Relationship poll

jilybeans4

I'm tying up our ceremony and it got me thinking about relationships.1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long?2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"?3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry?4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship?5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH?

louisvillebride21

1. no, we had to finish school in different cities 2. I would say about a year in. Less than that when making plans that involved the both of us. 3.I knew right away. I had loved him for so long before we got together. 4. He is still trying to grow up. He hangs out with some guys that are younger than him. He sees them doing things and he misses it sometimes. That, and him being obsessed with his car. 5. No doubts about marrying him, just about getting married in general. I'm just scared that it won't work out. We both come from divorced parents and we're trying so hard not to be like them.

tlv204

1. Yep, for about 8 months.2. When we moved in together.  3. Probably about a year into our relationship4. Lately, deciding where to buy a house.  During the wedding, religious differences.  Day to day, probably money.5. Not really.  I stopped to think a few times just to evaluate our relationship and make sure I was making a good decision, which I think is a healthy thing to do, but always ended up deciding I was doing the right thing and wouldn't have it any other way.

mwhitson14

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long? Nope2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"? Just recently, since we've gotten so close to the wedding. He's still not there though.3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry? About a year after we started dating.4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship? Our families.5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH?  Not about marrying him really, just scared about things working out for the long run. Not that we haven't tried to prepare ourselves, with counseling and such, but it's still scary.

temerityjane

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long? We do live together. I've been here since March and we're getting married next October so it'll be about a year and a half. 2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"? Buddy and I were a team from the start. 3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry? I don't know that I ever had such a realization. 4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship? Our living situation. 5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH? That's a tough question. We've only been engaged a month or so, and every once in a while he'll do something, like this annoying laugh thing he does when talking to strangers, that makes me go, "Really? That, forever? REALLY?" but no major doubts. I think I have my moments of doubt about getting married in general, but I'd like to think that that's common.

KA2

1. nope - never lived together 2/3. I think right from the very beginning we knew we wanted to get married so I can't point to a specific time when it switched from I to we or say at the point I realized I was with the person I wanted to marry - it hasn't been a perfect rosy relationship all the way but for the most part, we've always known what we wanted out of the relationship4. hmm my hair - I can be quite tomboyish sometimes and he likes pretty put together lady.. but I'm almost completely there :)5. no I don't have doubts

jilybeans4

1. Yes - for over 4 years. I think it was almost 4 years ago this month actually. 2. This one has been an odd one for me. I was single for so long before FI that it was difficult to stop thinking about what is best for just me and start thinking what is best for us. I'm stilling working on using "we" in conversations : ) 3. I'm not sure. It was only within the last year that I realized I wanted to...before that I wasn't sure how we'd work out. We've been through a lot together and I think it has made us grow as a couple. I don't think it suddenly hit me at any one moment though. 4. Money. He likes to spend, I like to have padding in the budget. 5. Yes and no. Not most of the time, but there is always that "what if this is the wrong choice" thought that pops up every once and a while. I can't imagine life without him and I want to spend my life with him...but I always get cold feet about major decisions (and I've picked some things I wish I didn't, like my grad school major) so I tend to second guess myself sometimes!

lyndausvi

1.  almost 2 years. (almost from the beginning) 2. from the beginning 3. a few days after meeting him 4. We do not have any stress or tension in our relationship.  DH has stress from work, but it does not come into the relationship.5.  nope. 

lauralaur

1. Yes, we're getting married in November, have been living together since January. 2. When fi got an apartment by himself that I was helping him pay for; about a year and a half into our relationship. 3. About six months in. It just hit me one day that this was the guy I wanted to marry. 4. Probably money. We consult each other on major purchases, but still have separate finances. Fi has a significant amount of debt, while I have none. He thinks it's ok if you can't pay off your credit card bill one month, I freak out if I don't think I can pay my credit card bill one month. But, we do a fairly good job of keeping each other in check. 5. Never.

Nebb

1. We lived together about 2.5 years before the wedding2. Once we lived together. Before it was a LD relationship and I still felt single most of the time because he had no phone so it was the occasional email and visit. Once I moved in though it was definitely WE because I couldnt just do wahtever the eff I wanted anymore3. After about a year or so living together4. His "career" takes up a lot of time, and in order for him to become successful he needs to work on his art a lot. I have adhd tendencies and interupt his work time a lot without meaning to which upsets him and then upsets me when he gets upset.5. Not about marrying him no. We fought a LOT the first year we lived together before really getting used to how eachother fights and what our needs were and it was rocky then but things are great now.

LaFemme86

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long? -Yes, for 4 years. 2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"? -From the start... but moreso after we bought a home together. 3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry? -Not long after we met-- a month or so. 4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship? -It's hard to say... can't put my finger on one thing. We have lots of different stresses (in a new country, learning a new language, me trying to find a job) but it doesn't affect our relationship. 5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH? -Nope... wouldn't of married him if I did.

Ciaram22

1) Yes for 3 years.2) Once I moved in. After 1 year of dating.3) After about 2 years of dating.4) Trying to distance myself from my over bearing family.5) I did at one point but he immediately changed my mind doing things for me and being there for me through some tough times.

katiewhompus

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long? - We lived together for 1 1/2 years before getting married.2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"? - The things we bought together were always "ours". I think after the first time we moved together everything was ours as well. 3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry? - Instantly. I always thought it was weird calling him my boyfriend because husband just made more sense to me.4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship? - Our work, we both work long crazy hours and my work treats me like crap. He gets worked up over it.5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH? - Not over marrying him but I did have a second of "I'm getting married, there's no turning back, am I sure this is it?"

