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Pre-engagement relationship questions
Because I'm very curious...
When did you start thinking that your boyfriend/FI/DH was the person that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Was he thinking the same thing? Did you take different amounts of time to start thinking this? How did you maintain your patience?
Tell me everything 
How long were you together? How old were you? How long did it take you to come to that conclusion?
How long were you together? How old were you? How long did it take you to come to that conclusion?This discussion has been closed.
Re: Pre-engagement relationship questions
We met in November of 2004, he claims he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me then. We started dating in January 2007. He proposed in December of 2009. I think I was convinced somewhere around September of 2009
(I am currently 25, he is 30) We get married in 38 days
Pro Engagement Pics ~ Pro Wedding Pics
[QUOTE]My fiance and I met and started dating when we were both 16. He was my first boyfriend, and I think from the very beginning I knew there was something very special about us... but I was too scared to admit it because I was so afraid of losing him. Not because of anything he did or said - he was amazing from day one and still is! - but out of sheer paranoia. Then in June of 2007, when we had been together for 8 months, we were joking around about the future and I referred to myself as his girlfriend in the story. He turned to me and said "...wouldn't you be my wife by then?" My heart just melted. So I think he and I both knew pretty early on... we just didn't verbalize it for a while :) Because we were so young, we had to wait a while to get engaged. That killed me. I used to want to wait until we were seniors in college to make it official, but it bothered me that I knew he was the man I was spending the rest of my life with but I didn't get to call him my fiance, so he popped the question in January 2010! Of course, now we have to wait to get married until somewhere around 2014 for various reasons... but I'm more ok with that wait :) Out of curiosity, why did you ask these questions? <strong>Just being nosy :)
</strong>Posted by birdie1020[/QUOTE]
and where are you in school; how old are you, etc?
Pro Engagement Pics ~ Pro Wedding Pics
I've been dating my FI since I was 15. We've been together for over 5 years now. I know this sounds strange but I knew he was the "one" from the start. The way I knew was simple: we've had more than our fair share of fights and when I thought about breaking it off, I absolutely couldn't because I couldn't imagine my life without him.
FI treats me like a princess and we sure do still have our fights (and some days he drives me nuts!), but at the end of the day, he's my best friend and I couldn't imagine spending the next 65 years with anyone but him!
Edited to add that I will be almost 22 when we get married and he will be 24. I will be graduating 2 weeks before the wedding and FI graduated in 2010.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre-engagement relationship questions : and where are you in school; how old are you, etc?
Posted by SteveandKris[/QUOTE]
I am turning 21 in October and graduating with my degree in English and educational studies in December. My fiance is already 21 (his birthday is in February) and in the process of joining the Marines; he should be done with boot camp around the same time that I graduate! By the time we get married, we will be 23 or 24 (he'll probably already be 24 - we're only the same age for 4 months out of the year).
[QUOTE]Thanks for replying! I ask because of my relationship with my boyfriend right now. We've been dating for a year and a half and we're both in our second year of college, so there's definitely no rush or anything. I am almost completely positive that I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I also know that that could change in the next few years (I don't think it will at all, I just think that it's "possible"). <strong>He's a little bit different. I have previous relationships to compare this to, while he does not.</strong> For that and a few other reasons, I think that he will take a bit longer to think about our relationship past college, etc. I'm fine with this, because we are young and haven't been together all that long, because he's a guy and I think that he doesn't think as far into the future, and because I can't imagine being happier with anyone else. All that said, I'm terribly impatient :)
Posted by SilverLining1[/QUOTE]
<div>I thought it was interesting that you mentioned this. Like I said above, my fiance was my first boyfriend. I wasn't his first girlfriend, though. While I do think that we both more or less realized how we felt around the same time, I do know that every now and then I used to wonder how I could know he was the one if I had never been with anyone else. But whenever I told him, he assured me that our relationship was very different from any other he'd been in, and that he was confident that what we had was special. </div><div>
</div><div>So if your boyfriend does go through the same thought process, giving him your perspective might help. It helped me! But, of course, he has to realize it on his own first :)</div>
At some point before we started dating, we fell in love with each other but we didn't say anything right away - we both thought that the other thought we were 'just friends'. So I knew that I could marry him, and would, if given the chance, but I didn't think it would happen. We started talking about marriage pretty early on in the relationship (after a month or so), but he didn't propose until we had been dating for 5 years, and I didn't expect it because he'd always made a big deal about waiting until we finished grad school.
FI says that he knew in our senior year of HS that I was the one he wanted to marry. I took a little more time, but that's not because I wasn't totally in love with him, just a little more cautious. After he was there for me during some really trying times when we were both 18, I knew he was the one.
FI and I have had MANY extensive talks about marriage for a long time - probably since we were 18. We talked about how much we wanted to get married, and about a year ago we began to talk about the details, such as children, finances, religion (we're interfaith), etc. FI actually confided in me after we got engaged that he felt we had been engaged for a long time and that he was just making it "official." I guess it's because we were so set on getting married for so long.
