Just a little vent

LedZeppelin

So, I'm feeling a little anxious and frustrated right now. I have been trying to rework my budget and cut back certain, less important areas in order to accommodate for a photographer who is more expensive than I had originally planned on.

Well, it was going fine and I was finding several places to save a few hundred dollars here, a couple hundred more there. That is, until my mom and FI started adding more people to the guest list. So now a good chunk of the money I was going to put toward the photographer is going to go to the newly added guests.

On top of that, I just talked to the photographer about the specifics of my wedding/reception and he's making me nervous by saying he might need to bring in extra equipment and/or people to setup since it's going to be outside at night.

*sigh*

NillaWafer10

If you're paying for it all, I would give your moms a set amount of people they can invite.  If they want more than that, they can fork out the extra pp fees. Say $75 per person... Whatever your costs are.

If they are paying for it, then I have no advice Sorry

LedZeppelin

I appreciate your help, but she's paying for part of it. My mom and stepdad are splitting the cost with my dad. Which, I GREATLY appreciate, but she adds on people and then will say it's getting too expensive. It's just frustrating.

NillaWafer10

I thought of something else that might work.... If they add on any more people, they can be sent invitations once you hear back from some of the people not coming.  That way, if there is room in your budget, they can be there.

sms274

I agree with sending the second round of invites to people after receiving no's also, don't forget to factor in a % of people not coming. We had several more people than expected say no (we invited my dad's side of the family who we KNEW would say no, but there was still a nice handful on top of it. I was thoroughly prepared for 180-190 guests...

Also, see if you can get money taken off the up front package from your photographer by reducing the products included. You can always purchase these later and use money received from guests to purchase items so you don't have to factor it in to your wedding cost. Our photographer actually has a gift card type program where our guests can give you money towards your products as bridal shower and wedding gifts - maybe they have something similar?

Celles

I'm sorry that you're going through this.  If it helps at all, you definitely aren't alone! 

In regards to the suggestions PPs have made: I don't think a B-list is a great idea.  I know I would be hurt if I found out I was invited to a friend's wedding as a second string guest.  Even if the she didn't intend it as a snub, I would still take it as an "So I'm not good enough to make the A-list, but I am good enough to fill an empty seat and bring you a  present?" kind of a thing.    I'd still go and put on a happy face, of course, but it would definitely cause me to question the strength of our friendship...  KWIM?

LedZeppelin

Thanks for the advice ladies! I am inclined to agree with Celles, though, in that I would feel bad sending out a 2nd round of invites. Instead, I cut out all the plus ones of the people who are not in a serious relationship (as long as they will know other single people at the wedding, of course). Is this an acceptable thing to do?

I have also started looking into a couple other, less expensive photographers because all of the things the photographer I had in mind said about possibly need extra equipment and people because it will be at night started making me really worried that there were going to be a lot of additional expenses. So, we'll see how it goes.

And Celles, I don't know what KWIM means. Sorry, I haven't figured out all of these acronyms yet.

NillaWafer10

I see what you mean about the second string...

We invited well over 200 people to the wedding (quite a few were OOT though) and so far only about 110 have said yes.  We're waiting to hear back from at least 20, but our numbers were significantly lower than we expected.  I wish I wouldn't have worried so much about the guest list going over the max when we are now way under