guests dress code

BRITTANY143dsl

ok I have been to weddings where its a formal black tie event super gorgeous venue decor etc then theres guests dressed all kinds of ways all kinds of colors some in cocktail dresses some in sun dresses some in jeans and a collared shirt some in slacks and a tie...how do you "SUGGEST" a type of attire to the guest so that nobody is extremely over or under dressed and that no one particular will sand out in the events photos?

I dont want to be rude but my main concern is for the guests. I hate when I go somewhere under dressed when if someone informed me i could have wore something more appropriate.

also my wedding is waterside I dont want people assuming its a casual outdoor wedding and come in shorts or jeans or something backyard party type...

Habs2Hart

Brittany, I mean this as helpful advice.  You have asked quite a few questions on topics that are asked daily on these boards.  I recommend you lurke a little bit and you will quickly find your answers without flooding the boards with questions. 

kcscejal

Have the wedding invitation reflect the formality of the event in its design and don't stress if some people don't come dressed to your standards.  Do not suggest attire anywhere because it's rude to tell adults how to dress.

[Deleted User]

Ditto Habs.

And it is rude to tell your guests what to wear. They will be able to tell from the fomality of the invites and the location how to dress. If they show up looking like an idiot, the joke is on them, not you.

kcscejal

Yeah and what Habs said  To go along with that, there's an FAQ post at the very top.  Read it.

ahhhitsshannyn

Please, the search tool is your friend.

You should never tell your guests how to dress. They should understand the formality of the event by the invitations. That said, there are always people that feel comfortable in casual attire and they will wear it either way, no need to let it put a damper on your day.

BRITTANY143dsl

thanks for the advice ladies!

and I did read the FAQ and looked thru the board for info on my questions but didnt see any of my questions in the subject lines..i kinda wish people would be more descriptive in the subject line of posts instead of just writing "help" or "ok so now" so it would be easier to find previous posts! IMO

mkrupar

I don't know why if someone underdresses or overdresses this would cause you angst. They look dumb, not you.

redheadfsu

If you want them to dress formal, then have a formal wedding. As in, have very formal invites & a formal venue. The invite tells guests the tone of the wedding. So spend extra money on very formal invites (like letterpress).

LDYGTR13

You're making me sad that I have my name. Please don't make me sad to have my name.

Also: I'm reading your screen name is making me think: BRITTANY-I LOVE YOU-D*CK SUCKING LIPS!

BRITTANY143dsl

I just dont want guests to feel wierd when they come under dressed but I will make sure my invites set the tone for the wedding and dress code! thanks!!


D*CK SUCKING LIPS?? WTH never heard of that before....whats wrong with ur name? im confused!

J&K10910

I'm glad I'm not the only one who associates the letters DSL with d*ck sucking lips.

Anyway, if you expect me to put on a fancy dress and force my H to wear a tux, I expect you to provide me a 5 course meal, top shelf open bar, and the best wedding cake I've ever eaten.  So if you're not prepared to offer those things, you need to kiss your black tie attire good bye. 

Rosie109

Yeah I totally thought you were brittany diick sucking lips as well.

Brandiewine11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c83dbf5-943e-467b-9215-bcde541b20d3Post:ff92d7ee-0d8e-4a04-af76-14d583d1a99e">Re: guests dress code</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for the advice ladies! and I did read the FAQ and looked thru the board for info on my questions but didnt see any of my questions in the subject lines..i kinda wish people would be more descriptive in the subject line of posts instead of just writing "help" or "ok so now" so it would be easier to find previous posts! IMO
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

<div>Spend time reading lots of posts....its call lurking. You'll find lots of answers that way. Also, if you have several questions, ask them all in the same post. The ladies around here are very helpful, so just spend a few weeks lurking and you'll learn a lot. Your wedding is over a year away so you have plenty of time! Good luck!</div>

annakb8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c83dbf5-943e-467b-9215-bcde541b20d3Post:979a491f-9354-457b-92ac-121cf0042ba2">Re: guests dress code</a>:
[QUOTE]Also: I'm reading your screen name is making me think: BRITTANY-I LOVE YOU-D*CK SUCKING LIPS!
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

Yep, this is pretty much the only thing I have noticed about OP's myriad posts today.

