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Wedding Etiquette Forum
jessicalynn416
member
Asking guests not to wrap gifts for a shower
jessicalynn416
member
My mother and I attended a bridal shower this weekend for a cousin where the invite asked guests not to wrap presents. They used a poem that said something about putting ribbon on the gifts but not wrapping them because the bride wanted to mingle. I thought this was kind of rude (maybe because I love wrapping?) but my mom thought it was the perfect thing. She wants to do this for my shower now and doesn't think anything is wrong with the idea at all. I just wanted other people's opinions on this; am I overreacting? I don't want to make a big deal asking her not to do this if the general consensus is it's ok.
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Re: Asking guests not to wrap gifts for a shower
If you want to open presents, then tell your mom you would rather not do what cousin Sally did. Tell her you want to be surprised at what each guest gets for you. Your mom should honor your wishes.
I think the exception would be if you have over 100 guests, though. Sometimes that can get a bit long, but if you have your MOH and a BM helping you, it can go faster than you think. I've been to small showers where it took forever to get through the gifts, and I've been to large showers where the gifts were opened (and thanked) at lightning speed.
I know the bride is passing it off like she wants to spend time mingling, but I just think its weird.
After this went through my head, I did think of recycled paper, or a very earth-conscious bride, and I guess I could see that, but in those cases, I think Habs suggestion is better suited so it doesn't totally look like a gift grab.
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I can't imagine it bothering me one way or another as a guest to the shower, but I do think you should get what you want over what your mother wants on this one.
Julie
Not wanting to open gifts at a showers seems odd to me.
[QUOTE]Bleh. Opening gifts is fun, and it gives you chance to say, "Oh! A blender! Thank you so much!" I like watching brides and new mothers open gifts at the shower. <strong>I think the exception would be if you have over 100 guests, though. Sometimes that can get a bit long, but if you have your MOH and a BM helping you, it can go faster than you think. I've been to small showers where it took forever to get through the gifts, and I've been to large showers where the gifts were opened (and thanked) at lightning speed.</strong>
Posted by wrigleyville[/QUOTE]
Do you go to many showers with over 100 guests? Because I would judge the hell out of that.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
A lot of showers in my area are 100+ people, because generally all immediate family (grandmas, aunts, cousins) are invited from both the bride and groom's side, and when your mom and dad may both have 7-12 siblings, that adds up fast, and that would just be one side of the family. Mine will be around 100 and that is only family and about 10 friends, most of whom live in my home town still or within a 10 min drive. I think it depends regionally where you are from on how large or small showers are expected to be.
EDIT: To answer OP, do what YOU want, if you want to be able to unwrap gifts at your shower, just tell your mom that you relaly enjoy it and would prefer that for your shower. All the showers I ever went to (again they were very large) people unwrapped gifts and it didn't take too long, considering the number of gifts. I think people go to a shower expecting you to open gifts. If they would be that bored watching gift openings, they probably wouldn't attend.
This.
I attended a wedding shower for a Greek friend. There were over 150 women there. Her wedding party helped prep the gifts and the unwrapping and stuff went pretty quickly even with that many people. I just dont see any need for this. It's almost as lazy as having guests pre address their own thank you envelope.
Also, it turns the gift table from something pretty into some kind of gross showroom display of items. Like a gameshow or something.
[QUOTE]OP, I don't think it is tacky. I think it's a great idea and I wish my MOH did it. Unlike many brides, I am dreading opening up gifts with people staring and waiting for my reaction. Also, I think it is boring for people to have to sit through it- especially if there are a lot of people attending.
Posted by Leenie10[/QUOTE]
If I can ask, then what are you planning on doing at your shower if you aren't going to open gifts. Yes, It's slightly nerve-racking, but the point, as PPs have said, is to shower the bride with gifts.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Asking guests not to wrap gifts for a shower: This. I attended a wedding shower for a Greek friend. There were over 150 women there. Her wedding party helped prep the gifts and the unwrapping and stuff went pretty quickly even with that many people. I just dont see any need for this. It's almost as lazy as having guests pre address their own thank you envelope.
Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]
Agree with Loopy. To answer J's question, I have been to a few showers of 100ish or slightly higher/lower. In our area, it's common to have a joint shower for both families and if it's a big Italian or Polish family, they tend to get large, especially when you add in friends of the bride.
