kidding me? i would be embrassed for your guests...think how they would feel if they found out...you have to choose in my opinion between having a bar or not .you cant single people out at your wedding especially when they are taking the time to come enjoy your celebration
  • okay so i have caught up a bit...maybe to slow it down you have a short cocktail hour (if you are going for hard liquor pick a specific drink...something that doesnt have a high concretation of alcohol in it like a mixer...not a martini! maybe someting that will match your wedding colors...like vodka lemonade or sex on the beach and have the bartender make them single shots in tall glasses...)say for 30 minutes, enough time for each guest to get a drink... and then when you sit down for dinner place a bottle of wine at each table and close the bar....then open it again once the dancing starts...make sure that WATER is readily available!  as in a pitcher to be put at the tables or something along those lines...people are much more likely to drink it when they dont have to wait in line for it...and trust me we do know when to stop serving and can do it descretely...i have served people straight cran when they have ordered a vodka cran before...and they dont notice...(of course i dont charge them) and then kindly instruct their friends to escort them out of the bar once they have finished....the idea of a bouncer is a good it will probably ease your mind more than anything else will and let your bartender focus on keeping your guests happy(cause pausing to check if this person has a limit will slow down the line and that makes people grumpy) i hope this was helpful.
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