Bullying Gone Too Far?

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bullying-gone-far?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:07db50fe-ab27-4301-972b-cc0387bdbbf5Post:7c149023-57eb-41ea-80fa-f7cfb9af2274">Re: Bullying Gone Too Far?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry you went through this Catemeg.  I really don't think that unless you've been the target of bullying, you can really comprehend that they are mean little torturers who know exactly what they are doing and know that they will never have to face any consequences. 
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

I think this is a true fact. I was very severly bullied in my school which was rather astonishing because I was a teacher's kid and my dad worked for the school. He knew what was going on and spoke with admin, I spoke with admin, teachers, etc. He even spoke with the other students about what they were doing and they just laughed and said "there's nothing you can do as long as we don't touch her."
One day it went too far and after crying in the bathroom for an hour I had decided I had enough. I walked into the principals office and told him that if something did not change he would be explaining why I had committed suidice, because obviously no one was going to help me out of this situation. I handed him a list of every harassing comment these students had said to me over the course of the year and waited. This was in 2002 so not that long after Columbine and you would think people would have realized that bullying has very real consequences.

The kids got 10 days of out of school suspension and the entire time I got to hear teachers talk about how ridiculous it was that they were suspended. I was so happy to be gradated and done with those fuuckers.

aprovencher21

I think these kids should be punished.  Hell I was bullied all through middle school and spent most of 7th grade either crying in the bathroom or crying once I was home from school.  I'm just not sure about them being responsible for her suicide.  I've read a few articles besides the one presented and the bullies are not responsible for her mental health issues.  There was clearly a pattern and problem before this all started.  Does this excuse their behavior, of course not.  I do think the administration of the high school should also be held accountable as these kids should have been expelled a long time before this began.

But.....at what point does the victim have to be responsible for her own behavior (I;m playing devil's advocate here don't scream at me)??  There was a pattern of her having issues at other schools and with other girls.  She had attempted suicide before and was in the habit of hurting herself.  I just don't feel this is entirely black/white situation and where is the boundary between ribbing and harrassement?? I'm not even touching cyber bullying because for me that's even more complex.

ETA:  Where on god's green earth were the parent's of the bullies??  If my parents ever heard a word of me behaving like that they would have killed me.  Hell, I think at that point I'd want to go to jail to not have to face my mom and dad.  Also, I do believe the mother of Phoebe should be questioned as to why if all of these problems constantly happened, especially after the first suicide attempt, why wasn't the girl hospitalized for a long period of time?? 

missy68

Mag, for reasons I decline to share publicly here, I understand this, even from an adult perspective. If you haven't been bullied and suffered from a mental illness of any type, you don't know what limit you can be pushed to.  Unfortunately, on both sides of a teen issue, they normally lack the empathy to see beyond their own ego-driven circle and how actions affect others (bullier and victim alike). While an adult might take a second more to think how their "solution" will affect others, a teen doesn't yet have that capacity. I was lucky - I had my second to think.

Yes, they should be punished - administrators, bulliers, parents of bulliers, you name it. Anyone who did it, ignored it, blew it off needs to be held accountable in some fashion that will MEAN something to them. If picking up trash on the side of the road won't force the meaning home, then that isn't the answer. And it sounds like for some, it isn't.