LDYGTR13

I wonder if LL came back as BRITTANY

tayylor65

That's where the hour of the wedding comes into play.  Typically, a morning/early afternoon wedding is casual--I'd never wear jeans to a wedding but I'd wear a sundress for this time frame.  If the wedding's around 5 it's more formal; 6 is traditionally black tie or even white tie (with tails and ladies wear white gloves) but no one really does that anymore.  Our weddings at 6 for example so my BMs are in long dresses and I expect most people will be in cocktail dresses and older ladies in floor length dresses.  So, if you want to have an "elegant" formal wedding, do it in the evening.

LoveMuffins

If you have a wedding website with info about the wedding on it you can also include an FAQ section with:

What should I wear to the wedding?:
Black-Tie / Semi-Formal /Cocktail Attire / Casual

I have an FAQ section on my wedding website because it drives me nuts when people have wedding websites and don't answer questions like that

BRITTANY143dsl

LL as brittany?? your not making sense and your being extremely rude if you dont have anything to contribute to the post dont post..

and thanks ladies for the advice!

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c83dbf5-943e-467b-9215-bcde541b20d3Post:99828a69-d471-4503-94a1-94d129fc9e4e">Re: guests dress code</a>:
[QUOTE]LL as brittany?? your not making sense and your being extremely rude if you dont have anything to contribute to the post dont post.. and thanks ladies for the advice!
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

If you lurked 'round these parts, you'd know who LL is.

ALSO, (and I can't believe I'm saying this, because this is NEVER my line) this is a public message board. I can post as I please within the TOS. You're asking a LOT of questions that get asked a lot. That's why I wanted you to not make me feel bad about the fact that my name is also Brittany. And I mean, DSL in my world means 2 things, 1) Internet connection or 2) D*ck Sucking Lips. I dont know if you have DSLs. I wasn't saying you had them, I was just saying that that is what your name made me think of.

My name makes my BFF think "Lady Getter." It sucks, b/c I dont want to get the ladies.

Now chill out, yo.

BRITTANY143dsl

for one how am I asking ALOT of questions? I posted 3 on this board since I have gotten this account for two you just said this is a public community and we can post w/e we want so who cares if I post alot right? im new and thought this was the whole point of the community board to ask and get answers RELATING to your post....your reply had nothing to do with my post and was rude assuming it meant what you said.. you made me feel bad with your post and i was confused about you saying it makes you hate your name and your response was LL .......I am chill I am excited to get this wedding stuff going! thats why I have so many question and i was hoping to get helpful advice but Ill take the good with the bad..........

BRITTANY143dsl

and to clear up the DSL it is intials of a friend who has passed so I hope it makes a little more sense now brittany I love you and there name...never heard of the d*ck sucking lips or else I would have NEVER put it up....is there a way to change it?

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c83dbf5-943e-467b-9215-bcde541b20d3Post:33ff3930-c5a7-49a1-9f24-9ed17d9856fd">Re: guests dress code</a>:
[QUOTE]for one how am I asking ALOT of questions? I posted 3 on this board since I have gotten this account for two you just said this is a public community and we can post w/e we want so who cares if I post alot right? im new and thought this was the whole point of the community board to ask and get answers RELATING to your post....your reply had nothing to do with my post and was rude assuming it meant what you said.. you made me feel bad with your post and i was confused about you saying it makes you hate your name and your response was LL .......I am chill I am excited to get this wedding stuff going! thats why I have so many question and i was hoping to get helpful advice but Ill take the good with the bad..........
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

If you are going to remain on The Knot & post on the international boards, then relax. Stop creating drama. By posting dramatic posts like the above you will only make it worse. Take the comments as an adult & don't throw a verbal hissy fit.

Bubbalub

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c83dbf5-943e-467b-9215-bcde541b20d3Post:33ff3930-c5a7-49a1-9f24-9ed17d9856fd">Re: guests dress code</a>:
[QUOTE]for one how am I asking ALOT of questions? I posted 3 on this board since I have gotten this account for two you just said this is a public community and we can post w/e we want so who cares if I post alot right? im new and thought this was the whole point of the community board to ask and get answers RELATING to your post....your reply had nothing to do with my post and was rude assuming it meant what you said.. you made me feel bad with your post and i was confused about you saying it makes you hate your name and your response was LL .......I am chill I am excited to get this wedding stuff going! thats why I have so many question and i was hoping to get helpful advice but Ill take the good with the bad..........
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

