Officiant Poll

agk0125

How did you choose your officiant?FI and I wanted to ask his pastor from his childhood in North Carolina, but it would be too expensive since we'd obviously feel obligated to pay for his plane, hotel..After running the numbers we just can't do it.Now we're left without any ideas. Maybe a poll will help.

FutureMrsDudley55

My cousin is an officiant so we asked him and he said he would be honored to marry us. I'm thrilled because I wanted someone to marry us that we both knew and that knew us since we don't go to church.

jajph1974

I went with the officiant that was recommended by my catering hall. she's done several ceremonies there, so I figure she knows the drill.

fireflyz56

No one in our family would be able to officiate and we aren't religious, so we ended up going with a local "business".

kkchisholm

Niether of us are really affiliated with a specific church anymore, and one day I was talking with an aunt I am extremely close with, and she happens to have her officiant licence and offered to do the wedding. So she will be our officiant. I am really excited about it.

Ssaaraahh

We decided to use a judge, so we called the county where we were getting married and asked if they had a list of judges/retired judges that would travel to our venue to perform our ceremony. They gave us a list of about 10 judges. We contacted each of them and inquired about price and availability. Anyone who didn't answer or return our call within a week, anyone who was rude, and anyone who was unavailable was of course eliminated. Of the remaining judges, we chose the least expensive.

Brie2010

We're getting married at my alma mater and using the university chaplain.  He's pretty flexible and seems nice enough.  Works for me.

agk0125

Sarah - Did it bother you at all having someone you didn't have a relationship with do it? I think we're going to have to go a similar route, but it just seems so weird to have one of the most important things that will happen in my life be led by someone I don't know.

mouse10031978

We just found someone online and then emailed with her and set up a meeting. We totally hit it off! 

kissybee

We found a service online, and they have pics and bios of all of their officiants.  We went with the one we liked the look of best. But we're probably weird because the ceremony is the least important part of the day for both of us.  So we don't really care who does it, as long as they know what they're doing.

agk0125

So we don't really care who does it, as long as they know what they're doing.I'm the opposite. This is the one thing so far that I'm being sentimental about. It's stressing me out.

ThePinkSuperhero

We're members of a church.  The church is currently between pastors (interim is about to leave), so we're not sure yet who will marry us!  Hopefully we'll have a permanent pastor by the time the wedding rolls around!  If not, we'll dig around the synod for somebody.

weddnovice

It was really important to me to have a spiritual ceremony (as opposed to a judge officiating) so I found an inferfaith minister.  It was great, I wrote most of the ceremony myself.  If you can't find anything online, check out some bridal shows in your area.  Good Luck!

whitsy

I won't be much help, since we are just using the youth pastor at our church. He's fun and modern, and I just know he is going to make us laugh all through our ceremony We are also closer to him than the main pastor at our church.

kissybee

agk, do you care if it's a pastor?  If not, you could ask a friend or relative to get ordained and do it.  Or how about an old favourite teacher if you can get in touch?  We did contemplate having a friend do it, but in the end we didn't think anyone would be able to keep a straight face, so we went with a pro instead.

sucrets4

BFF got ordained online and married us.  Loved it!

agk0125

kissy - we're not religious, so it doesn't have to be a pastor or anything like that. We thought about asking a friend to get ordained, but we couldn't think of anyone to ask.I guess we'll end up hiring someone and trying to get to know them a little bit. It  makes me feel a little better about it seeing how many ladies here did the same thing.

atlcatlover

My Mom's MOH was actually our officiant and it was incredibly special to have that relationship with the person marrying us.She did pay her own airfare, but we paid for her hotel, and then gave her a very generous cash gift to offset any of her other expenses.  It was worth every penny.

kissybee

catlover, that's a great idea!

ggmae

We were originally going to have DH's grandmother's pastor from FL marry us. DH and his family are more religious than myself and my family, and it was important to them that we have a pastor officiate. After speaking with the pastor, we learned that because some of my beliefs differ from his (I was honest about what I believed and didn't believe), he refused to marry DH and I. The pastorr also advised DH against marrying me because of our differing religious beliefs. Assshole. So, we started looking elsewhere and we found our JOP online. We chose her because she understood that it was important to help us create a ceremony that was special to us both as individuals and as a couple. I would start calling around to local churches or looking up pastors online.

ggmae

If you want a friend to be ordained, make sure to investigate marriage laws in your state. CT doesn't recognizes marriages performed by someone who became ordained solely for officiating purposes. That's why we went to JOP route.

mlheadle

One of our close friends became an officiant to marry some of our other friends....since then he's been quite busy - we like the idea of being married by someone who knows us very well. Marriage is very intimate and we want as few stranger people involved as possible.....your idea was very awesome but it's hard to balance ideal with financial reality - I hope you get some good ideas.

brookelynpaisley

We don't go to a church at all, and we wanted someone who knows us both to perform the ceremony. I have a college friend whose faith I respect and I asked him if he would be willing to be ordained for us. Thankfully he was, and we've worked with him to write a non-denominational ceremony.

sucrets4

ack - where are you getting married?  My best friend is awesome!  She was an opera major in college...not like she's singing, but her stage presence is amazing.  I'd highly recommend her. 

ggmae

This is what I was talking about w/ CT. Apparently NY is safe. [url]<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/05/fashion/05marry.html?_r=1" rel='nofollow'>http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/05/fashion/05marry.html?_r=1</a>[/url]

longboatbride

We were recommended several through our DOC. We spoke to several and chose the one that seemed the best match. However, it was a women and DH wasn't sure about it. So I invited her to lunch and we all hit it off. She created a beautiful ceremony for us.

agk0125

Sucrets - we're in NY.

Ssaaraahh

Didn't bother us at all not knowing the officiant. We met once before and made sure that he was going to be ok. He was very pleasant and we liked how he did the ceremony.

sarabellam

We used my dad. Since he's a priest, and came REAL cheap, we figured whatthehell. ;-)

agk0125

Haha, I know that! I meant, what boro are you getting married in, or outside of the city?Haha oh. We're having it upstate two and a half hours north of the city near Woodstock. What one would call "bumblefuckk."

fangsiting

My dad is a pastor & he's marrying us.  I'm assuming he's free--if not, I will ask my parents to pay