Confessions/Vents

emarston1

Le's hear 'em!

matuofm

I confess that everything's been going so well for the last couple of weeks that I feel like I'm tiptoe-ing around, waiting for the other shoe to drop.   I've got a nice big list of AWs for tomorrow. 

One thing I CAN complain about, though: what's with this heat?  I'm the type of person who's most happy at about 70, and I can't remember having seen 70 for months now.  Can't wait to get into a new place with central air, cuz I'm getting a little claustrophobic, huddled in my bedroom (the one room in my apartment that's air-conditioned) for the last two months. 

Meegles4

Oh good, it's vent day!

This past weekend, there was major shower drama. I've been the go-between with my mom and FMIL who are planning to co-host it, but getting to that decision has been an ordeal to say the least. Lots of miscommunication and back and forth.
It came to head when I dropped the ball and never closed the loop with FMIL (because I really didn't want to be involved in the shower planning in the first place) and FI decided to bring it up -- and then communicated some things very incorrectly! So I had to have an unpleasant and slightly hostile conversation with my mom and then an awkward conversation with FMIL.

It's also clear my mom isn't a fan of the large hall showers that tend to be the norm these days because she balked when I told her the guest list would likely be 50-60 people (half of whom will probably show as my entire family lives out of state, as do the majority of my bridesmaids). Then again, she also balked when I mentioned that I'd be registering for a KitchenAid mixer, so I think that she has a slightly outdated view of wedding gift-giving.

I thought brides weren't supposed to be involved in the shower planning?! From what I can tell, that is NOT working out to be the case for me. Which I guess is fine, but it really is awkward to be a part of planning a party where I get gifts.

Milsey32

Confession: I miss living in San Antonio and I want to move back. We were only there for 4 months but I reeeeeally miss it. Dan and I have talked about going back in a couple years to stay for awhile... but I know I'll miss my MI family!

MMRoberts11

My mom frustrates me.  I was at her house last night getting family addresses so I can send out my STDs.  I'm not sending them out now but I started getting addresses since I know it will take a while to get everyone's address.  She balked at the idea like every other detail.  Basically, she thinks my wedding is a waste of time and money and I'm tired of hearing from her how everything is a terrible idea.  However, if I don't go see her at least once every two weeks she throws a fit yelling (literally) at me that I'm not including her in things.  It makes me want to move further and further away for grad school.

zulamay

Confession:  I feel happy for the first time in months because I stopped planning for the wedding.  It feels great.  Pretty much I jumped on FI's boat of ignoring the wedding and just thinking about our honeymoon, and I love it!  I think I'll stay on this boat for a few more weeks. 

lesley909

confession: i only worked 4 days last week, had a 4 day weekend and only work 4 days this week and i dont even want to work these 4, i would love a LONG vacation of doing nothing.

rcj2rcd

I have a summer cold and I feel crappy. I just want to go to bed

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:6202e16b-5f0f-4a29-818c-0decbdff08e4Post:849013b5-2812-41c1-8d2e-802d693206fe">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom frustrates me.  I was at her house last night getting family addresses so I can send out my STDs.  I'm not sending them out now but I started getting addresses since I know it will take a while to get everyone's address.  She balked at the idea like every other detail.  Basically, she thinks my wedding is a waste of time and money and I'm tired of hearing from her how everything is a terrible idea.  However, if I don't go see her at least once every two weeks she throws a fit yelling (literally) at me that I'm not including her in things.  It makes me want to move further and further away for grad school.
Posted by MMRoberts11[/QUOTE]

Ugh that sucks I'm sorry :(  No real words of advice just some sympathy!

shesheduke

ARRRRRRRRGH! I know I should be grateful to have a job but I was gone for 5 days as was most of the staff but one of my idiot co-workers decided to send out an email to 10,000 people with my phone number and email address as the contact. WTF that is what we have a general event email box and message box for. So needless to say I came in today to 946 emails that I now have to respond to. I could spit nails and said employee is now off for an additional 3 days. She knew exactly what she was doing and that pisses me off. I hate lazy people that don't want to do their job!

