Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Breaches of Etiquette

Poll:For your wedding, did you (or will you) break any rules of etiquette?  If so, which rules did you break?One of my breaches of etiquette was the way I addressed my invitations.  For example, I put Mr. & Mrs. John & Jane Doe instead of Mr. & Mrs. John Doe.  But I didn't care.
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Re: Breaches of Etiquette

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    Oh ya know. The basics: dollar dance, garter raffle, I'm sure we addressed the envelopes wrong here and there, small ceremony, big reception on the same day, everyone saw me before I walked down the aisle as we all had cocktails together before the ceremony, i had no blue, didn't give out corsages, and didn't have a vegetarian option.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
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    Ditto the envelope thing.I also didn't allow everrrry guest to bring a date which a lot of people thought to be poor etiquette but I did allow my bridal party to bring one and any one who had a serious s/o. I fully admit the reason for this was I wanted to know almost every one at my wedding. Selfish I know.
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    I used "honour of your presence" instead of "pleasure of your company" even though we weren't getting married in a church.  I twisted things in my mind to justify it, but really I know that I was bad.  I still don't care.  My invites were awesome.
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    Fishy....whaaaat?  I thought better of you.  :-)
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    Ivy, I have no idea what you just said.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
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    I invited some kids, not all. I only invited my favorite coworkers. Envelope addressing was wrong.  
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    I am not giving out corsages. And it will be my 2nd wedding when it comes around.
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    yeah, I know. We're pretty laid back peeps.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
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    We only wanted to serve beer and wine for our lunch reception, but the venue refused to pull the liquor off the shelf so we were somewhat forced into a partial cash bar.I addressed the envelopes to John and Jane smith instead of using titles.I'm sure there was more.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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    Oh I got married in a church but if I hadn't I probably would have used 'the honor of your company' instead of 'pleasure' too Ivy. I think it sounds better.
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    I didn't use titles on my envelopes at all, just John & Jane Smith or John Smith & Carol Jones. We didn't quite have enough chairs for everyone, but that was more of a last minute caterer issue than an outright breach on my part. They didn't set up the reception venue like we'd discussed. That's all I can really think of.
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    I don't know about etiquette but we're throwing tradition out the window. No garter, no bouquet toss, B&G photos before the ceremony (my mother is going to flip) and I'm wearing flip flops under my dress. Oh, the horrors!!
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    I have a few so get ready to clutch those pearls- I also addressed the invites with both first names on them & I printed them on the envelope instead of hand writing them-gasp. We aren't inviting anyone under 18 & we aren't doing programs or any sort of candle or sand ceremony just because I don't feel like it.  I don't know if those go against etiquette but it's making people angry for some reason.
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    Fishsticks, if your ceremony is religious, you are supposed to use "_____ requests the honour of your presence at their marriage..."If it is not religious (ie outside like mine) you are supposed to say "requests the pleasure of your company".I don't listen very well and did what I wanted because I felt that my ceremony was spiritual and that was enough for me, and if someone wants to say that the great outdoors are not a place of god they can go fuuck themselves.  how's that for a run on sentence...
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    I made labels for the invitations.  I thought it would be nice for the postal service.
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    We're doing a small ceremony and larger reception (on the same day) and we will be having a cash bar.  And, when it comes time to address envelopes, I won't be using titles.  That's it....I think.
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    I uninvited my half brother (actually I had my dad do it).  He never got the invitation, just our very casual email STD.  I really wish I could uninvite the rest of my family.I doubt the envelopes were addressed perfectly.No one gets flowers but me.  I'm having a bach party where non-wedding invitees are being invited.  
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    We are having a cash bar.  There is a 3.5 hour gap between the ceremony and the reception.  Our wedding is on a Friday, and the ceremony is at 1:30 in the afternoon.  We handed out most of our invites instead of mailing them.  I invited some kids and not all of them.  There's probably more, but this is all I can think of now. 
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    I "univited" 2 people who got STDs. In my defense, they suck.
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    I can only think of 2. One we put 'and guest' on a few envelopes of guests we truly did not know who they were bringing (they were not in a relationship).  In our pocketfold we had an FYI card that amoung other things has suggested attire.  Our wedding was a Saturday night sit-down dinner. Which in our circle means semi-formal/formal.   Our wedding was on a beach and no one had ever been to a beach wedding.  Weddings are always church and country club type affairs.   DH refused to wear a suit/tie or tux.  We thought is would look silly for the male guests to be more dressed up then the groom.  So we just stated 'jacket and ties not required'.    We received a ton of compliments on the card as everyone was confused on what to wear since they had never been to such a wedding before.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    We did the "and Guest" thing too. 
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    Holy crap, I had no idea about that one, Ivy.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
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    I also printed labels. If designing, printing, cutting, and assembling the invitations wasn't enough of my time for the guests and they needed hand written addresses too... then screw 'em.
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    I think I did just about every single thing mentioned in this thread. Minus the cash bar. Our guests were properly liquored.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
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    Oh and the labels. My mom handwrote all of the invitations.
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    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
    image
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    H's parents are divorced. Instead of hosting their own tables we made them sit together as family. They could suck it up for one day to please H.
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    But don't you like my excuse for being bad?  I can do that with almost anything.
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    hardcore E. Post etiquette?  nothing that I can think of off the top of my head.  Going against social norms/traditions?  We are spending the night before together and seeing each other before the wedding, and I'm sure a bunch more.  I'm just blaming it on cultural differences ;-)
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    IMO, printing on envelopes instead of hand-addressing is not a breach of etiquette.
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    - No inner envelope... also addressed it to "and guest" for the ones who were not in a relationship. - I used clear address labels to address said envelopes. - We are having a dollar dance and garter toss (against my wishes). It is really important to FI and both of our extended families. Grandpa looks forward to the dollar dance the most! - We too were forced into the partial cash bar. Same situation as pp (venue would not pull out hard alcohol).
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