Wedding date dilemma

So my and my fiance were originally going to have a long engagement so that I could finish college. He is going to be an orthopedic surgeon and I am going to get my BSN in Nursing. We have been doing this long distance thing for 2 years now, and its terrible! I miss him like crazy!! He is being very very faithful. It just stinks being so far apart from each other. Currently I am attending a local 2 year community college and he is at a big 4 year university. I am just starting my sophomore year at this community college. Next semester I really don't have to take any classes to transfer. My question to all you knotties: would it be beneficial for me to get married this summer vs. after I am done with school? This is how I am seeing it. 1. Currently I do not qualify for financial aid because of my parents's income, but they are really not going to have any financial contribution for when I transfer. The FAFSA then would look at me and my (soon to be hubby's) tax forms and not my parents.  2. Instead of worrying about planning a wedding DURING nursing school, I would have a whole semester focused solely on planning my wedding and working. I mean ideally this seems like the perfect plan. I do not see myself with anyone else but my fiance. He is absolutely wonderful! I know my parents are not going to be too keen into this idea of getting married sooner, but I honestly think it would benefit us in the long run. I would love to hear what others have to say about this. I have prayed about it for the longest time and this idea was just brought up today.

Re: Wedding date dilemma

  • From my lurking experience, financial considerations seem to be a large motive for when quite a few couples choose to get married, although they tend to be more on the longer, saving-up side of things.  That said, I do have a good friend who did something similar - she and her husband intentionally married before she turned 25 so that she could go onto his health insurance, so it is certainly logical if it will help you with tuition for nursing school.  

    Will you be able to move in together after you finish community college, and will you be able to move to wherever he goes for med school?  It sounds like after college you both have siginificant amounts of schooling to continue going through (you with nursing, him with getting his MD), so before making the marriage decision, I would highly recommend figuring out where you both will be geographically for the next few years.  I've done the long distance thing, too, and I agree, it sucks (I'm also going to have to do it again here pretty soon).  I've heard that it gets worse when you are married, but it's not impossible - I know and know of quite a few people who have gotten through it.  Good luck with your decision!
  • I agree with PP that looking at your locations for the next few years would definitely be a huge thing. It can work either way but starting off a marriage is hard enough but being long distance I cant even imagine how much harder that would be.

    If timing and you guys are finanically ready to be married and on your own then I think there's nothing wrong with having it next summer even if your parents arent thrilled but there is also nothing wrong with waiting. 

    Also wouldnt you need to get married before FAFSA gets submitted in March to claim independent for your first year at nursing school? And if you have it this summer will you have the funds to have the wedding you dream or will you be sacraficing just for a little financial aid?

    Good luck figuring things out!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We would be able to live together once we are married. When I transfer my school and his school are only a short drive away. I talked to my academic advisor and she said that the FAFSA can be modified after it is submitted. It is a whole lot to think about...

  • How long were you together before you went long distance? I ask because I think it's really important to make sure you're compatible when you're NOT long distance before you get married. If you've only ever been long distance, I think it's necessary to try living in the same place for a year or so before making things permanent.
  • We were together 3 years before going to a LDR.
  • Have you been accepted to the school you want to transfer to?

  • It sounds like you have thought about all the pros and cons...if your FI is on board with the plan, I would totally go for it! We are getting married right after I graduate so that my FI will qualify for PELL grant to help his parents pay for the remainder of his schooling (they will pay for his books w.e. that aren't covered even after we are married). Also, it will help if I get an out of state job and he has to pay out of state tuition after transferring.
  • Yes, I have been accepted to the school.
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