Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question

BusyBritt

Hi!  I'll be getting married a few weeks after graduating from med school and am not sure if I should use my new title (Dr or MD) in any wedding stuff, like the ceremony programs.  I don't want to ignore it, but I don't want my graduation to overshadow our wedding day - has anyone else dealt with this?  Thanks!

LauraT25

Personally I wouldn't, I don't like that it differentiates you from your husband (who I'm assuming doesn't also have an MD) and comes off a little pretentious.  No offense, but I would snicker internally if I saw, "Sue Doe, M.D." on a ceremony program, and I also don't think it would be aesthetically pleasing.

BunnyChii

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:73b96eb1-82ce-4ea9-950a-0beb19aba08a">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally I wouldn't, I don't like that it differentiates you from your husband (who I'm assuming doesn't also have an MD) and comes off a little pretentious.  No offense, but I would snicker internally if I saw, "Sue Doe, M.D." on a ceremony program, and I also don't think it would be aesthetically pleasing.
Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I'd side eye it. Plus, it looks a little too formal for a wedding. (Contradictory, right?) I mean that I don't need to know your credentials when I'm going to see you get married. </div>

jferlenda

I agree with PP.  

I COMPLETELY respect people like you who have put in so much extra time and money into earning those extra titles, but unless you're taking out my kidney I don't necessarily care about your credentials.  I mean, I wouldn't put "Certified in Elementary and Special Education" under my name on my programs or invites.  I think you should be very proud of what you've accomplished, but I don't think it's really appropriate to incorporate into your wedding.

And congrats by the way!

birdie1020

I agree with the PPs about the invitations and programs - I would laugh too. The only part of the wedding where I could see this potentially coming up would be at the end of the ceremony when you are pronounced husband and wife; I know that at my parents' wedding, they were announced as "Second Lieutenant and Mrs." rather than "Mr. and Mrs." because my father was in the Marines.

If you wanted to acknowledge your recent accomplishment (congratulations, by the way!), maybe you could be announced like this? "Mr. and Dr."? It might sound a bit funny, but if it makes you feel good, it makes you feel good. I also know that some might feel that this obscures the fact that you've gone from Miss to Mrs., but that all depends on how you feel about the Miss/Ms./Mrs. debate.

Again, congratulations and good luck!

SteveandKris

I'm graduating from Med school 15 days before the wedding (what'd you match in BTW)

The only place we're using my new doctor-ness is on the chair signs on the sweetheart table - they will be facing the wall most of the time, but its cute...

FI wanted to scream it from the rooftops because he's a proud of me, but we're not...

LauraT25

I DO think it's something to be proud of, and I think it's fine to use your title in other situations (or more subtly at the wedding, as PPs have suggested).  And it's not something I would seriously judge - I wouldn't leave your wedding gossiping about how tacky it was that you had your title on your programs.  I just think it would probably be better to leave it off.

SteveandKris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:73b96eb1-82ce-4ea9-950a-0beb19aba08a">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally I wouldn't, <strong>I don't like that it differentiates you from your husband</strong> (who I'm assuming doesn't also have an MD) and comes off a little pretentious.  No offense, but I would snicker internally if I saw, "Sue Doe, M.D." on a ceremony program, and I also don't think it would be aesthetically pleasing.
Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]

If he is graduating with you, or has graduated from med school - I might consider having you annouced as "The Doctors Smith" but only if its both of you...

(I think its weird that its ok for the guy to be annouced as Dr and Mrs, but we'd side eye Mr and Dr)

LauraT25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:fbb3fb04-27fb-405f-abce-788288593621">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question : If he is graduating with you, or has graduated from med school - I might consider having you annouced as "The Doctors Smith" but only if its both of you... (<strong>I think its weird that its ok for the guy to be annouced as Dr and Mrs, but we'd side eye Mr and Dr</strong>)
Posted by SteveandKris[/QUOTE]

FWIW, I would side-eye both equally.  I think it's fine for things like address labels and such, but not at the wedding since it's about two people as a couple and just seems odd to me in that situation.  However, the announcement of 'Dr. and Mrs.' or 'Dr. and Mr.' wouldn't bug me at all, just things in print like ceremony programs or invitations.  Part of the reason is that I think it will look funny on paper.

SteveandKris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:7edd7e9e-93f3-4d5c-ab27-3ce12ede4f0a">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question : FWIW, I would side-eye both equally.  I think it's fine for things like address labels and such, but not at the wedding since it's about two people as a couple and just seems odd to me in that situation.  However, the announcement of 'Dr. and Mrs.' or 'Dr. and Mr.' wouldn't bug me at all, just things in print like ceremony programs or invitations. <strong> Part of the reason is that I think it will look funny on paper.
</strong>Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]

I agree, I wouldn't have it on paper, but if we both had just finished school, I'd have us annouced as the "Drs R" - but we're just being annouced as Mr and Mrs...

LauraT25

SteveandKris, you could do either!  I would be so excited about getting my degree, I would definitely consider being announced as "Dr. and Mr."  Maybe you can have the officiant announce you as one way, and the DJ/emcee announce you the other way?  IDK.  The phrase 'Mr. and Mrs.' gets me all warm and fuzzy, but I'd also be really proud to hear 'Dr.' (if it was me OR my husband)...tough call!

alliesono

My fiance is getting his doctorate two weeks before our wedding. I left the decision of how we would be introduced (Dr. and Mrs. X or Mr. and Mrs. X) up to him, and he chose to leave his professional title off. I say go with what you're more comfortable with. MDs sometimes use their professional titles socially, but I think it's really what YOU prefer.