I think FI proposed at the perfect time. We're still young and planning on a two year engagement (I'll be 23, he'll have just turned 24), but I think we were really ready to get engaged at that point. It's funny, because until a month or two before he proposed, I wasn't really thinking about getting engaged. It wasn't really the main thing on my mind. That's why I think it was so perfect - I wasn't waiting around, impatiently waiting for him to propose. But when he did propose, it felt right.
People give us a lot of grief over our age, but I still feel like the timing is perfect.
[QUOTE]FI and I started dating in our sophomore year of HS. We've been together for five years and will be together for seven before we finally tie the knot. He proposed last November when I was a week away from 21, and he was already 21. FI says that he knew in our senior year of HS that I was the one he wanted to marry. I took a little more time, but that's not because I wasn't totally in love with him, just a little more cautious. After he was there for me during some really trying times when we were both 18, I knew he was the one. FI and I have had MANY extensive talks about marriage for a long time - probably since we were 18. We talked about how much we wanted to get married, and about a year ago we began to talk about the details, such as children, finances, religion (we're interfaith), etc. FI actually confided in me after we got engaged that he felt we had been engaged for a long time and that he was just making it "official." I guess it's because we were so set on getting married for so long. I think FI proposed at the perfect time. We're still young and planning on a two year engagement (I'll be 23, he'll have just turned 24), but I think we were really ready to get engaged at that point. It's funny, because until a month or two before he proposed, I wasn't really thinking about getting engaged. It wasn't really the main thing on my mind. That's why I think it was so perfect - I wasn't waiting around, impatiently waiting for him to propose. But when he did propose, it felt right. <strong>People give us a lot of grief over our age, but I still feel like the timing is perfect. </strong>
Posted by BunnyChii[/QUOTE]
<div>I'm so tired of getting grief about it, too!! My fiance and I also had many long, in-depth talks about marriage and the rest of our lives over the course of our relationship before getting engaged. I wished people would look at how long we've been together, as well as how happy and stable we've been through that time, before judging us for our age.</div>
He was my first (and only) long-term relationship and I was his second. Everyone told me the "honeymoon" period of a relationship lasts about 6 months to a year. I think ours lasted over 2 years. We've had a lot of talks along the way about our relationship and where we were headed. We also talked a lot about what we would do about any major problems that developed between us.
We started talking about marriage probably within a year of living together but didn't get engaged until the beginning of this year. We're now 30 and 31. Even though we were sure of each other from the beginning, we wanted to finish getting our degrees before getting married. Since we both worked while going to school, it took us a little longer to get to this point.
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we started talking about getting married about 2.5 years into our relationship. Boyfriend took 1.5 years to propose.. he proposed on our 4 year anniversary. I wanted to get engaged 2.5 years into it.. he wanted to wait obviously until 4 years. lol. But it was worth it.
We started dating when I was 16, he was 27 (it was rough at first, but both our parents came around to it, and our families love us both)
got engaged when I was 20, he was 31. Getting married when i'm 21 and he'll be 32.
he wanted to wait until things were in place.. i'll be out of school in a few weeks.. we'll be moving in and i'll be getting a job.. and then we'll have our wedding.
Rachel & Jared est. November 11, 2006
We just knew. I knew he was perfect in every way. I was sick shortly after we met (and when I'm sick. I'm near death pretty much thanks to a shot immune system), and he took care of me no matter what. He would let me sleep on his couch (before I moved in) and let me stay the night so he could keep me safe. I think I knew the night we met that I wanted to be with him for forever (I was at a small party at his house, and we had 'met' in the parking lot of a store and I was just hoping he was single, cause if he wasn't i was going to be very, very mad). We did the whole lock eyes and stare..everything dissapeared ahaha. I think thats when I knew. I dunno about him. But when he told me he loved me, I was ga-ga from then on, and I still am :]
We've been together 8 years last month, and got engaged 8 years to the day that we met. He actually proposed saying that "8 years ago today, I met you". We started talking about the future our Sr year in HS when we were looking at colleges. His family was not supportive of him wanting to attend college, he's a 1st generation; but mine was the complete opposite-I grew up knowing that after HS, comes college. ( If you know what I mean.) So, when we decided to attend the same school, he said that he was happy we would experience this all together and grow old together. (Cue "Grow old with you" song from the Wedding Singer..)
Now, we're finishing up our Bachelor's and I'll continue on towards my Master's next year. He'll be done with school (for now) and start his career. (In his field, a master's is not required/necessary) (lucky duck!) We're getting married at the end of the year
ETA: tl;dr - We met second semester freshman year of university. Dated for almost 2.5 years when he proposed. He proposed at 5:30am under the stars of the Mojave desert.
I met my FI second semester freshman year of university. We were taking an Introduction to Acting class together. My first memory of him is during an activity where I pointed at him and yelled "ASIAN!" and his first memory of me was me sitting in the front of the class playing Pokemon.
At the time we were both in relationships. His would go sour in about a year, it would take two for me.