<div>You have FOUR posts on the first page of this forum. That is a lot of questions, most of which could have been answered if you just lurked more.  Plus, lurking allows you to get a feel for the board, its posters and their personalities. It is really annoying to the women who answer questions here to answer the SAME question by multiple posters over and over again within a short period of time. All of your questions have been asked and recently, too. </div><div>
</div>

J&K10910

I still want to know if you're feeding me a 5 course meal with a top shelf open bar.

noodle_oo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c83dbf5-943e-467b-9215-bcde541b20d3Post:d73b6748-41ee-47ef-892c-2bae6e045014">guests dress code</a>:
[QUOTE]ok I have been to weddings where its a formal black tie event super gorgeous venue decor etc then theres guests dressed all kinds of ways all kinds of colors some in cocktail dresses some in sun dresses some in jeans and a collared shirt some in slacks and a tie...how do you "SUGGEST" a type of attire to the guest so that nobody is extremely over or under dressed <strong>and that no one particular will sand out in the events photos?</strong> I dont want to be rude but my main concern is for the guests. I hate when I go somewhere under dressed when if someone informed me i could have wore something more appropriate. also my wedding is waterside I dont want people assuming its a casual outdoor wedding and come in shorts or jeans or something backyard party type...
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

The bolded part of your post makes me think that you mostly care about whether or not an underdressed guest will ruin your photos.  Seriously, you need to let go of the control freak-ness and the obsession with everythign being perfect.  it is rude to assume your guests will not know how to dress themselves without you telling them.  And really, you will be way too busy to care anyway.  What's more important, celebrating with your nearest and dearest or having "perfect" pictures? 

J&K10910

I don't even remember what most people wore to our wedding.

BRITTANY143dsl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c83dbf5-943e-467b-9215-bcde541b20d3Post:b05bd132-bc3f-45e1-a4d6-e3ffe1afbc96">Re: guests dress code</a>:
[QUOTE]I still want to know if you're feeding me a 5 course meal with a top shelf open bar.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I am having a served cocktail hour with 11+ different hors dorvs (sp) and then having a buffet with 4 entrees, sides and salad bar and have decided to have an open bar with wine beer champagne and alcohol(dont kno what is considered top shelf exactly but we are having grey goose vodka, jack daniels, henessy, the regular club liquor I guess you can say) its a buffet but we are having servers serving at the buffet and replenishing drinks around the tables....

im not asking anyone to wear a tux and fancy dress I just dont want some guests to feel uncomfortable if they are under dressed like jeans and tshirts but i guess thats there deal if they are uncomfortable or not and I will try and emphasis that its semi formal on the invitations

LDYGTR13

You've asked 3 questions since I've been gone for lunch. And your name sticks out like woah. Probably b/c it's my name.

I'm one of the NICE posters around here - another thing you'd know if your lurked. If you think I'm snarky, just you wait, sisterfrand. I love these girls, but they'll tell you, just like they told me back in the day, that you're being a little cray cray.

My post had nothing to do with your questions in this post because holy moly lady, you're just a little overzealous. I just need you to take deep breaths, lurk and maybe use the search bar a little bit.

K?

Let's start over.

Hi, I'm LDY. You ask a lot of questions.

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c83dbf5-943e-467b-9215-bcde541b20d3Post:af0dd355-70c9-46b4-bc0d-2685252f3c9a">Re: guests dress code</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: guests dress code : I am having a served cocktail hour with 11+ different hors dorvs (sp) and then having a buffet with 4 entrees, sides and salad bar and have decided to have an open bar with wine beer champagne and alcohol(dont kno what is considered top shelf exactly but we are having grey goose vodka, jack daniels, henessy, the regular club liquor I guess you can say) its a buffet but we are having servers serving at the buffet and replenishing drinks around the tables.... im not asking anyone to wear a tux and fancy dress I just dont want some guests to feel uncomfortable if they are under dressed like jeans and tshirts but i guess thats there deal if they are uncomfortable or not and I will try and emphasis that its semi formal on the invitations
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

Sounds like you are having a normal wedding...

If people wear jeans they look foolish. Plus anyone who would wear jeans to a wedding wouldn't notice or care if you told them different. So just don't worry about it.  Just have formal invites (just do not write anything about dress code anywhere).

opalsky007

I don't think she's the one being overzealous here.

Hi there, OP. I think you're on the right track with the invitations. It'll all be fine.