*edited for grammar

SteveandKris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:4b3d07b8-bad6-496d-9f1b-5745008db4ac">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance is getting his doctorate two weeks before our wedding. I left the decision of how we would be introduced (Dr. and Mrs. X or Mr. and Mrs. X) up to him, and he chose to leave his professional title off. I say go with what you're more comfortable with. MDs sometimes use their professional titles socially, but I think it's really what YOU prefer. *edited for grammar
Posted by alliesono[/QUOTE]

Correct me if I'm wrong, Laura, but I didn't think PhDs used "Dr" socially? 

LauraT25

Some PhD's use 'doctor' socially.  Most of the PhDs I know don't, but they are all science PhDs so I don't know if it depends on the discipline.  Proper etiquette dictates not using the title socially, but it's really about what the person prefers in my experience.

The only PhDs I know who insist on using the title socially are my grandparents, who have PhDs in English.  So I don't know whether it's a humanities vs science thing, an age thing, or just a random outlier.

SteveandKris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:7c50f871-40dd-4b13-b798-114e83e181ec">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Some PhD's use 'doctor' socially.  Most of the PhDs I know don't, but they are all science PhDs so I don't know if it depends on the discipline.  <strong>Proper etiquette dictates not using the title socially, but it's really about what the person prefers in my experience</strong>. The only PhDs I know who insist on using the title socially are my grandparents, who have PhDs in English.  So I don't know whether it's a humanities vs science thing, an age thing, or just a random outlier.
Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]

I love when a patient's family rushes in (when i'm on the ambulance) and goes "oh, i'm a doctor" and you ask what kind and they respond with "well, i'm actually a dentist" and then I typically act like a brat and ask how well they think i'm handling their mom's abdominal pain.

LauraT25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:49b49c98-6d8c-4449-b6d4-2758095ed5bc">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question : I love when a patient's family rushes in (when i'm on the ambulance) and goes "oh, i'm a doctor" and you ask what kind and they respond with "well, i'm actually a dentist" and then I typically act like a brat and ask how well they think i'm handling their mom's abdominal pain.
Posted by SteveandKris[/QUOTE]

HAHAHA. I might do something like that (in a non-emergency situation, of course) just to be obnoxious in the future. I can see it working well if, say, someone is coughing at the dinner table - I will jump up and shout "Have no fear!  I'm a doctor!!!"

But seriously, I can't believe someone would seriously try to pull their DDS as credentials in a setting like that.  Eyeroll. 

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:7c50f871-40dd-4b13-b798-114e83e181ec">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Some PhD's use 'doctor' socially.  Most of the PhDs I know don't, but they are all science PhDs so I don't know if it depends on the discipline.  Proper etiquette dictates not using the title socially, but it's really about what the person prefers in my experience. The only PhDs I know who insist on using the title socially are my grandparents, who have PhDs in English.  So I don't know whether it's a humanities vs science thing, an age thing, or just a random outlier.
Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]

<div>It definitely depends on the discipline.  We actually have a prof at school who HATES when students call him Dr. SoandSo.  He's science too, but it makes me giggle. :)</div>

SteveandKris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:a41f1c63-d909-4664-893a-53851a9e064e">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question : HAHAHA. I might do something like that (in a non-emergency situation, of course) just to be obnoxious in the future. I can see it working well if, say, someone is coughing at the dinner table - I will jump up and shout "Have no fear!  I'm a doctor!!!" But seriously, <strong>I can't believe someone would seriously try to pull their DDS as credentials in a setting like that.  Eyeroll. 
</strong>Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]

I'm a huge believer that if you want to pull the doctor card, you better be getting in my truck and taking command of the patient.  I'm not taking advice/orders from someone who is not my medical director - you want to play, you're going for a ride (and I'll be making it as bumpy as possible)

TriSaratops10

My H and are both MDs and the only time we used it was at the reception we were announced as the Doctors NewLastName

oh and my zip hoodie I wore getting ready I had put "Doctors NewLastName, est 11.13.2010. If both of us hadn't been docs I wouldn't have used it, I agree w/the PP.

OP -- what'd you match into???

whereismymind32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:fbb3fb04-27fb-405f-abce-788288593621">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question : If he is graduating with you, or has graduated from med school - I might consider having you announced as "The Doctors Smith" but only if its both of you...<strong> (I think its weird that its ok for the guy to be announced as Dr and Mrs, but we'd side eye Mr and Dr)</strong>
Posted by SteveandKris[/QUOTE]


I think that if you're a doctor, you should announce it that way- man or woman. You worked hard to earn it and it is a major part of who you are.  I don't think you should be ashamed that you have a higher degree than your significant other. If it "sounds funny" saying doctor second, announce "Dr. and Mr." Tradition dictates saying the man's name first, but traditionally women didn't go to med school either.  I do agree that you don't need to put M.D. on the programs, but calling you "Doctor" shouldn't be a faux-pas. You're a doctor!

SteveandKris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_med-studentnew-grad-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:baeae2a0-ff06-4e00-bb99-dd337201473ePost:bf3b9f69-0af3-43de-8b9e-44099565c05e">Re: Med Student/New Grad Wedding Question</a>:
[QUOTE]My H and are both MDs and the only time we used it was at the reception we were announced as the Doctors NewLastName oh and my zip hoodie I wore getting ready I had put "Doctors NewLastName, est 11.13.2010. If both of us hadn't been docs I wouldn't have used it, I agree w/the PP. <strong>OP -- what'd you match into???
</strong>Posted by TriSaratops10[/QUOTE]

Tops - OP hasn't been back....