Students

Is it just me?

Sorry, I'm sure someone has brought this up before, but it is just something that is driving me crazy!

I'm an undergrad and whenever my classes find out I'm engaged and getting married next year, half of the class looks at me like a freak and the other half asks me a million questions about my FI and my wedding,  It makes me insane.  The people that look at me weird are clearly judging because I'm "too young to get married" while the others are prying for information about my wedding when they don't even know my name!

How do ya'll deal with this?

Re: Is it just me?

  • Ikr! There are some people that I talk to for a few min. before class once in awhile who want to know everything and think they are being invited to the wedding when I barley know them! (and they never met my FI)! I don't mind talking about it at all since I'm so excited but I don't want to offend everyone when they find out they aren't coming. They know we want a small intimate wedding so you would think they would understand that only very close friends and family will be invited. The good thing is I will be graduating this May 2013 and the wedding isn't untill 2014 so we probably won't keep track of eachother anyways. As for the other side of things, I find that people who do not understand have either never been in love or a serious relationship. I think its just best to brush it off, ignore their comments and just embrace being engaged! I also think having my friends and family's support definetly helps tons! :) 

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  • Ignore it.  I have the same problem.  People are always super curious when they find out I'm engaged.  Then again, there's a significant number of people at my school who are also engaged, so it's not like I'm the only one.  

    I don't ever get negative comments, just surprised looks from strangers at work sometimes when they see my ring and ask if it's an engagement ring.  Then I only get the looks if they keep going and ask how old I am.  
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  • staar987staar987 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2012
    It happens to me too. I am currently at a junior college and will be transferring to a university next fall. So the majority of my classmates are 17, 18, or 19. They don't realize that I am 27 and a returning student. So I just ignore it and let them think I'm almost 10 years younger than I am. At least I get something out of it! :)

     

  • Don't worry about it! People react the same way to me. I am getting married next summer but won't be graduating for at least two years!
  • I am only 21, so I was worried about that reaction. But everyone that I have met is happy and excited for me. A lot of people are already engaged/married, so I fit right in.
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  • I've only told a couple people so far (we're waiting till Thanksgiving to make an official announcement), and everyone I've told has freaked. Most of my friends have never been in a serious relationship, so everyone thinks I'm crazy and/or doomed to divorce. It's really discouraging. I was expecting people to be happy for me, and so far the only person who's been supportive is my younger sister. 

    There is some "silver lining" I guess; my ring is non-traditional (it was his great-grandmother's) and is set with sapphires. Most people don't realize that it's an engagement ring, and I haven't had any strangers stop me or give me a lecture.
  • I alienated a whole class of freshmen by telling them that I was married, no I am not a freshmen.  People do ask me how old I am though.  I don't let it bother me, I know my marriage is right for me and I don't need to justify it to anyone.  I usually don't tell people unless they ask.  I wear my ring on my right hand so people don't realize that I am married most of the time.  

     

    Just brush it off.  Or you can horrify them and say something like "Oh well the contract stipulated that we had to get married by this date so we are engaged."  ;)

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • I'm 25 in a class with 19 year olds. When they found out I was engaged last year, the questions were relentless. And the lead-up to the wedding was awful, so many questions. Just don't talk about the wedding at school and people will get the idea.
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  • I remember in one class one person found out I was engaged, and all of a sudden I had a cluster of 10 girls around me asking about my wedding. It was wild! In most of my classes there were a few engaged people though. My program had a mix of students right out of high school and adult learners though, so that was probably why.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2012
    I ignore it mostly. I had one guy say something to the effect of "why would your do that? You're locked in forever!". I replied with a snarky "Exactly," because I WANT to be with him forever. Usually I don't say anything about it. It never really comes up when I'm talking in class. One class knows about it only because I asked my professor if I could take the final early. Then, my prof mentioned it in class when talking about our final. That's the only reason they know. it's just not their business.
  • I get it sometimes to, I usually dont say anything unless people ask when they see my ring. But I get the same reaction as most. I just sit in class listen to people say cant wait till im 21 or man i got wasted last night... makes me want to get done faster since thats not where my priorities are any more.
  • Not just you. I go to a small christian college and everyone is OBSESSED with engagements and marriage.  They have a campus joke "ring by spring or you get your money back!" because so many people get engaged here.
  • Not just you. I go to a small christian college and everyone is OBSESSED with engagements and marriage.  They have a campus joke "ring by spring or you get your money back!" because so many people get engaged here.
  • KaySea6213KaySea6213 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    Definitely not just you. I'm a sophomore at a major party university. When people hear I'm getting married they generally freak out because they enjoy the single life and how could I not want to be single for the experience?!

    I actually had two different managers at the university bookstore respond inappropriately when I mentioned the wedding. One said I was "just a baby" and that it's a "bad idea." The other said it was "cute" because he was engaged at 19 too (though it never ended in marriage) and later asked "you know divorces are expensive, right?"

    I try to smile and ignore it, knowing that my FI and I have been together for 6 years and are deeply in love. It's hard to take the high road when people are making your life-changing decision into a joke, but you just have to realize that, though that person may understand some day, their reaction can't change anything about your relatiosnhip or your wedding.
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  • I'm so glad I'm not the only one either!  I got engaged pretty young (senior in high school), but we knew we weren't making it "official" for a few years.  I remember when my French teacher noticed my ring, she gave me a lecture in front of the whole class about how she wished that young women would explore their options and enjoy their lives before getting married.  I was too mortified to express that I knew what I wanted in life, and that every word people gave me in dissent just made me even more sure of our decision!  Anyway, two years later, my classmates in college always react with a huge hoopla every semester when they figure it out.  Mostly they want to know how long we've been together, when we're tying the knot, how he proposed, blah blah blah.  And they're very excited about it, but they can't help but to tell me how they couldn't imagine settling down at this age and how they don't have their lives together at all.  I think the huge reactions are just because they haven't experienced that type of certainty in their lives yet, and simply can't comprehend that kind of committment at the age of 20 or so.  But so far they have all wished the best!
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