Just another RSVP Vent

packlite

Really just needed to say that as our planner is collecting our RSVPS it amazes me at the responses (and lack of responses) we continue to get.  So many people have yet to RSVP and their response has been "Well, I told you guys we were coming, so I didn't know we needed to put the card in the mail too!".  Really, I cannot keep track of what one person tells me these days, let alone 200 ppl.

Several other people have taken it upon themselves to add 1,2, even 3 people to their RSVP card.  Including all their kids and grandkids. 

We have also had people say well I want to bring my baby/grandbaby - this will be a great opportunity to show him/her off and so everyone can see him/her - umm no, its not a great opportunity for that.  One family member RSVPd with his kid and said this, and we had the whole "no kids" speech suggested so many times on this forum.  I also suggested a list of childcare providers that our planners contracts with and he was not very happy and said "We know how to take care of our kids, thank you very much.".  Uhh ok then.

And lastly, there are people we did not invite who have asked if we can just send them an invite so they can have one, b/c they are feeling left out.  They said they won't come ,but would just like the invite!

I cannot wait to see what surprises await us with the next batch of RSVPs and special requests

What was your craziest/strangest/funniest RSVP story?

schlcnslr

OMG!!! Do we have the same guest list because I have experienced almost every conversation/situation you listed!!!!!!!!!?? I now see that common sense is not that common!!!!  You are not alone.

kgrollmus

I am two weeks out from my wedding, had the RSVP deadline as August 21st, and STILL have yet to hear back from several families and people are still randomly changing the number of people in their party.  "Luckily" and i use that word very loosely, we severely over estimated the number of guests that would RSVP yes.  We invited about 340 people, told the reception venue to expect 250 (which would be the minimum number of people we would pay for, but as the event neared we could add people, and as of right now only about 190 people are going to come.  We are stuck paying for 60 people that won't even be coming.  With that being said, if a bunch of extra people show up who thought RSVP'ing was unnecessary there will be accommodations but I would almost hope that there weren't for their lack of courtesy.  My only fear of that would be that the people who actually did RSVP would get short-changed.  Buh.

packlite

exactly! and then i look like a complete biyotch having to say "no your extra 5 family members are not able to come, but we hope you can still make it "

glad to know im not alone here!

malibustacy01

i know what you are going through...i got married 2 months ago and i tried to follow etiquette closely, but i learned the hard way that with my fiance's family, forget etiquette and just be blunt...people were rsvp'ing their whole family even tho i addressed only "mr and mrs", people rsvp'd themself and their spouse and still brought their child to the wedding...grr! the icing on the cake was a lady whom we told verbally no children, but she still put the child on the rsvp...i called her to let her know children were not invited, and she yelled at me saying i should have been more clear then, and now they were not coming and oh, dont expect a present! then hung up on me.  it was a great day in the end, but left me wondering how after people have been getting married for hundreds of years, do people still not have a concept of wedding etiquette?!?

akhensley81

Even though you're probably wondering who the helll these people are and why are you related to them? ... the truth is this is actually really normal. I had similar issues. It's frustrating, but people just don't think.

I got everything from a cousin who RSVP'd with a guest named I Think So (who would be eating the Steak dinner) to another cousin who said, "Oh I didn't realize that 'no kids' meant 'no kids' for everyone" to MIL who said, "I didn't think this was an 'invitation only' event" AFTER we caught her 'personally' inviting people on Facebook.

Deep breaths.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

We just got an RSVP that said, "It was so nice for you to invite us! I wish we could all make it there! - The Smith/Jones clan" Um, we only invited FI's friend and said friend's kid, but whatever. At least they aren't actually coming. We ARE inviting children and we're inviting singles with guests, so I thought that would put an end to anyone adding extra guests, but apparantly not.

I also had a friend who RSVPed for her and "guest" (who I assumed was her new boyfriend) and broke up with him like 2 days after I got the RSVP. So I'm waiting until she's not pissed off about the break up anymore to ask, "yeah, so about the guest thing..." I had another friend RSVP "Jim Jones and guest" with only one meal choice too. As if his guest doesn't have a name or want anything to eat.

mica178

We're starting to get emailed RSVPs (because people have either lost their invitations or RSVP cards or just can't be bothered to put the stamped card in the mail), there are a bunch of "tentative yeses" (need one or two more weeks to decide), and so far 5 people have emailed to ask if a relative can switch from  "no" to a "yes."

My favorite is one of FI's friends said "yes" then said that he's still deciding between which of two girls he's bringing.  Wow. 

Loopyseven

My cousin called yesterday cause he wants to leave our reception early to go meet his gf in Columbus for a wedding in Cincinnati the next day so he wanted me to put him at a table and just not get him a meal since he wants to be on the road right about when dinner will be served... We finally settled on him just leaving before dinner since cocktail hour will be in a separate place in the facility.  I am 90% sure he'd skip it entirely (won't hurt my feelings) if it was up to him.  But, he's a 26 year old who's afraid of his mother and she told him he needed to come to my wedding over his gf's cousin's wedding "cause it's not like they're even engaged or anything serious"... 

quotequeen

Yeah... as you can see my RSVP date is tomorrow and I'm still waiting to hear from over 100 people.

anewday

I stated on the invitations the persons name and the number of seats reserved.  A friend emailed me and told me that she was bringing her guy friend and probably her grandson.  The invitation was addressed to only her and her husband.  I called her in a hurry to let her know only the names on the card are invited.  She said that her husband had to work so she called her friend to invite him (without FIRST asking me if it was okay). 

I told her I'm sorry but she couldn't bring her friend or her grandson because if her husband wasn't able to make it, it would leave room for us to invite other people that WE KNOW.  We have limited seating of 100. 

nikiandchris

I'm 2 weeks out and we didn't have too many problems with RSVPs. We did the whole 'no kids' thing and only had 1 person think she could bring her kid anyway (I just called her and said, uh no, end of problem).

We had a friend of the family ask if they could bring their mom (who is about 80 and I've never met) because she will be in town and they didn't want her to have to sit in their house all alone most of the day/all night. Per my mom, she is coming, whatevs.

My purpetually single bridesmaid RSVPed with a date, so I asked her who she was bringing, to which she said, well I don't know but I hope I find someone. So I'm still waiting on that.

The craziest thing we got though happened this weekend. Got a facebook email from a girl I went to HS with, never once hung out one on one and haven't seen her in SEVEN years. She emailed to ask why she wasn't invited to the wedding. SERIOUSLY??? My response was: "Because I haven't seen you in 7 years, and even back then we were never close." Send. Hahaha.

Our due date for RSVPs was last Friday, and as of today we have received responses from everyone. Of course, I did a little harrassing via email last week and this past Monday-- that helps. Lots of "totally understand if you can't come, just need to know one way or the other for head count purposes".

250 invited, 179 coming.

packlite

Today is our RSVP deadline, I cannot wait to hear from our planner what the latest status is - should be an interesting update!  I am glad to hear I am not alone with all the crazy requests and people just inviting whoever they want.  It's also funny that the people who ASK where the invites are, we not even on our radar of people we would invite.  Like...they never crossed our minds!  I would feel a bit better if it was people who we thought OH YEAH how could I forget so-and-so!

@quotequeen - I am hoping you had 100 envelopes in your mailbox the other day too ;-)