Guest list etiquette

SharonE59

We are not getting married til next year. We are planning a small ceremony mostly for family and a few close friends.The reception however would be open to those that attended the weddiing plus other friends.My question is....in order to avoid unwanted guest and party crashers,how should invitations be addressed( most are going to be sent here on theknot or Facebook,some via reg,mail) .There are a few people that I am afraid that may show up uninvited and really spoil things.Should I have a list at the door for the wedding and have someone check those guest off as they come in and should i also have a check list of those that are invited to the reception as well to avoid this poss. situation or is that not considered proper?

rbwashington2012

Sharon, we have been as close to etiquette as possible with our wedding but sometimes etiquette has went out the window cause everyone can't be pleased. If you are worried about having unwanted guests, have your list at the door. You would know best if your unwanted guests are connected to anyone that is invited to the either celebration. Our wedding is small with the ceremony and reception in the same location. So I understand what your feelings are. I am still going to have a list  at make sure everyone is there. But there is a really interesting piece of information about my location, you would really have to know where you are going to find it. Its eay to pass by it and most people don't know that the road its on is also a highway.

SharonE59

I know, the occassion is not swanky etc.The venue for the wedding is a nice wedding chapel but the wedding package that we have chosen only allows for X amount of guest.The guest at the wedding naturally are invited to the reception which is going to be held at a separate location not far from the wedding location. The reception venue allows for a much larger capacity.I may be paranoid but I don;t think it is totally rude to make sure that there are no wedding crashers....What Bride and Groom want uninvited /unexpected guest to show and ruin their day? 

ArkansasMom22

I'll chime in. I got married last year in Arkansas so I look on this board to see anyone needing reccomendations.
To be honest if i was invited to a reception and not the ceremony (that took place the same day right before) I would look at it as gift grabby. Unless, as PPs have mentioned you were married at a destination wedding with only family, or had a small only immediate family wedding and then wanted to have a reception at a later date.
I also agree that if i walked in to a wedding and they had a bouncer with a guest list checking off names I would feel awkward and it just wouldn't sit well with me.

sdzilles

I did the invites for a friend who was doing exactly what you are doing. Small ceremony, larger reception. We just said on her invites to reception guests that they were getting married and you are invited to celebrate with them afterwards and just list the venue, not the ceremony site.

Personally, I was hurt that I wasn't invited to the ceremony, but I still went to the reception. If you have certain people you don't want coming, tell someone close to you that knows those people to watch out for them and ask them to leave if they show up. Don't make it a big deal. Be discreet.

alannamackenzie

Unfortunetly for you...you cannot control how closely other people follow etiquette. If they know about the reception, and want to come, they'll rationalize a reason to come...or they'll just be rude to be rude. We have a similar problem...and our solution is rude...but we're doing it anyway. Our families are located primarily in central Arkansas but we are having both ceremony and reception in Eureka Springs because not all our family members will travel that far...and we can only afford 50 people at the reception. We are however, going to video the event and post it online for the ones who couldn't make it. What I'm getting at...is you might try to make it more difficult for said guests to come. No invite..hard to get to location...etc. It is kindof rude..but so is having a "bouncer"...and so is crashing a wedding.