Sooles

1. i just moved in 3 months before the wedding. also we were roommates in high school. 2. after we were engaged a few months. everything is 'ours' now and not mine or his. 3. about a month after we started dating. we were engaged within a few months of dating. crazy.4. me being a b*tch. also we argue about money sometimes but usually agree about spending/saving.5. never have. i have no doubt in my mind. 

ricksang

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long? Yes. Three years2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"?About three months into the relationship.3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry?Two weeks after we got together. Of course we waited! 4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship?Food. True story.5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH? At first yes, because I have been married before and it did not work, thus I was a little scared.

tlv204

Random question, sorry to threadjack and be really really depressing, but does anyone else ever wonder which knot people will get divorced and which ones will stay married?  Clearly I have no idea since I don't know any of you in real life and can't tell the future, but I just wonder...

ggmae

1. Yes, 7 months. 2. Day 1. 3. Day 1. - We had known each other for 6 years prior to dating and I always had a feeling that I was meant to be with him. 4. Money. 5. Nope!

ricksang

Random question, sorry to threadjack and be really really depressing, but does anyone else ever wonder which knot people will get divorced and which ones will stay married? No but I wonder this about friends a lot.

dnb1982

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long? we lived together for a year and a half before we got married 2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"? about 5 months in 3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry? about 6 months in 4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship? money,. we both have student loans to pay off 5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH? not once.

tlv204

No but I wonder this about friends a lot.Me too.  There are a few couples we know (some not married yet but planning on it) that I would actually put money on splitting up if I was a jerkier person. Since I'm not, we just talk about it behind their back.  Wait, I am a jerky person.

lyndausvi

Random question, sorry to threadjack and be really really depressing, but does anyone else ever wonder which knot people will get divorced and which ones will stay married? No but I wonder this about friends a lot. DITTO.  I can name 3 couples right off the bat that if I was told they were divorcing I would not be surprised.

amber1011

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long? We've been living together for about 3 months now. It will be over a year by the time of the wedding.2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"? About a year into our relationship. We went to all family/holiday functions together (and still do).3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry? About 6 months in. No one takes that seriously at 16 lol, but we've lasted and I love him dearly.4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship? His family.5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH? I have doubts about marrying into his family sometimes, but not much about him.

ricksang

Since I'm not, we just talk about it behind their back. Wait, I am a jerky person. BWAHAHAHAHA. , Wait. I do that too.

IrishBrideND

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long? no although we would have if circumstances had been different. 2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"? as soon as we started talking about marriage (about a year in)3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry? see above4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship? 5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH? no

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

1. Yes...after 4 months of dating (almost a year and a half when we get married) 2. Pretty much as soon as I thought of us in a relationship (I'd say a month in) 3. See above. No point in getting into a relationship if I couldn't at least imagine marriage on the horizon. I knew for sure not too much longer afterwards. 4. We really don't have any. The wedding stresses me out, but that doesn't really affect our relationship. 5. Nope. I worry about marriage, but I know that if I'm going to get married, he's the one I'm going to marry.

bbyckes

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long?Yes, we are currently living together.  It's going on 3 years.2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"?Probably right  before we moved in together.  We were starting to talk about the future and it just became a natural progression.3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry?As cheesy as it sounds - our first meeting.  I knew he'd be the one I'd marry.4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship?Sometimes his ego.  He is very sensitive. Me, not so much.5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH?Fleeting thoughts - nothing that made me absolutely question my decision.

anna.oskar

1. Yeah, I moved in 2 months after we got engaged2. Just recently it's gotten more natural to say "we".3. I only figured it out 2 days before he proposed.  Guess he knew way before me.4. His mother.  5. Sure, but they're all silly and my way of trying to sabotage myself.

megk8oz

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long?**By the time of the wedding, it will be a little less than 2 years2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"?**About a year into the relationship3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry?**About a year & a 1/2 into the relationship4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship?**This might sound lame, but we both have some self-esteem issues, which turns into both of us going through "I'm never going to be good enough for you" funks.5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH?**The night before we got engaged (Which I didn't know he was planning on proposing the next day) was also the night before we closed on our condo. Some family issues erupted that night and I was scared that if I wound up marrying ANYBODY I'd end up having my heart broken. I obviously got past it.

mandysmear

1. Did you live with your FI/DH before marriage? For how long? yes.   For 3.5 years.2. When did you (or did you) start thinking of things less as "I" and more as "we"? I still consider myself an I.  I consider us a we as well.  It just depends on the situation.  3. When did you realize you were with the person you wanted to marry? When my mom died and he stuck with me through all the shiitiness I knew that we could make it through everything.  4. What is the biggest source of stress or tension in your relationship? Lately?  One of his jobs.  5. Did you/do you ever have doubts about marrying your FI/DH? No.  I had/have normal doubts like when a couple I know split I think why will we make it and they won't.  What is so different/special about us?

bel138

1. 6 months when the wedding rolls around2. Immediately3. When I woke up next to him the morning after our first date. And I swear nothing happened. ;)4. The wedding...I'm totally serious. Just yesterday I made a spreadsheet of the money we would lose by canceling everything.5. Every once in a while when I pick his dirty underpants up off the floor. But not serious ones. 

bayhunter6

1. Yes, for a year2. When we got serious3. A few months in4. Distributing household chores5. Honestly, no. We broke up for awhile but the whole time I knew I wanted to marry him one day -- we both had some growing up to do, though. We were only 20 when we met.