• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
Iowa-Des Moines

Not sure what to do

I sent an email out to all my bridesmaids the other day asking them about dress shopping. It basically said that im not requireing them to wear the same dress just the same color and asked if they all wanted to get together to shop or if they wanted to go out on their own and so on........I have had one reply and she simply said I feel it is too earlier to do anything but I guess if everyone else wants to get together then ill be there.......It is early considering my wedding is June 5 2010 but I have girls ranging from size 2-30 and I am not requireing the same dress so it isn't going to be a simple walk in a store get a size then leave. They are going to have to find dresses. I am not sure if I should send another email or if I should wait or I am even half tempted to say if everyone feels its too early to start looking that I am just going to go to a store and pick out a few options and say fine choose from those three and just make sure they arrive on time and half time to alter if needed. sorry I had to vent to someone.

Re: Not sure what to do

  • edited December 2011
    I also have bridesmaids ranging from size 2 to 28, so I know how you feel.  When we first went shopping for the bridesmaids dresses I tried being easy going and left it completely open, because I wanted them to be comfortable and like their dresses.  I've been a bridesmaid before several times and nothing stinks more than wearing a dress you don't like.  I told them they could pick whatever length, whatever style, etc. as long as it was a certain color.  They all looked at me like deer in headlights.  Nobody likes a bossy bride, but at the same time I  think my girls felt more comfortable when I suggested several different dresses and then they picked out of that selection.  Just my experience :)
  • edited December 2011
    My experience was a lot like Turtle's - I told them to each pick whatever style they wanted, so long as they felt beautiful.  They all acted like they didn't know how to handle this!  In the end they all picked the same dress, but only because they each decided it was their favorite.  You should call the store where you want to order the dresses from and find out how far in advance the order needs to be placed, to allow for time for shipping and alterations.  Then make sure the gals all know that deadline, and see when you could all go shopping a couple weeks before then.  When we shopped for BM dresses I took them all out to lunch and drinks first, and just made it a fun afternoon.  We all had a really good time.  :-)  So try not to stress; just make it fun and laid-back, and hopefully everyone else will step up. 
  • edited December 2011
    I told my girls the same thing, choose any dress in the same color. My sister threw a fit about it. My other girls tried to organize it so they were all in the same dress but it didn't work out. In the end they finally chose their own dresses, and they all love them. I wasn't able to get my girls together all at once to try on dresses, so we did two different trips. One in January and one in May. We went early, but it gave the girls time to consider other options and try them on again if they wanted to. I don't think its too early to start thinking about trying on dresses for a June wedding. My sister is getting married June 26th and we already tried and decided on BM dresses. Just try to get your girls availability for now, becuase if they are anything like my girls, it may be a few months before you can all get a time that works to all get together.
  • edited December 2011
    I thought it was kind of early to start shopping for BM dresses also.  But after talking to a few ladies at the bridal shops I was glad we went early and already decided.  We are ordering BM dresses the second week in Dec.  It takes about 12 weeks to get them in...but if you need altering that takes time as well.  People keep telling me that you have to remember May is graduation month, and April is prom month.  Just some things to think about.  But have fun shopping for the dresses!
  • edited December 2011
    i picked the same dress for all my girls, so i went a different route entirely, but i agree with the pp. :) one thing to consider - what is going on in your bm's life right now? does she have other things on her mind that might make her feel this way? maybe she also needs to vent to someone about something going on with her...just a thought.
  • edited December 2011
    Have your bridesmaids been bridesmaids before? Perhaps they don't know what to expect. It may be a bit early, try waiting until after Christmas. If you order in Jan/Feb then you still have time. I have been in one wedding this year and am in another before ours... both of those brides picked our dresses and said "This is what you are going to wear, get sized where and when you can" Not at all in a rude tone, but to be honest it was nice to not have to find time to get together with 6 other girls and the bride and try on. If you wan them to be able to pick their own style, than I would suggest you pick out a designer and color (and maybe even some style #'s you like) and have them pick from there. They still pick a dress that is flattering to them, but you take some work off of them and get the color you prefer. If they want to go individually w/ you try to accomodate. They may not want to try on infront of a bunch of others, my sister didn't. My experience, I took 3 of my 4 BM and 2 candlelighters and only one of my girls acted like she even cared to be there that day. I should have just picked one and told them as I look back on it. There are a lot of good points in PP too. Best of luck.
  • bassclrnt2004bassclrnt2004 member
    edited December 2011
    I think you did the right thing! Don't let your bridesmaids tell you it is too early. Dress can take up to 3 months to get in and then depending on the shop, a while to get altered. I was told to make sure there dress was ready to go 1 month before the wedding so there would be no hassles. When I told my bridesmaids about dress I told them, the color, length, and sleeves - then they all came back and thanks me cause they had options but not too many so it wasn't stressful. You could always go the traditional route, and just get their measurements and pick and order the dress for them! your choice!
  • edited December 2011
    So the original plan was they were all going to find dresses they wanted from wherever they found them....Which is why i wanted them to start lookign because they were wanting to find them at Jcpennys, dillards, etc places like that versus actual dress shops. Do to the factthat everyone is saying it is too early i think in late december early jan. I am going to go to davids bridal or somewhere and find a few dresses and say find your size and order it within a month or 2... I was just aggravated bc they wanted to go with their own choices on dresses yet no one wanted to cooperate. Pick your battles right haha
  • edited December 2011
    I am getting married June 4th and I said the same thing to my BM, they could pick out whatever style of dress they want as long as it was the color I wanted.  My BM are also anywhere from size 0-20.  So, I want to make sure they are happy with their dress and feel just as beautiful as I do.  And if they are buying their dress I want them to like it and possibly wear it again!  If it gets to crazy and no one can make appointments or settle on something I will have to end up doing it all myself.  Atleast I will have enough time to figure it out.  But so far, my BM are being really great and all want to go try dresses on now!  I love it!  Good luck Jacobe!!! I am getting married one day before you, so we are wedding date buddies kinda, right?? :)
  • edited December 2011
    we are date buddies haha
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards