Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Breaches of Etiquette

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Re: Breaches of Etiquette

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    I have no idea why the printing labels thing grinds my gears so bad, but it does. Way more then too many stupid dances or the garter thing. It is just so lazy and unnecessary.
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    Ha! I do, Ives. But seriously, how many people do you think know that that's even a rule? I don't think in my invitation I requested the presence of anyone anywhere. I think it just said something like "show up, biitches"
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    We had a dry wedding.  I don't think that's a breach of etiquette, but I'm sure our guests would have preferred a non-dry wedding.  But it was an afternoon reception and we were on a really tight budget, so oh well.
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    You know, I'm not sure how many people know it... no one said anything about it to me, but I'm not sure anyone WOULD say anything negative to the bride unless they were very close to me.I know I didn't call out my cousin when she included her registry info in the invite.  But I sure did point it out to my mom.
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    I liked the polished look of labeled invites. I didn't like my handwriting and was using metallic envelopes (smear like crazy). I didn't hand write my invitations. Why the hell should I hand write the envelopes? I'm anal. I need everything to be matchy matchy :)
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    I invited several people w out a guest.I forgot to put directions to the church and reception in invitation.No garter toss.I invited some kids, but not all.I wore a tiara lol.Oh, about 2 days before the wedding, i had a few people say they couldn't come, so i invited old random friends to fill the seats.  good times.  
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    [i]I think it just said something like "show up, biitches"[/i] I would think that's the cat's meow if I received an invite that said just this and only this followed by the date and time!
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    I'm doing a limited bar, but offering mixed drinks on a cash basis.  It is pretty common where I live. When I thought I found "the dress" I emailed pics to FI.  I ended up buying a totally different dress though, and he hasn't seen it. We are very early into the planning, but I'm sure there will be more! FI's family is pretty classy and traditional, and mine is a little trashy.  In a good way.  LOL.
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    Speaking of which, would hitting FI's mom with a baseball bat count as poor etiquette? She told me the other day that she "had" to invite her 10 sorority sisters/families, since they always invite each other to everything. Yeah, she's one of those ladies.
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    salty, your new pic is gorgeous.georgia, i agree. I don't think it is and I never thought it was to anyone else til I entered the world of P&E.
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    I'm getting married in Hawaii (and only 1 other person is coming aside from FI and I...not because they aren't invited, but because they're being sticks in the mud.  But that's a different thread) and having a marriage blessing/reception when I come home.  And there will be no liquor (but, in my defense, it will be at a church...not allowed...)
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    Ivy, I agree with you on the outdoors being spiritual.I wanted an outdoor ceremony, but you can't have mass outside.  I was like "WTH?  Its God's backyard!"
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    EGGS-ACT-LEIGH, Shelly.  Plus H refused to get married in a church, so I really had to God things up for my wedding.
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    We didn't have assigned seating....and I know it is not etiquette-related but we skipped the traditional parent dances, garter toss and bouquet toss.
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    Did anyone put registry info in their invites?  Don't worry, I did not, but I know a lot people who have.  I think it's pretty tacky, but maybe it is a regional thing?
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    1) I printed directly on the envelopes - the font matched the invitations and it looked SO much better than if I had handwritten them.2) The ceremony was 45 minutes away from the reception. Ceremony was at the church I attend regularly, and reception was at the reestaurant where my husband worked (in our subdivision).I probably messed up addressing some of them unknowingly, but nobody said anything, so I'm not going to sweat it.
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    Will NOT be addressing envelopes "mr and mrs john doe." It would offend my every sensibility. No bouquet or garter toss, no hard liquor at reception (open beer/wine/soda), I kicked a member out of my BP (he told me the friendship was over now that he had a girlfriend to replace me as his "estrogen fix," so it wasn't much of a stretch that he wouldn't want to stand up for me anymore), no FG/RB, both of my parents walking me down the aisle but NOT "giving me away", seeing FI beforehand, the list goes on..
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    No wedding party (but my nephew is my ring HOLDER and deliverer with a Batman action figure, LOL). No garter or bouquet toss. Cake and "punch" reception, although since it's in my parents' hotel suite, I suspect there might be some fun stuff involved - my dad knows how to throw a party! We'll have some other light snacks and may do dinner afterwards. No registry.  Those who asked were told we had most everything we needed, and that gifts weren't necessary, but if they were insisting we could use gift cards to Lowes/Home Depot (or cash) to help towards fixing up our house. I'm doing my own hair and makeup.... does this count as an etiquette breach? :)
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    I'm having an AHR for my DW.  I'm also inviting guests who are invited to the AHR only to the bachelorette/shower weekend thing, mainly because they'd probably be pissed if they didn't get invited, and would see "it's not proper because you're not invited to the ceremony" as a weak excuse.  But that's kind of how we roll.  I'm also not going to address the invitations using titles, even though it's a formal wedding, because adding titles complicates things quite unnecessarily.As far as wedding traditions, our wedding shoots most of them straight to hell.  Getting married in a hotel room, no dancing at all except our first dance, no cake, unity cocktail, spending the night before together, it goes on and on.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    I only have one person in my wedding party, and that's my sister, so my shower is being thrown by my sister and mother.  My mother insists on inviting a few people to the shower who are NOT invited to the wedding.  I fought her on it for a while, but decided that in the end, that's HER etiquette violation, not mine.  Sigh.
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    I'm allowing my mom to invite her group of lady friends without their spouses.  I argued with her over it but eventually gave in.  I may have a partial cash bar as well. 
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    okay I'm glad other people are not addressing envelopes with Mr and Mrs, etc. I already started doing mine and left them off. Takes up too much space and I just don't like using them! Too formal for people we're supposed to be familiar with, ya know?Also...--no plus ones for anyone not dating someone seriously. And one who is with someone I'm not inviting her BF anyway because a)he sucks and b)he's a black hole that sucks the energy from a room and c)he causes tension between her and her sister...the list goes on. She knows this already.--We have a B list. I'm staggering how the invites are sent so the B list gets invites no later than 4 weeks before the wedding. Some local family members aren't getting theirs until 2 weeks before because I know them and 4 or 8 weeks is way too long for them to make these sorts of decisions.--Our invites don't say the word marriage or wedding on it. (PIB).--FMIL is hosting the shower with her sisters, even though the invites say just her sisters. She's really behind it all.--we're using some stuff we got as gifts before the wedding. A friend of mine gave us stuff and told us to go ahead and use it, so we have her express permission. That's good, because we desperately needed a blender. =)
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    we did a cash bar.  otherwise, everything was proper (and i actually still think cash bar is ok, but i digress).
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    For those of you who invited some kids but not all, how did you word your invites and rsvps? Did you just invite immediate family kids (siblings and nieces/nephews of bride & groom) or was there a cut-off age? How did you handle people that were upset or confused that their precious darlings weren't invited?
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    We are doing pictures before the ceromony and no cocktail hour.
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    Here are my thoughts on cash bars: I think they're okay as long as the guests are not expecting an open bar.  Seriously, open bars can kill a budget.  My BIL's open bar was $3300, which was half of what we spent on our whole wedding!  And I'm sure that $3300 was not even that bad compared to some. 
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    We're not doing: garter toss, bouquet toss, champagne toast, any first dances besides our own..I'm sure there's more but I can't think of it at the moment.We're also getting married on a Monday. Oh, the horror! Our rationale is that 1. it's a semi DW so it's unusual from the start, 2. the majority of our guests are freelancers and the idea of "weekday" is irrelevant to them and 3. we're having a small wedding and we ran it by anyone it would effect and they were all down for it.Yup, big ole etiquette train wreck.
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    For my first wedding we included registration information in the invite. Gah. I know better now.
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    We didn't have an inner envelope and none of that crazy tissue square.  The older I get, the more simple I want things to be!  FI wanted to addres John and Jane Doe, fine by me - but apparently not by at least one of our guests.  She called FI to tell him we did the invitations all wrong and she was asking all of her co-workers if it was ok if she brought her children.  Lets see, could that be why we had a specific line for how many adults will attend and how many children would attend?  Why would we ask you how many children you were bringing if they weren't allowed?  Or at least that was how we looked at it!  Wait until she see's the seating cards - no Mr and Mrs on those either!  One for everyone, including the kids. 
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