Pregnant Bridesmaid Due 3 Weeks Before Wedding

Gogalina

I was just about to ask 1 of my closest friends to be a BM, when she suddently informed me that she's pregnant & that she'll be more than 8 months pregnant at my wedding. Automatically I thought she would bow out of being a BM, but she said she would really love to be a BM & left the final decision up to me. She's 1 of my closest friends so I always imagined her being my BM & I really wanted her to be apart of the day. Still, I can't imagine what it would be like to be a BM with 3 weeks to your due date! I think it'd be extremely uncomfortable to attend a wedding as a guest, let alone a BM because there are so many responsibilities involved. Granted I would understand that she's not feeling 100% & could not expect her to attend every event. However, my wedding day itself is very looong (cultural traditions) & I think she would be exhausted. For instance, my ceremony is 1 hour long. Additionally, she already has a 1 year old child to tend to in addition to her pregnancy. First, should I have her in the wedding? Second, is there another way to recognize our friendship other than having her be a BM(having her wear a dress in my wedding colors & possibly giving her a small bouquet to carry)? Thoughts? Advice?

perfectlioness1

Keep her as your bridesmaid!  She obviously means a lot to you, and you to her if she is willing to stick with it!  I think it is absolutely horrid when people automatically boot someone from their bridal party because of a pregnancy. My cousin kicked one of her BM out when she found out she was preggo!  I just think it's wrong, as a pregnancy is something joyous, not treat them like a leper!Just note that she may not be able to help you out as much, and be ok with that.  And also that if she were to have any complications or have an early arrival, that she may not be able to attend at all.  Just have a contingency plan and you'll be ok. :-)

mresendez

Definitely keep her! You just have to realize that she may not be able to do everything your other bms are doing. Ask her to be your BM, then let her know that it is ok if she needs to excuse herself from anything. Her being a bridesmaid is about her friendship to you, not what she can do.

NillaWafer10

Definitely keep her!  Just make sure to have a loose, flowy dress that will fit her body shape if she gains more weight than expected.  I think pregnant bridesmaids look so cute!

ck9586

Absolutely keep her. You're questioning it for the right reasons---for her comfort---but it sounds like it's important to her. Tell her what length you've chosen for the gowns, and the colors, and then let her pick something regardless of whether or not the design matches the others. If she happens to give birth before the wedding, and is unable to attend, still have her name in the program and don't grab a stand-in. Show her that she can't be replaced. Maybe add something in the program next to her name "who can't be with us today. She just had a bouncing ?"