Students

Can we get married if I go to med school and he's in undergrad?

Hello everyone

It's my first time posting on a site like this so hope I get some good responses... Thanks in advance for your help!

My fiance and I are in our late and mid 20's, respectively. I just graduated with my second bachelor's degree and I am pursuing medical school. I would like to start next year if I am accepted, but because of our situation, I'm not sure if that's feasible. My fiance is still in undergrad because he had some personal issues that caused him to have to stop school for a while and now he's re-enrolled. He is working two part-time jobs to be able to pay for rent and other expenses- and because he doesn't have a degree it is proving very difficult for him to find a substantial job paying much more than minimum wage. The good thing is that he does have a lot of experience in the field he will eventually have a career in- but because of this, he doesn't want to get a job doing something random like fast-food. He can only take a few classes at a time, because he's paying out-of-pocket and cannot get any federal loans.

So here's the dilemma:
We are supposed to be getting married the end of this year, pending that we both have enough income to be stable. Our parents are paing for the majority of the wedding costs. The original plan was for us to get married, then for him to finish school first before I start med school, but we're not sure how long that will take- it could be another 2.5 years! We've already been together over 6.5 years and have just been waiting to get married because of money and other legit personal struggles. We've been engaged for 8 months and neither one of us wants to wait too much longer, so I'm wondering if it is at all possible to live on my med school loans while he continues to work part-time... or is it common for schools to allow the option of deferring med school acceptance for reasons like this? I am not accepted yet, but I'm trying to think ahead before beginning my application tomorrow.

I have already heard the suggestion of having a civil ceremony and a full wedding at another time and we don't want to do that, if possible. Also, we don't live together and won't until after we are married.

Re: Can we get married if I go to med school and he's in undergrad?

  • First of all, you'll REALLY want to talk to the financial aid offices at the med schools you're applying to, because schools may vary.  But I had a friend who supported his family (two young kids and his wife) on his law school loans, with supplemental state and federal aid when necessary.  So yes, it's possible to live on your loans.  Especially if that income is being supplemented by your FI's part-time job.

    I doubt that this would be a reason that a school would let you defer your acceptance; they're usually quite strict about that and would be unlikely to let you if it's a problem you knew about in advance of applying.

    A civil ceremony IS a wedding; it's terrible etiquette to try and get a do-over on your wedding just because the first one wasn't fancy enough.  So I'm glad you've rejected that option.
  • annmarie714annmarie714
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited May 2012
    FI is in med school (& I worked in the FA office during my undergrad), and by federal law you can use school loans to pay for cost of living expenses.  This includes rent, groceries, bills, school expenses (books, supplies) etc.  Will you get enough to support you both? The answer is likely yes (but you have to live VERY modestly, and understand what you borrow, you pay back!!).  Medical school is very demanding, and you have a crazy life.  You will move around after about the 2nd year, so your FI will have to be done with school in order to accomodate that, as well as planning for his job after graduation.  The medical school life can be compared to the military in regards to moving frequently (not in the risking your life every day way).

    Just be prepared.
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
  • Can you work out a sample budget? See what his income will cover first, so that you take out the minimum possible on your loans. Learn to meal-plan and use coupons where possible to save money on groceries. Figure out ways to keep your bills down. It should be possible, but you'll have to be frugal.
    LilySlim Weight loss tickers
  • Don't have a "second" wedding, that is terrible etiquette.  

    I think it is do able, but you have to live within your means and budget.  We plan on living on loans here in the fall but we know we are going to have to budget and not live beyond our means. 

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • In Response to Re: Can we get married if I go to med school and he's in undergrad?:
    First of all, you'll REALLY want to talk to the financial aid offices at the med schools you're applying to, because schools may vary.  But I had a friend who supported his family (two young kids and his wife) on his law school loans, with supplemental state and federal aid when necessary.  So yes, it's possible to live on your loans.  Especially if that income is being supplemented by your FI's part-time job. I doubt that this would be a reason that a school would let you defer your acceptance; they're usually quite strict about that and would be unlikely to let you if it's a problem you knew about in advance of applying. A civil ceremony IS a wedding; it's terrible etiquette to try and get a do-over on your wedding just because the first one wasn't fancy enough.  So I'm glad you've rejected that option.
    Posted by calliopeia2013
     

    Thank you! That answered my question :)