Vent over!

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:6202e16b-5f0f-4a29-818c-0decbdff08e4Post:0267425a-6ddf-4ff6-ae9e-be8535267316">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]ARRRRRRRRGH! I know I should be grateful to have a job but I was gone for 5 days as was most of the staff but one of my idiot co-workers decided to send out an email to 10,000 people with my phone number and email address as the contact. WTF that is what we have a general event email box and message box for. So needless to say I came in today to 946 emails that I now have to respond to. I could spit nails and said employee is now off for an additional 3 days. She knew exactly what she was doing and that pisses me off. I hate lazy people that don't want to do their job! Vent over!
Posted by shesheduke[/QUOTE]
OH HELL NO.  I would be livid as well.  I'm sorry :(

larzhope

I confess I'm highly unmotivated at work and looking forward to hopping on a plane Friday afternoon for our shower/bachelorette party extravaganza.

To all of those with meddling mothers -

My relationship between my mom and I has always always been pretty rocky. she is definitely old school and has an opinon about everything and gets bent out of shape when someone doesn't agree.

I moved to Seattle in March of 2009 and our relationship got a little worse (because every time I talked to her she wouldn't stop telling me how much she missed me), but then it started getting better.  And while we've had our fair share of blow outs while wedding planning - we've REALLY had to communicate maturely and it has been fantastic for our relationship.

I honestly thought at the beginning of wedding planning that if something didn't change between my mom and I, there would be a lot of resentment and bitterness built up that would stay with us forever.  If you are feeling like this - use your wedding as an opportunity to coach yourself on being firm in your decisions, but also learning to probe at what your mom really wants!

lndskelly

This name change business is a nightmare! My H and I were legally married prior to our wedding because I needed health insurance. At that time we decided I would not change my name because I wanted to change it at our wedding. Getting legally married was no big deal to us and we consider our wedding as when we got "married". 

We thought "oh no big deal, we just go to court for a name change, easy peesy". NO SIR! It has been a hell of a process so far - going to court to file the petition, getting fingerprinted and sending those to the FBI so they can confirm I'm not changing my name for criminal reasons, waiting for a court hearing date, on and on and on. The whole process JUST to get the document that says my name is legally changed is costing $350! And all this work before I can even start the rest of the process of changing my soc card, driver's license, my professional license. UGH I wish I had known all this before and just signed the dang marriage certificate with my married name. Poo

Suzette70

Hi!  I'm new here but I'd love to join in the venting!

Just found out that most halls won't make appts after 5 during the week.  They want you to come in Saturday "to see how it's set up".  I know what a hall looks like during a wedding - they are basically all the same .  So am I supposed to take days off of work to check out reception sites?  Or are we supposed to cram all the wedding stuff into Saturdays??  

ahhh.  .. I feel better now.  Thanks!

LOTON01

My FI is working a ton right now and it is making him cranky. I hate it when he gets this way. I feel like nothing I do can change his mood and then I end up frustrated and cranky to.

Meegles4

Darn those meddling mothers. Larzhope, you're right...look at it as an opportunity. I shall tell myself this the next time I find myself crying on the phone at midnight on a Friday night.

Suzette70 -- welcome to the board! Yeah, your weekends will quickly become wedding-centered! But, it's not all bad. When I did my venue search, I booked my appointments (3) on one day, so it didn't get too drawn out. Once you get into other things, some vendors will do weeknights. My photographer, DJ, AND florist were all weeknight appointments. Many vendors can't meet on weekends because they have weddings then! Good luck planning!

Thumper1148

Ugh.  The holiday weekend was such a disaster.  Fi and my sister got into a huge fight (basially because I was getting pushed around by my sister and not saying anything about it).  My parents blamed everything on FI!  It was equally both their fault.  And it hurts to have my parents blame everything on FI.  My sister is a pain.  And the only reason I even tolerate her is for my parents sake.  They know she is a pain, but asks me to deal with her so the family can be together peacefully.  So now they back her and blame my FI!!  Yes, he was wrong too, but it was not all his fault. 

FI immediately apologized that same night to my parents, but both still blamed him and never appologized to him.  So now FI is upset cause my parents haven't appologized to him yet.

I am so hurt and upset by everyone involved.  I don't even want a wedding now.  I just want to elope and not have to deal with any of this drama.  I've been crying every day since Sunday.  I don't want to have to choose between my FI and my family.  I want to spend time with both at teh same time.

I want to fix this all, but from the last conversation from my mom and the last one with FI, It may not be fixable. 

PhoneCardLady

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:6202e16b-5f0f-4a29-818c-0decbdff08e4Post:849013b5-2812-41c1-8d2e-802d693206fe">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom frustrates me.  I was at her house last night getting family addresses so I can send out my STDs.  I'm not sending them out now but I started getting addresses since I know it will take a while to get everyone's address.  She balked at the idea like every other detail.  Basically, she thinks my wedding is a waste of time and money and I'm tired of hearing from her how everything is a terrible idea.  However, if I don't go see her at least once every two weeks she throws a fit yelling (literally) at me that I'm not including her in things.  It makes me want to move further and further away for grad school.
Posted by MMRoberts11[/QUOTE]

Wanna get together and compare notes??

zulamay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:6202e16b-5f0f-4a29-818c-0decbdff08e4Post:a6d70348-de7c-4e55-85ab-d13f85843197">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE] I wish I had known all this before and just signed the dang marriage certificate with my married name. Poo
Posted by lndskelly[/QUOTE]

<div>You totally just saved my butt.  Thanks so much for letting me know this, I thought I'd have plenty of time to change it afterwards.  This sounds so painful! I'm sorry!  But you saved me so have comfort in that. :)</div>

rcj2rcd

Wait - I don't understand. I'm supposed to sign the certificate with my married name? Is the license the same as the certificate? I'm very lost now... Lndskel - Is it different because you had gotten married before? Married ladies, can you tell me what I'm supposed to do?

lndskelly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:6202e16b-5f0f-4a29-818c-0decbdff08e4Post:0d2b9e7b-b9c3-46a2-a89f-eef7701c4510">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait - I don't understand. I'm supposed to sign the certificate with my married name? Is the license the same as the certificate? I'm very lost now... Lndskel - Is it different because you had gotten married before? Married ladies, can you tell me what I'm supposed to do?
Posted by rcj2rcd[/QUOTE]

<div>Sorry for the confusion :)</div><div>
</div><div>At my wedding there were no legal documents as we were already legally married. At my civil ceremony where we got legally married I signed the marriage license with my maiden name, not my married name. On the day of your wedding, if you want to change your name, you sign the marriage license with your new name and that counts as your legal name change. </div>

lndskelly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:6202e16b-5f0f-4a29-818c-0decbdff08e4Post:8ff8495e-c977-4dcd-9d35-d17055fedeb5">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions/Vents : You totally just saved my butt.  Thanks so much for letting me know this, I thought I'd have plenty of time to change it afterwards.  This sounds so painful! I'm sorry!  But you saved me so have comfort in that. :)
Posted by zulamay[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, I'm glad I saved someone from the misery!</div>

sammichele

Wow, there are some really frustrating/sad vents in here today!  I don't have anything much going on, just wanted to send out my sympathies to you ladies  

Thumper - I really hope that this fight blows over and that the relationship with your family and your FI will all work out asap!

matuofm

I KNEW something had to go wrong!  My dress arrived today, and I HATE it! 
*FacePalm*

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:6202e16b-5f0f-4a29-818c-0decbdff08e4Post:b8332ee8-7148-4e26-82fd-9e47f9359d09">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]I KNEW something had to go wrong!  My dress arrived today, and I HATE it!  *FacePalm*
Posted by matuofm[/QUOTE]
What?!  Why?  Were you worried that you weren't going to like it or is this a complete surprise?

matuofm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:6202e16b-5f0f-4a29-818c-0decbdff08e4Post:bd1e40df-e5ff-4146-88b9-dbf642ecf71a">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions/Vents : What?!  Why?  Were you worried that you weren't going to like it or is this a complete surprise?
Posted by emarston1[/QUOTE]

I know it's my own fault for not trying it on at a store before I ordered.  But the style was so incredibly simple, and I have a dress that looks a lot like it that I love - it's basically a sundress, for pete's sake.  I figured - how much could go wrong?  I can always hem it or take it in a bit if I need to.  I knew this was a risk I ran when I didn't go with a bridal shop.  But in fact, it fits fine - it just looks so..<em><strong>.cheap</strong></em>.    And boring.  What looked stunningly simple in a photo just looks like a badly-made church dress in a tacky polyester on me.  I thought I might not LOVE it, and might want to add some embellishment, or something, but I didn't expect to HATE it.  Sigh.  I made an appointment at B.Ella's in AA for Friday. Hopefully I can find something in their clearance section.   So much else is going well that I can't be too upset about this - at least that's what I'm telling myself.  :)

emarston1

Well you certainly have a great attitude about it (I'm not sure I would be that calm and I didn't really stress about much.)  Good luck and I'm sure it will all work out - especially with a talented seamstress! 

rcj2rcd

Melissa - I'm really sorry about your dress not sure if you're in East Lansing often, but try Fantastic Finds. A friend of mine got a really pretty and simple (but nice) dress for $150.

MishGettingMarried

Confession: I've been living in Raleigh with FI now for almost 6 days and I keep getting overwhelmingly home sick. The day we moved, we drove 12 hours straight through the night on no sleep. Once we arrived at our new house I promptly burst into tears. I contributed it to being sleep deprived and figured I would be able to get over it soon.

Just today, I called my Mom at home to 'facetime' on our phones so I could show her our new house. I burst into tears again when she started showing me around our house, cooking dinner and what not. I know this has got to be normal, especially since I've never lived more than 25 minutes from home. It just annoys me that FI and I finally have everything we've been working for (good job, beautiful home, living in a more vibrant area, etc) why is it so hard for me to be anything but depressed?!

For you ladies that have moved from the mitten to another state for work, school or relationships...how long does it take to stop missing our old home and start embracing your new one? 

zulamay

@ matuofm - Try The Limited's online store.  I ordered one short dress from their wedding collection and a bridesmaids' dress, and was really happy with the quality.  Everything was returned and refunded without a hitch.  

@ Mish - The surest way to get over homesickness is to go to Goodberry's frozen custard and get yourself a concrete.  You will not miss Michigan after that.  I grew up in Raleigh and have lived all over the US and the world. Usually it takes about 6 months to really start feeling like the new city is home. If you only been there 6 days then you are totally due for homesickness. Normally major homesickness kicks in about a week after the move and can last several weeks.  It's normal.  The trick is not to go home.  Just tough it out, eventually you'll find your way around town, meet some new people, and start settling in.  Raleigh and the surrounding area is such a great place to live.   There are lots of similarities to Michigan - close to beaches, to mountains, lots of outdoor activities.  Plus, there are some amazing restaurants downtown - have DH take you to the Second Empire restaurant for a date.  Feel better, hang in there, *hug*

MMRoberts11

Mish - I'll be honest, I was never homesick but I missed all my friends who to me were my family.  I lived in WV for a bit when I was a kid and my dad was recovering from brain surgery and my mom was helping him.  I also lived in AZ and CA for a while to work (and honestly to get away from my parents but that's a long story).  I also went away (well 2 hours) to school. 

Does change usually upset you?  Do you know anyone in NC?