As Loopy said, in these cases I've seen the BMs begin unwrapping the gifts and opening the cards in preparation so that the bride just has to slide off the paper, ooh and ahh over the gift, and then pass it on to another BM who is organizing the opened gifts. I always felt that was a bit ridiculous too because it felt very much like an assembly line, but with large showers, it's probably the most efficient way and is still better than just asking guests not to wrap anything.
To one of the posters who is nervous about having everyone watch her open presents: it's not that hard. It goes by quickly and presumably you're going to love everything if you've registered for the items. Most people stick to the registry and for the few that don't, I'm sure you can act excited (or perhaps be truly excited if it's a great gift!). Anxiety over opening gifts in front of people shouldn't give you an excuse to just tell the shower guests to bring the gifts unopened.
www.detroitwedding.weebly.com
But I am the guest who at the last bridal shower I went to and they had guests fill out the thank you envelope, I didn't do it. I feel like if I am going to take the time to shop for a gift and attend a party in your honor...you can address my thank you envelope and you can sure as hell tear some pretty paper off that I spent the time and effort to cut and tape to said gift.
FWIW....I am a great gift wrapper and really try to make gifts look nice with my wrap job. I am known even for matching the wrapping supplies to the event. It's a sickness. I know.
[QUOTE]OP, I don't think it is tacky. I think it's a great idea and I wish my MOH did it. Unlike many brides, I am dreading opening up gifts with people staring and waiting for my reaction. Also, I think it is boring for people to have to sit through it- especially if there are a lot of people attending.
Posted by Leenie10[/QUOTE]
Then you shouldn't be having a shower. I know that sounds mean and I'm not saying it that way, but the entire point of a shower is to open presents. This is like saying "I want to have a Super Bowl Party! We will each nachos and drink beer, but we don't own a TV so we won't be watching the game."
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
I just thought I'd throw this out there, but I hate watching people open gifts, so for my shower, I wanted to make this part of the day a little more exciting. We're doing bridal bingo during gift opening (my aunt's idea as she is my host). Everyone will be given a bingo card (and maybe the registry list) to fill out what gifts they THINK I will receive. Then as I open them, they mark their cards and try to get a bingo!!! Just a silly little game, but also a fun way to not only take some of the focus off of me, but also give the guests something to do while they wait for me to open gift after gift. Haha.
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Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]I just thought I'd throw this out there, but I hate watching people open gifts, so for my shower, I wanted to make this part of the day a little more exciting. We're doing bridal bingo during gift opening (my aunt's idea as she is my host). Everyone will be given a bingo card (and maybe the registry list) to fill out what gifts they THINK I will receive. Then as I open them, they mark their cards and try to get a bingo!!! Just a silly little game, but also a fun way to not only take some of the focus off of me, but also give the guests something to do while they wait for me to open gift after gift. Haha.
Posted by lcatterton[/QUOTE]
I love bingo at showers. In fact, I like bingo in all forms as long as there are prizes!
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]<strong>At my sister's baby shower we also set a timer randomly and whatever present she was opening when the timer went off got a prize.</strong> I like the bingo idea too, I may have to float that out there. It's a weird situation, my MOH is my sister who is 21 and a full time student with a full time job and a baby. So she doesn't have a lot of time and my BM is in CA until May '13. So my mom is essentially planning my shower for them but shes not good and is asking for my help with planning and favors while still trying to keep it a suprise. Its also super early so my BM can attend when shes home in Dec or Jan. I'm not comfortable telling guests not wrap presents or to wrap them for that matter so I will try to let her know as nicely as possible. It will most likely be in the 50ish range.
Posted by jessjunk88[/QUOTE]
That's a neat idea too, I've never heard of that! I love shower games, but I'm like a little kid at heart. If you pull out any type of silly thing to do, I freak out! Haha. I will say I hate the toilet paper dress game and the baby poop/candy bar games, as I think they're just dumb!!! Haha. But, I do love me some bingo!!! BINGO!!!!!
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[QUOTE] baby poop/candy bar games
Posted by lcatterton[/QUOTE]
I was at a shower where they melted the candy bars and made people eat it off of diapers. My love of Hershey candy bars nose-dived.
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