Overwhelmed

VanessaF24

Hello! My name is Vanessa and I am just starting out in the wedding planning process. I am a grad student at the University of Delaware and am planning on getting married June 2011. I'm pretty overwhelmed with all of this planning and am looking for whatever advice, wisdom, tips, etc anyone has to offer. Our budget is pretty small so we're looking for a place that accomodates that. I'm really excited to talk to a group of women who might be in the same boat as me :-)

dibsontop

First, congratulations!
Second, take a deep breath, one way or another everything will fall into place.

IMO, chosing the date and finding the location are the biggest hurdles.  After that, everything just starts to come together.  Start by thinking about how many people you'd like to invite.  This is key to selecting a location.

Obviously determining a budget is key.  However, I found this difficult to do upfront because I really had absolutely no idea what things cost.  Decide what is most important to you and where you'd like to spend more money, or what you'd be willing to sacrifice.  I used the budget tool on theknot to get a rough start.  I picked a high estimate for a total cost and then looked at where theknot designated the money.  Then I just started looking at websites for local vendors to see what their costs were to start bringing that total number down.  Then again, look at what is most important to you and designate more money towards those areas.

I found once I had that done, I was more comfortable with calling vendors to begin setting up appointments and talking cost since I had a better idea of what things were going to cost.

Hope that helps.  The DE board might move a bit slow, but everyone here is very helpful when it comes to those local questions.

Good luck!

miguelhilary2010

Congrats and welcome!  Just take it one task at a time.  You have a lot of time until your wedding, so you can literally call just type of vendor at a time and once you make a decision, move on to the next vendor you need.  I've been planning since July and that's how I approached it and I've avoided getting confused and overwhelmed.

Like pp suggested, start trying to figure an approximate guest count and budget so you know what venues you can look at.  Once the venue is selected, the rest starts to fall into place because you'll have the look/feel of the venue to steer some of your decisions.

To be completely honest with you, I didnt find the vendor search to be fun at all.  I felt like I was interviewing them, and in turn received their best sales pitch.  Now that I'm down to 5 months, I'm getting much more excited and happy about the tasks I have to do because they are fun (tastings, parties, personalizing things).

Good luck!  Feel free to post questions on the board whenever you feel like you're getting stuck or overwhelmed.

Mattsbride10

welcome and congrats!!!!!!
Please don't feel overwhelmed. We're all here to help and there is plenty of time.

If a question pops into your head...ASK IT!!!!!!!!!

Good Luck. We were all in your boat at one time or another.

VanessaF24

Thanks so much for the support!!! We're thinking of having about 100-125 people and not looking to spend more than $60 a person (which I'm beginning to think is impossible). We would like to have the wedding on a Sunday afternoon (to help cut the cost) and want a beer and wine bar only. We've been engaged since last May and have really been enjoying being engaged but now I'm ready to start planning and get to the fun stuff :-)

Did any of you use wedding planners or are you planning everything yourselves? I don't think my budget will allow me to use a wedding planner but I was curious as to what you all thought. Again thanks! I should have joined this group sooner!

dibsontop

We're having our reception at Memorial Hall @ Talleyville Fire Co., on 202 in North Wilmington.  I know, you hear fire hall and think eek.  But, it's actually a really nice space, and although we're getting a discount on it, their prices to begin with are great.  For a sit down meal, options run between $28-$40 dollars, with bar options adding another <$15 per person.  Totally within your budget.  Max number of people is 170, so your group would fit, but but wouldn't look too small in their hall.  Unfortunately, they've redone their website and there aren't pictures any more, but you can request information here http://www.talleyvillefireco.org/hallrental.cfm

Mattsbride10

I wouldnt recommend a Wedding Planner on a smaller budget. I'm pretty sure everyone here is doing it themselves. Honustly I don't think you need one unless you're way to busy to do it yourself. Not to mention us girls can pretty much walk you through anything.  I myself am considering a Day of Coordinator and I am on a pretty tight budget myself. Thats something you might want to consider but you have plenty of time to think about that.

miguelhilary2010

I'm not using a planner.

Dnyce7282

Hi Vanessa and welcome to the board! Did you pick a date in June? I am the 12th but 2010.

Anyway, I have mostly planned the wedding myself w/o a coordinator but a friend of mine just recently opened her Events Planning company and have agreed to be my day of coordinator as well as plan/facilitate a brunch we are having the day after the wedding at our new house to build credentials.