  • In Response to Re: Can we get married if I go to med school and he's in undergrad?:
    Don't have a "second" wedding, that is terrible etiquette.   I think it is do able, but you have to live within your means and budget.  We plan on living on loans here in the fall but we know we are going to have to budget and not live beyond our means. 
    Posted by ravenray
     Thank you! Good luck to you :)
  • In Response to Re: Can we get married if I go to med school and he's in undergrad?:
    FI is in med school (& I worked in the FA office during my undergrad), and by federal law you can use school loans to pay for cost of living expenses.  This includes rent, groceries, bills, school expenses (books, supplies) etc.  Will you get enough to support you both? The answer is likely yes (but you have to live VERY modestly, and understand what you borrow, you pay back!!).  Medical school is very demanding, and you have a crazy life.  You will move around after about the 2nd year, so your FI will have to be done with school in order to accomodate that, as well as planning for his job after graduation.  The medical school life can be compared to the military in regards to moving frequently (not in the risking your life every day way). Just be prepared.
    Posted by annmarie714
     
    That makes sense. Although, medical students don't move to residancy until after year 4. I grew up in a military familiy, so I'm familiar with the moving around....and speaking of which, I hope to get loan forgiveness when I enter the military after med school.

  • In Response to Re: Can we get married if I go to med school and he's in undergrad?:
    Can you work out a sample budget? See what his income will cover first, so that you take out the minimum possible on your loans. Learn to meal-plan and use coupons where possible to save money on groceries. Figure out ways to keep your bills down. It should be possible, but you'll have to be frugal.
    Posted by lissadelsol
    Good ideas! Thank you :)
  • In Response to Re: Can we get married if I go to med school and he's in undergrad?:
    In Response to Re: Can we get married if I go to med school and he's in undergrad? :   That makes sense. Although, medical students don't move to residancy until after year 4. I grew up in a military familiy, so I'm familiar with the moving around....and speaking of which, I hope to get loan forgiveness when I enter the military after med school.
    Posted by pinky & the brain
    You don't move for RESIDENCY until after year 4, but you have a good chance of moving for rotations after year 2.  We're moving to MI this summer thanks to rotations.  His school is in PA, we're from OH, and we're ending up in MI.  It's not uncommon to move for rotations, unless you go to a large school like Ohio State University which has a large hospital affiliated with it.
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
  • I agree with the PPs- you just need to talk to people and lay out a mock budget. If I were you guys, I'd see exactly how little you could live on, starting now.
    It will help to only have one apartment/place of living between the two of you so you can both contribute to the cost.  I lived in a huge city while doing the majority of my undergrad and when I was looking for apartments, I managed to find one that was like 450 for a big studio (we now live in a 390 sq foot apartment quite comfortably) in a nice place, so if you look hard enough, you can find something that you'll be comfortable in physically and financially (if you haven't already).
    I feed my FI breakfast and dinner (and my lunch) all month on $200 dollars, but I cook exclusively from scratch, which does take time. For example, dinner cost me 96 cents at the store last night.
    If you're in med school and and he's working two jobs and in school, cooking on a budget might be really hard, but with planning and the purchase of things like a crockpot, it is possible.
    And even though if you get married, you'll likely get gifts for your home, whatever you don't have, buy off craigslist, flea markets, ect.  Some people flip out about things like that, but the majoirty of the stuff in my house is used and we're still alive :)
    You'd also be surprised what you DONT need. We used to have cable, but cut it. We have subscriptions to hulu plus and spotify, which is all the music and TV we can watch.
    I cut his hair, I take the bus 60 miles round trip to school instead of driving to save money on gas (our school has a free bus system!), I shop for my clothes at the awesome thrift stores we have around here and we rarely eat out.
    So I think you could do it if you're determined to live really, really simply.  The main things I worry about have been the health insurance/car insurance, car repairs (fjdkslfjdsklfskdl why did I pick out a VW Jetta as my car!?! Oh, because my parents were paying for it!) and surprise vet bills.  And of course any other surprise bills.
  • Tough situation! For med school- it sounds like you're applying to start in summer '13 since you said you're just about to begin your application? So you still have to figure out your plans for next year finances as you won't have loans then. For loans once you're there- yes, you can live off them but just remember you will be paying them back with interest so you will want to take out as few as you can (and no subsidized ones for us anymore, boo). Also, totally depends on the school in terms of "moving around". At my school we're gone 1 month during 3rd year and then 4th year only if you choose to do aways...and that's it. But that varies a ton, so that might be something to consider when you look where you apply to. Also, others were right- you need to consider that you'll need health insurance and a car in medical school (most require them) as well as a computer, etc etc. And did I mention taking boards, buying all the books, etc? Med school gets expensive so if you're on loans and he's making minimum wage and not taking out loans it will be tough- but you can certainly find a way.
  • i am going to med school in 2014 and hope to be moving to the states of CT or MA. we are getting married in 2015 to give him time to graduate and start a good job in his field. 

    it is possible to live off loans, but remember you have to pay them back at some point. so try to see if you can work out something between you guys until he finished his undergrad. 

    best of wishes!


  • Also note that while you can live off of loans, loan amounts may change once you're married! Our marital status is changing the FI's loan amount for his 4th year of medical school because I have a job, even though it's teaching and I make nothing :) Good luck to you
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards