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Photography Advice with a little of Venting


Re: Photography Advice with a little of Venting

  • edited December 2011
    You know,  I'm actually kind of hurt by the old-timer thing. FWIW, Alexa, I don't stay around here because I like being bitchy to new brides or being a kill-joy know it all. Au contraire, I still poke around these boards, 5 months married, because I love weddings. I loved planning mine, I love hearing about my friends' weddings, and I love the excitement that surrounds being engaged. I learned a lot in the process, like you will, and I genuinely enjoy reading your plans on here. I resent the insinuation that somehow we are here as a members only club. If it wasn't about you guys and your planning, there would be no reason for me to stick around. I'm here because I've already fought your fights---with parents about money, with moms about details, with bad bridesmaids and vendors who noshow and dress shops who eff up. I'm here because I've met some wonderful women here who I now consider good friends offline.  If I wanted to be "exclusive", I would just email them privately.

    So whatever---ask a thousand dumb questions, dont learn to use the search tool, and insult the women on here who know what they are talking about because they just went through it all. I'll go on the Nest and talk about IUDs and home decor and real estate. Whatevs.
  • edited December 2011
    damnn..all the girl asked was for someone to be nice and help her out, not tell her what a bitch she is. Honey friendors Ive seen are never a great idea. PP did give you good advice on staying away from hiring them. I think you will have a better response with hiring a professional. Some photographers will even work with you or offer a payment plan. My photographer isnt in the highest percentile of pricing but she her online base price is 2500. I dont know what your budget is, but her work is lovely. If that sounds alright to you check out her site. www.cmorrisphotography.com. Good luck in your decision making. 
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  • RoyalOrientRoyalOrient member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_photography-advice-little-of-venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:d3bd463e-d1d8-4b6d-94e3-be4ec76fa18dPost:0d1d78c8-9f6f-4357-9ec9-270fd62dbad2">Re: Photography Advice with a little of Venting</a>:
    [QUOTE]Evseidl, I see you didn't mean  "make me feel better about this situation."  to be offense.  I guess I read it wrong when I interpreted it to mean you were assuming she didn't really want help, she just wanted to be coddled.  My mistake.  but like I said sometimes things come off not how they are intended. Speaking of which, am I misinterpreting the following quote when I think it means that the thought of me and others remaining on these boards makes you shudder.  I hope I am because that does not sound very welcoming. In Response to Re: Photography Advice with a little of Venting : Anyway, I didn't have as much a problem with your comments as what I interpreted to be a rather brusque brush off by spuccio with the "chill out" and "it's not her wedding" or "people who deserve it."  I know old timers, and spuccio herself, have a long history of being kind and helpful to people, but I just did not think that was displayed in her OP in this thread.  I have been lurking for a while, and I have noticed something of a tension between newbies and old-timers in my few months on ALL the boards of The Knot.  I just want to get rid of the tension - can't we all just get along?!
    Posted by AlexaGrant[/QUOTE]

    Hey Alexa, I feel yah. I bounce back and forth from R.I Board to Boston Board all the time and this type of drama is prone to this board. I notice it is usually between newly engaged brides and married brides. Just let it go. Take the good advice and leave the bad.  Different personality types will bump heads.
  • edited December 2011
    Let the record show that spuccio called people "old timers" first at 2/26/2010 1:58 PM CST.

    [QUOTE]"passive aggressive spoiled brat" "need to get a tougher shell" "bigger ass out of yourself" " Are you 12?"
    Posted by EKobrenski[/QUOTE]

    [QUOTE]P.S.  Alexa, you really need to get off your high horse.  Either that, or you desperately need to freshen up on your reading comprehension skills.  There's something not right with you.
    Posted by foolforfood[/QUOTE]

    Thanks, guys, the personal attacks from the "oldtimers" are REALLY welcoming and productive.  I'm glad I'm not the only who notices it.

    <a href="http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/default.aspx?membershipid=9233364410589218&plckUserId=9233364410589218" target="_blank" class="username_knot">spuccio </a>: Thank you for your positive post on your motivations for being here, I appreciate it.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_photography-advice-little-of-venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:89Discussion:d3bd463e-d1d8-4b6d-94e3-be4ec76fa18dPost:6e6c93c8-49d6-434a-a368-ba5e7c9613ae">Re: Photography Advice with a little of Venting</a>:
    [QUOTE]Let the record show that spuccio called people "old timers" first at 2/26/2010 1:58 PM CST. Thanks, guys, the personal attacks from the "oldtimers" are REALLY welcoming and productive.  I'm glad I'm not the only who notices it. spuccio : Thank you for your positive post on your motivations for being here, I appreciate it.
    Posted by AlexaGrant[/QUOTE]

    Quote me all you want.  I'm not trying to be nice.  To be honest, I am usually one of the less snarky people on here.  But, really, you're all crying bc someone told you to chill out?  You need to man up or you're going to have a rough time of it.   To be honest, I think the OP needs to be told she is being rude and ungrateful.  I probably would have said it more nicely if everyone wasnt being a baby. 
  • edited December 2011
    I go away for a few hours and come back to this.  Tisk tisk girls.  Leaving me out of all this fun we're having:

    Alexa- really, are you just TRYING to drum up excitment on this board?  If so, congrats.  You may actually be the last person any one of the 'old timers,' perhaps even new folks, expects to communicate with in any kind of friendly capacity; and i'm not trying to insinuate that you are unfriendly-- utilize your comprehension reading skills to read between those lines...

    Also, for the record-- doing the whole 'quote and comment' thing is really only worth while if you actually understand what the person was saying.  And it's really regarded as bitchy when you quote everyone and have a cheap comeback for it.  Case in point: I meant every word of the last quote you commented on, but you questioned it like I was hovering whether or not I felt OK about you sticking around; not a chance. 

    AND... just for giggles... if you're trying to be welcomed to this board, WHY THE H*LL START THIS WAY?!
  • edited December 2011
    This has certainly gotten past the topic of whether the OP should hire a friendor.  I believe most of the later responses have to do with Alexa's personality issues, not anything substantively related to wedding planning. 

    Alexa, I believe that you've received nothing but support in your various WR posts.  You didn't start to receive luke warm responses until you exhibited your pearl-clutching tendencies (on a FRIDAY afternoon no less!!!) and bizarre interpretation of certain knotties' reponses in a largely NWR post.  You were told that you don't fully comprehend certain statements.  I specifically said that you are a strange bird.  I will stand behind that until you exhibit something otherwise.  I do not speak for others, so please don't characterize the entire board as biitches.  There are times when I call out newcomers and oldtimers alike.  I do not discriminate. 

    You sarcastically asked for alternative wedding forums that would offer a safe and supportive environment.  Okay. Why don't you try weddingwire.com or boston.com.  If you don't like our local board, there's always the national boards, including the Etiquette board.  Try those out for shiits and giggles and see if we're really such a nasty bunch, or whether your pearl clutching tendency is the real problem here.

    This board resembles the same range of opinions and responses you would receive in the real world.  Therefore, not everyone is going to agree with you.  Not everyone is going to like you.  I don't think ppl on this board should be forced to turn up the saccharine level everytime they log on.  They should have the opportunity to be themselves.  So, if pearl clutching is your true nature, let it out, girl!  Nobody is going to force you to leave this board.  It's your choice.
  • edited December 2011
    Keep it coming, ladies.  You "old timers" are only proving my point and showing your true colors.  Funny how it's pretty much only the people with over 1000 posts that start ganging up and making personal attacks.  And as I said before, I'm not the only person noticing it.  Maybe YOUR reading comprehension skills need to be sharpened, see the above people who agree with me.  Ever notice how the boards are mostly you guys clucking and complaining about other girls amongst yourselves?  I will continue to defend anyone on this board that you "old timers" decide to unleash your claws on and gang up on, including myself.
  • penname11penname11 member
    edited December 2011
    [QUOTE]Ever notice how the boards are mostly you guys clucking and complaining about other girls amongst yourselves?  Posted by AlexaGrant[/QUOTE]

    What on earth are you talking about?  Seriously?  The Boston board?  If so, we've apparently been reading two different boards.
  • Shazzie116Shazzie116 member
    edited December 2011
    True colors? Please. Many Boston knotties have been around for a long time and anyone who has lurked, posted, or paid attention in that time knows that this is not a vicious, snarky board. In fact, a lot of friendships have been forged over the years through this board. So maybe you're confusing "jumping down throats" with girls sticking up for each other because we've been here a while and have been through a lot together. 

    We were all new at some point and we've all had our fair share of advice that maybe rubbed us the wrong way. But at the end of the day, you have to let it go. You're not going to like everyone. You're not going to like the way certain people respond. And in turn, not everyone will like you and the way you respond. So get over it, move on, it's a freaking wedding planning board, not the Holy Grail. 
  • edited December 2011
    Wow, I totally just read this entire thing right now. I was wondering why there was 41 replies in this thread.

    Here's my advice, for what it's worth: Photography is one of the most important parts of a wedding, that and the DJ, IMO. Friends, even casual aquaintances, should not take care of this part of the wedding. I almost had my mother's friend DJ our wedding and I'm glad I decided to go in a different direction.

    And most of these Knotties are right, when I was 6 months out on my wedding, it looked VASTLY different than it does now - One month out.

    As for the rest of this thread, it just makes me chuckle. Especially since ppl are trying to say that girls like Spuccio and Evs are the "mean girls" here. That REALLY makes me LOLZ
  • edited December 2011
    Spucc and Evs DID steal my lunch money. *pout*

    Alexa, it sounds like you are surronded by people that tell you everything that you do is special and wonderful.  You seem to be overly sensitive to constructive criticism that isn't worded in the sweetest  possible way.  Like others have said, we alll have gotten our share of criticism, including myself.  I stick around bc I think this criticism/advice has made my wedding better and made me realize how to be a more gracious bride. 

    Find another post where the old timers have "brought out their claws".  I dare you.  Bc there are none.  Basically what happened here is the bride was told (correctly) to chill out, and you were annoying about it and got put in your place. 

    also, if you want someone to sympathize with, there are a bunch of brides on the Etiquette board who just couldnt handle how tough we are here on the Boston board.  Ask them about it. 
  • edited December 2011
    Do you even read what you all are writing?  It's non-sensical!  You're trying to prove this is a nice board by attacking me!  (Or maybe this is some weird way of trying to get me off the boards by frustrating me with your non-sense and down-is-up logic...)

    I really can't believe you guy are so offended by me trying to get people to be nicer and more civil that you try to psychoanalyze me and hurl personal insults.  God forbid we treat each other with dignity and respect!

  • edited December 2011
    Alexa, give me another example of oldtimers bringing their claws out.  You can't.  I think we are an extremely welcoming board and I can not think of one time I have been mean to anyone.  Basically, what we're trying to say is that we are nice to everyone one here, and perhaps sometimes a little blunt.  Nothing wrong with being blunt, and I actually appreciate it from others. 

    People are being snarky to you bc YOU are particularly annoying and sensitive. 

    Also, don't think you are a hero for "sticking up" for others.  I'm pretty sure every person on here can be told to chill out without being too damaged. 
  • edited December 2011
    Let me get this straight.  A handful of us have a problem with YOU, so therefore the entire board is nasty to ALL newcomers?  A logical fallacy at its finest.
  • edited December 2011
    Well said,fff.
  • edited December 2011
    Maybe you all have pushed the "Open Bar" fiasco out of your minds and all the threads having to do with the after effects...

    And this thread began with a person being snarky with OP, not me.  It only evolved into an attack on me because I asked people to be a little nicer.

    I still don't understand why you have a problem with me considering all I did was ask people to have a little more respect and understanding. 

  • edited December 2011
    That was one knottie who felt strongly on the issue, and, yes, it did get a little over the top.  It had nothing to do with new vs. old.  In that whole incident, I did not say one snarky thing, and if I remember correctly spuccio didnt even comment. 

    "Chill out" is not snarky. 
  • edited December 2011
    All I ask is that people CONSIDER being a little bit nicer (not that most people aren't nice) to the newbies as we respect the people with more experience and so that snark or criticism hurts more.  Or don't.  Take it or leave it, whatever - can we close this topic now? 
  • edited December 2011
    WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! Relax ladies on this post. I so didn't even know this was going on all weekend long LMAO...SORRY for all the back and forth over something I was venting on next time I will call my MOH and vent to her rather than have several women feeling like they cannot express themselves. I love the KNOT and will continue asking for advice and getting ideas and suggestions. Kinda amazed with the 50 post too...Just for an FYI I decided to not do the Friendor and hire a professional who is way more accomodating to my needs and budget. Thank you everyone for your advice, opinions, and suggestions...I have moved on for the Photography and looking forward to my cake tasting Wednesday Night
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