Since she is new to the industry and you're starting now, she may be able to make a deal with you as they are trying to build clientele. They are very professional and know they would do an amazing job! Just thought I would offer in case you may want to look into it; I would be helping out a fellow knottie & a friend. I know she has a small team assembled as well that will help her but I don't know all of them, I'm sure I will though in the next few months

If you'd like her contact info just let me know and happy planning, you have plenty of time!!!!

Santorini2011

Welcome and congrats!  It does seem overwhelming but take a deep breath and enjoy the ride!  It is once in a lifetime.  I am 6/25/11 so "Go June Brides" and UD alum. I agree with pp - check out halls.  There are a few that are cool and affordable.  You can completely personalize it. I am ridiculously organized so I am planning the event myself.  First suggestion-build a website!  It is free and will keep you in the right direction. 

Come to the G2G!!!!

VanessaF24

Thanks dibsontop for the info about the firehall. My sister suggested that I look into a place like that but I was having a lot of trouble finding one in the area. It sounds like it could be really promising.

And all the feedback about wedding planners has been really helpful. I don't think I was ever really considering having one because of my budget but I was really interested in hearing what the more experienced brides to be had to say :-) Also, knowing that you are all out there and willing to help actually eased a lot of my anxieties about planning this wedding, which is great!

We are hoping to get married on June 12, 2011 because our anniversary is June 13th and it would mean a lot to us to get married around that time. Hopefully I will be able to make is to the G2G on the 26th because it would be nice to meet you all.
Oh and I have yet another question (sorry) that I will hopefully get some feedback on. I recently went with a friend to help her buy a bridesmaid dress for her brother's wedding and while I was there tried on some dresses myself. This was my second time trying on dresses and while I was there I found this dress that I can't stop thinking about. So, my question is...how early is too early to buy a dress/is there such a thing as buying a dress to early? Should I hold my horses and wait? What were your experiences with finding "THE dress"?

dibsontop

I don't think it's ever too early to buy your dress, IF you're absolutely sure it's THE ONE.  The more time you spend on this site looking around and doing more wedding planning, you're bound to get dress envy.

Possibly ask the shop what the chanes are of the dress becoming unavailable.  For example, my dress is from a Fall of 2006 line and I can still get it from any shop that sells that designer.  Others disappear rather quickly.  So take that into consideration.  Unless there is danger of it becoming unavailable in the next 4-6 months, I'd say take a step back and just wait a little longer.

But again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with ordering it now if you absolutely love it and don't want to look at any more dresses.

dibsontop

Also, I'm meeting with the caterer at Talleyville this weekend.  While I'm there, I'll try and take some pictures to show you.  Like I said, there aren't any picture on their website, but it's definitely not your typical firehall.

Mattsbride10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_delaware_overwhelmed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:77Discussion:3985a3b1-b9d2-4604-ade5-079733ff4fe3Post:100ec36a-b8f0-495c-9751-3535bcc1af8d">Re: Overwhelmed</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think it's ever too early to buy your dress, IF you're absolutely sure it's THE ONE.  The more time you spend on this site looking around and doing more wedding planning, you're bound to get dress envy.
Posted by dibsontop[/QUOTE]


I totally agree with this.  So be careful and try on lots of dresses before deciding on just one.
Also you should start a new post with your dress question...it will get alot more responses that way.<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

stymitz

i got my dress january of 2009 and i'm getting married in june of this year, i got it because i was 100% sure it was THE dress, and it looked gorgeous on me (and made my mom cry... blah blah blah... lol).

I am having my reception at a fire hall, IMO its a very nice one, i think they may have remodeled or something, but the price was very reasonable. I'm getting married on a weekday (june 14th to be exact) and it turned out the weekday price is about $150 off the weekend price so that was perfect.

I think a big key to not being so stressed (for me anyway) is plan your wedding for yourself and your FI, not for anyone else..... as soon as you start trying to cater to everyone thats when things get stressful

hope this helped

Ms.BriarRose

First off, welcome!  I am a UD alum as well!

Yes, you can do your wedding on a budget, and yes, you can get that price, and yes, you can get a beautiful hall with all the perks for that price.

I am having my wedding reception at Executive Banquet in Newark, off 896.  PIB.  I cannot rave about them enough.  Included in my package is cake (by Cakes By Kim, my favorite baker hands down and the best in DE, IMO), colored linens (most only included ivory or white around here), centerpieces, 5 hour reception with 5 hour bar (most do 4 hour reception with 3 hour bar), and great food.  They have 8 beers on tap (including good ones, like Dogfishhead and Blue Moon, and I think an Iron Hill one), 6-8 different wines.  I am doing beer and wine only, and for that they cut $8pp off my total (which is ALOT in this area).  Their plates start around $65 a person (I think some are a little less, but don't quote me on that as I haven't seen their 2010 pricing), and include salad and entree (you can add in things like dessert bars and coffee bars for additional fees).  The food is wonderful, the hall is very pretty, and I am so happy with how I have been treated by Brad (the manager).  They offer a 10% discount on Fridays and Sundays, and your wedding is the only one booked that day.  There are a couple of brides who have had their weddings there, but I don't remember off the top of my head who (help, anyone?)

Another one to check out is Clayton Hall at UD.  MrsJax09 had her wedding there, and it was gorgeous.  She loved her experience there, and was also on a budget.  You can try paging her, but I don't think she will respond for a while (she had a baby yesterday!).

You can also check out the Farmhouse.  While on the smaller side and a tiny more than what you quoted (I think they start around $70, but might be wrong), it's so pretty in there and they have a garden ceremony site on premises.  MrsLuraT had her wedding there and it was so amazing- she can help you with questions.

Look into the Crystal Ballroom- they offer packages that start around $50pp, and while they are limited, it may suit what you need.

I will be honest, I am not a fan of firehouses (unless you have an extreme circumstance, like Amber on here did).  I find that many of the firehouses around here require you to bring in your own linens, china, crystal, etc; they don't offer as many "perks" as some of the banquet halls do (no cake, no hotel room like with Clayton Hall, etc), and sometimes the Ladies Auxilary can be difficult to deal with (for example, while Hockessin Fire Hall is gorgeous inside, I have heard that their Auxilary is horrible to deal with, not from just brides either).  It's a decision that you have to make as to whether you want to go down that road or not.  I am not saying that you cannot have a gorgeous wedding at a fire hall, I just feel that for the money you are going to spend it isn't worth the extra work when there are banquet halls that cost the same or less and do the work for you (this of course doesn't apply if you have a connection and are getting a great deal).  That's just my opinion, though, and there are brides who will probably disagree.

Will you be able to have a Hotel DuPont wedding, unfortunately no.  But there are several places in DE that are gorgeous, offer great deals, and will give you a beautiful wedding. 

As for the dress, I recommend you check out Brides and Grooms in Newark (by the Christiana Hospital).  I cannot even count how many brides I know (personally and thru this board) who have either gotten their dress, their BMs dresses, or both from B&Gs, and loved working with them.  Very rarely do I hear about a bad experience; my experience was wonderful, and I ordered my dress and well as my girls dresses from them.  Their alterations department is a little sketch, so it is recommended you take it elsewhere for that, but you definitely need to check them out when you go to try on. 

As for timing, it's up to you.  I ordered my dress January 09, and am not getting married until Oct 10.  When I knew it was the dress, I just knew.  My advice is this, though:  Try on everything and anything, and trust your consultant.  I ended up with dress that had everything I didn't want (sleeves, lace, sweetheart neckline, etc) because I put a dress on that I thought was ugly in the store and online.  My best friend from HS was the same way- she ended up with beading and shimmer and glitz when she wanted nothing at all but rouching.  Take your time to try on; if you feel overwhelmed, make another appointment.  You will know when you know, and don't doubt yourself.

The girls on here are wonderful, and will help you with whatever you need; vendor recs, DIY ideas, stress calming thoughts, even nonwedding related items.  They will get you the best bang for your buck, and will give you an honest opinion.  Trust them and use them as a tool; they really know what they are doing!  Again, congrats and can't wait to see you posting more!

VanessaF24

I cannot say thank you enough for all of the advice I've gotten thus far!! I am really excited to look into the places that were suggested here. My fiance works at University of MD and saw that the alumni hall holds weddings so we are going to take a look at it next weekend! We'll also be looking into the many places here in DE the following week so I will let you all know how all of that goes!! Again thanks!