Anxiety and Stress

jnkreager

Planning a wedding is fun but can also be so stressful!  I seriously had no idea that we were even out of triple digits and I realized today that we have less than three months left.  So. Much. Stuff. To. Do.

On top of that, FH is student teaching right now and absolutely hates it.  He is not even sure he wants to be a teacher anymore and now has no idea what to do with his life.  He has always been an anxious person, but he has recently started having panic attacks to the point where he can hardly even function (racing heart, sense of dread, major sweating, etc.)  I am trying to handle all of the wedding "glitches" (MIA dj, for example) without involving him so he has less to worry about, but I don't know what else I can do to help lower his stress level.

I really don't know how FH is going to cope with student teaching and the wedding at this point.  How do you guys handle stress and anxiety?  Has anyone used any natural supplements like seredyn to help even out your mood? 

Kate2dance

Wow, so sorry to hear that I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

Does you FH have any idea what he might want to do? What does he love doing as a hobby? Could he incorporate that into a full-time job somehow? I understand the education thing... I went to school to be a teacher and hated it. So now I have a useless degree with student loan debt up to my eyeballs. What keeps me going is doing the things I enjoy (hobbies) while I am not at work. Is there a career center where he goes to school that may be able to help him figure out what he would enjoy as a career?

I am not sure if you are a Christian, but when I get stressed I talk to God about it. My faith is what sustains me. I actually just got a book called "Calm my Anxious Heart." I have only gotten through the 1st chapter, but it's really good! Anyways, that's what I do when I am stressed

Not sure about supplements or anything. Has your FH sought a doctor's help? It sounds like he might need to, just based on the fact that he can't function when those anxiety attacks hit full force. I am sure this is hard on you... esp. while planning a wedding!

Sending happy thoughts your way

[Deleted User]

I couldn't imagine student teaching and planning a wedding. First things first: as far as the wedding planning is concerned, what exactly do you have left? At about the 2-3 month mark, it was all starting to come together for us. (And we were planning a wedding in Ohio from 650 miles away.) Are their family and friends you can reach out to and ask for help? What about your parents or future in-laws? Utilize the resources and support you have around you if you can. I am sure they would love to help.

As far as your FI goes, I can definitely relate to what he is going through. I haven't done my student teaching yet, but have taken classes toward licensure and have taught in a preschool/childcare setting for about 4 years now. I definitely ditto Kate's advice about praying over his future and career. That always helps me as well, even though H and I are pretty spiritual people. I am not saying that you are not doing so already, but just be there to support him in whatever he decides. Teachers are put through so much AND with the economy, I am myself debating whether or not I want to pick up where I left off toward my certification.

Best of luck to you both. And if you need to vent, that is what we are here for.

kdaywedding

Sorry to hear you're going through so much stress and anxiety. It's really not a fun feeling.

A friend of mine's ex boyfriend also had the same anxiety about student teaching. His was so bad that he was getting sick before going to school. I'm not sure exactly what techniques he used to cope or if just time helped, but he was able to work through it and is now a highschool teacher at Olentangy.

As far as supplements go my mom just recommended to me last night that I try taking some B-Complex (I was having a major stress moment about photographers). She's suggested B-Complex to me before because I get really anxious and weepy when trying to handle stress. I'm thinking that I should take her up on it if i'm already getting axiety and I still have 11 months go.

Let me know if you try and it helps you/your FH.

Best of luck! I know venting always helps too so continue to share! : )

jnkreager

Thanks girls.  It is so nice to have a safe place to come vent and ask for help.

FH wants to be a filmmaker ultimately.  He is writing and filming a sitcom with two of his friends right now, but he understands that the chances of ever making it in the industry are super slim.  (Hence the backup plan of being a teacher.)  I think that is where some of the stress actually stems from--he already feels like he has put his dreams on the back-burner for almost 5 years in order to get an education and he thinks it will all have been for nothing if he doesn't actually use his degree.  That and the fact that he might have to go back to school again in order to become certified to do something else- further delaying him from his passion, plus he has no idea what other "backup" plan he would like to pursue.

Our associate pastor at church (who is officiating our wedding) actually has his Masters in family counseling so instead of doing pre-marital counseling for the past couple of weeks, we have  been focusing on Cameron.  I am a huge advocate of counseling , but I am afraid that it might not be enough given the situation.  He has been trying to help Cameron with meditative forms of prayer to at least calm the physical side of the panic attacks, but again I am afraid the stress is more than meditation can handle at this point.

I just wish there was something else I could do.  I keep telling him that he does not have to be a teacher if it makes him unhappy (I changed careers myself after using my degree for a couple of years and hating it), but I am afraid he still feels like everyone will think he is a failure if he doesn't stay with teaching.

As far as the wedding stuff is concerned, my mom and sister are coming up this weekend to help knock some things off of the "to do" list.  Hopefully that will help me feel better in the wedding department so then I can focus on helping FH cope with everything else.

MerJordan

I am huge advocate of counseling, I have gone to therapy and I have found it to be effective! I noticed it took some time to show it's usefulness! Have you talked to your Pastor about your concerns? Maybe, he will recommend another technique, possibly seeing a psychiatrist, or help your fiancé find another back up plan... I am very sorry for you! You and your fiancé are in my thoughts and prayers!

itsallnice421

I haven't been handling the anxiety and stress of the wedding (plus other life drama) as well as I would have liked. I haven't taken anything for it, but I was recommended a book about managing anxiety (and I am not a self-help fan, but this one is pretty good) if you are interested. As far as wedding planning, what helped me the most was actually giving away tasks when someone offered to help, and being able to vent to a few select friends no matter how big or small the issue!