(x-post on the DW board) So, I am aware that when you send someone a STD, you have to later send them an invite. I won't do STD's for a few more months because I don't want to have the guest list argument yet. But I'm wondering - is it a horrible breach of etiquette to send STD's to a smaller group of people than you plan on sending invitations? Has anyone else done/considered this, and if so how did it turn out? I intend to send STD's to people who I know will talk (i.e. friend groups) and won't leave someone in the friend group out only to send them an invitation later - obviously that could be hurtful. But a lot of ppl currently on our guest list are old family friends and extended family that I doubt will come, but I'd still like to invite because I think they'd like to be invited (and of course we'd invite them if the wedding were local). I don't see a point to sending these folks STD's (and frankly, we don't have money for this many ppl at the wedding, so I don't really want *all* of them to actually STD...). FWIW, we are undecided on an AHR, and at most will do a super casual BBQ - nothing fancy. WDYT? Is this an acceptable workaround to the guest list/limited budget issue, or something I should forget about?