Newly engaged...already stressed! :)

irin997

Hi everyone!!  My fiance (so strange!) proposed on Sunday and it was so completely out of the blue (for me) although we've been dating for just over 4 years.  He propsed by the water in Annapolis and it was one of the best moments of my life!

We've already done some heavy discussing about the wedding and we are really shooting for next summer, preferably in June, but I'm not sure how feasible that will be.  I have a 9 year old daughter from a previous relationship bu tthis is my first wedding.  Ideally we would prefer for her to be out of school just to make things easier on everyone, logistically.

I seriously didn't realize how expensive catering is!  Holy moley!  Not to mention the venue.  We are looking at a guest list of 150-175 and have a few Baltimore venues in mind and are already planning on looking at some this weekend.  However, does anyone have any ideas for cost cutting in the catering?  Besides an afternoon wedding, that is.  We are already planning on doing a station-style event, which will cut costs.  But does anyone have any specific caterers to recommend or anything?

Thanks so much!

lisab613

i got engaged by the water in annapolis too! probably in the same spot, right by the dock. how nice!
wedding expenses are totally shocking. the best advice i've heard is to look around a lot and ask caterers specifically what you can do to cut costs. i've found that buffets actually didn't cut costs, which i was surprised about. but if you're flexible about time of day, that will really help too. have you thought about a brunch? those are really reasonable. the marriott in annapolis (i think pussers does the catering) is beautiful, i really wanted to get married there but i had my heart set on a dinner and all they had was brunch. it was pretty reasonable and a GREAT location, you could get married with a water view! just an idea. good luck!

ladydee215

Hi,

You do not have to accept their prices.  Just tell them how much you want to spend per person and they will create a special package for you.  Calculate 50% of your budget for wedding and reception.  Then split the difference with the other categorties. 

Wedding Planners do it all the time for their clients.  You just need to know how much you want to spend per person.

I hope that this helps you.

Amy52582

Hello and congrats on your engagement! I agree that catering costs are  crazy! And I also agree with the above comment that buffets/stations may not necessarily be cheaper that sit-down.  The type and the amount of food is really what drives the cost so you could do a possibly cheaper main course (chicken or pasta vs seafood or filet).  Alcohol is another big cost.  Limiting the options available or bringing in your own can help.  If you're set on dinner, having a friday or sunday reception would also help cut costs. 

Good luck in your planning!

gottahavashorti

A cocktail reception can be more cost efficient during a non-meal time (ie. entire event time 2-5pm or 8-12pm) but often costs more if it is the equivalent of a full meal.  We did a lunchtime cocktail reception and it cost an extra $5pp.

Restaurants sometimes cater or host weddings for a lower food cost than a traditional caterer.  We used Dean and Brown for catering and they are amazing in terms of both food and service with pretty low prices for the area as far as traditional catering goes.  One of my friends used Beefalo Bill (Beefalo Bob?) for her BBQ reception and their food was delicious as well.

irin997

Thanks for all the tips.  We've thought about an outside caterer or restaurant to cater, but I'm having an extremely hard time finding venues that allow outsider caterers.  Most of them have an approved list that you have to pick from.  Of course, I haven't called any of them yet.  We've had our first budget snafoo after talking to my parents and we have a lot of numbers to crunch. 

Thanks for the tips.  Keep em coming if you have more!

bebe876

The guest list is the biggest thing... People think they have to invite everyone and their momma... Dont do it.. Very close friends and family...

Lovie01

    please take your time and plan wisely. The sree will come- in time! Its still so early, do't get stressed now. o this... research all that you need maybe accomplishing a different task (1 or 2) tasks a month. Pace yourself and plan out "to do's. I am getting married in months to come but I have 80% of my tasks done so that I woun't be rushed and have time. I've been planning for 1  1/2 now so... take your time. Engagement and marriage is not designed to be  a "full of stress experience''. Relax, relate, and release the stress and maybe someone close to you can help ou too. I wish you the best. 

irin997

Thanks everyone - I think majority of the stress came from money issues.  But, luckily I think we have most of that taken care of. 

I went with my future MIL this weekend and actually got out and looked at a few venues.  We may have one!!  It's beautiful and in our price range (I think).  We still have some negotiating to do, but I think we can definitely work it out.  I know that once the venue is booked and we have a date, I will feel a ton better. 

Another great thing is we may have some great connections for an inexpensive, but good, photographer and DJ.  Also, FI's uncle is a minister and he will marry us.  Having a few things accomplished feels great, but I can't wait to book the venue and have our date!!

prettymami2

Hello ladies,

I hear you guys on the stress levels. All of this is fun and interesting but also very stressful if you let it get the best of you. My advice would be to go to some of the bridal shows and get business cards from various vendors.

irin997

Thanks prettymami2 - I think the main stress is trying to find a venue in our price range that is what we want.  And my goodness is that difficult.  I've looked at what I feel is every possible option but can't come up with much. 

nford4444

I agree Irin997 I have only been engaged for a little over a month and have had multiple sleepless nights already overthinking things.. think its more excitment over stress. But agree I hope once you find a location and a date it will be a lot less overwhelming.. If you are in the pasadena area.. look into the gathering place-- they only charge $1500 for the venue and its really pretty-- they suggested getting married at downs park==but we have a 200 person guest list so that wouldn't work for us.. The other suggestion they had was to look into Angel's for catering.. I am waiting on some paperwork to check it out.. But have to agree with some of the other girls-- looking into something other than saturday evening and either limit your alcohol to beer and wine or bring in your own liquor!!

Happy Planning... and just remember YOUR NOT ALONE!!! 

alicia4great

Cut the cocktail bar and you will save tons of money!