When we started dating I had just turned 20 and he was 19. The relationship started with a "Well we both like each other, so do you want to try going out? See how it goes?" To this day we both joke that we have yet to progress out of the "trying out" phase. (We never said "Yeah, you know what? This works. We're totally official.") haha
We never really talked about marriage. I think we both avoided the subject because it was complicated. The complication came from the fact that he is not an American citizen and I feared that I may marry him just to keep him in the country. (I fooled myself into believing I was "in love" with a man for three years before I left him and got with my FI. I didn't really trust myself.) I have to say that we talked about marriage maybe 3-4 times, and did come to the conclusion that yes, we could see ourselves married with children.
Realizing I was just putting my heart on lock-down, I eased up on myself. I put myself at ease and knew the facts of my relationship. I was happy, I was in love (for real), and I had the greatest guy suited for me by my side.
On April 8th, just 12days shy of our 2.5yr anniversary, the (then) BF was throwing out ideas of what to do for our "date day." The week before or so we decided that this Friday we were going on a date. He wanted to go to the restaraunt we went to on our first date. I wanted to get out of the usual area we hang around (restaraunt is in said area). He thought snowboarding would be fun, I didn't want to wake up early (at 6am while we were talking plans at 2am). I jokingly threw out "Vegas" and he laughed and agreed. Then we decided that we were actually going to do this crazy impromptu trip. We went home, packed overnight bags, booked a stay at a hotel on the strip, and hopped in the car for a 4hr drive.
At the start of the drive my BF told me that we should stop in the desert to look at the stars since we rarely get to see them from the city. I grew up in the country and always loved starlight so I was excited to do this.
Around 5am we finally find a spot to pull off the freeway that was far enough from the surrounding towns in the Mojave. We stood out in the cold and just watched the stars.After about thirty minutes of lovey-dovey-ness and my picking my nose thinking how dorky my BF is he gets on his knees. I'm thinking "What did you drop? Why are you down there?" and that is when the BF became the FI.
We hadn't talked about marriage in months, so I was not expecting a proposal at all. And from what I found out, he didn't know how he was going to proposal, only that he was. Spontaneous and a bit awkward, I couldn't have thought of a more perfect way for us. We hopped back in the car and completed our drive. We celebrated our engagement in Las Vegas.
BTW, I also saw two shooting stars while we were before the proposal
And there is the sweetness of my story. There are many funny tidbits that are minor details, great ones being excluded from the description of the proposal unfortunately haha.
Man this was long. Sorry guys, it was my first time writing something like this out. I need to work on a condensed soup version.
My Newlywed Blog
I met DH when I was 19 and he was 25. I knew he was the one for about a month before he propose and I honestly didn't expect it would happen so soon, but it worked for us. 6 months in he proposed and we were married a year later. I honestly think it's different for everyone, but you definitely both have to be on the same page an know you want the same things out of life. Good luck!
Patience is hard! He proposed about 4 1/2 years after I knew I was going to marry him, and about a month after he asked my father's permission. (which was another lesson in patience..)
after three months he texted me asking what kind of ring i would like. i was sooo excited! after that we went through some troubles but made it through. even with some pain left behind (he didn't cheat) i could still see him as the father of my children and as my wonderful loving husband. so after many months passed, September 1st came and he knelt down on one knee and asked the words i couldn't wait to hear! I love you, will you marry me?? i said YES!!!!!!!!
our wedding is set for October 29th 2011 and we are sooo happy! when we met i was 18 and he was 21. we'll be 20 and 23 when we get married. we've been together for a year and a half and i've never been so in love!!
In 10th grade we had English class together and due to alphabetical seating we got set next to each other... He's a R & im a W. Our friendship started from notepassing, and him cheating(with my permission of course) off of my english work. LoL I had liked him ALL semester and was given up hope, hes the shy type around girls i guess, but he finally asked me out March 27th of 2004. I was his first g/f... unless 8th grade half hand holding counts... and he was my first boyfriend of over 1 week. We dated all threw high school and for a year after graduation. We had started taking classes at the local community college in town, but he eventually stopped to make money roofing with his dad. In 2007 we went our separate way for a little while. We both knew we loved each other, but at the same time had that "well i've been dating you since i was 15, who am i to know what real love is" attitude. During our time apart we both saw some other people, but still kept in contact. After me and the guy i was seeing called things off, me and my FI started spending more time together again.
After 6 months of that we realized we really wanted to be with the other and Started dating again April 2010. We got our first apartment together right after turning 22, and we are about to be buying a house in September.
The engagement was May 4 of this year, and we are planning a March 2013 wedding. I figured with work, school, and buying a new house... adding a wedding would be too much to handle.. so we are taking our time and enjoying our long engagement.
I had marriage on the mind since December, but im not sure when it really clicked in his head that he really wanted to do it. He had mentioned to his parents in March that he "was thinking of asking me", but nothing serious. When it came time to get a ring, he went to the store by himself on a Monday, and gave it to me that Wednesday.
I love hearing other peoples stories! what a great post!