uh oh...kinda long

headed2yale

So, as far as the bridal showers go I have only asked my MOH if she wanted the shower invites that matched the regular invites. She was wondering who to invite and that her and my family had been talking about it and they weren't sure if my FILs would be throwing me one (if they weren't, my family was going to invite all of the women on my FI's side of the family) so they had my FI ask his mom. She seemed to have forgotton we are getting married. Let me tell you, she is a peach. I never expected her to throw me one or anything but now she will probably feel like she has to, which makes me worry. What if she invites people to the shower that are not invited to the wedding. We are trying to keep the guest list low (only 100 people but we are already at 135) So we decided that if we haven't seen a person in the past 5 years, then they are not invited to the wedding. So what happens if she invites these people? And then what if they say something to me at the shower about the wedding etc. etc. ? Help and sorry this is kinda long.

B2BMM

You need to talk to her about this.  You can't expect people to attend your shower but not be invited to the wedding.  That's rude.

SarahSmile23

i'd wait and see who is actually throwing it and then ask if they would like a copy of the guest list. good luck!

tidetravel

Just have your MOH send out shower invites to all of the women, including FMIL.  If FMIL throws a shower and invites people to the shower that aren't invited to the wedding, that's on her as the host - no you.

nda_roxybabe

Make sure she is actually throwing it first then talk to her about the guest list and your concerns....

headed2yale

I know it is so rude. That is why I am worried. She is angry that we aren't inviting more from her side and she WOULD invite them to try to make me invite them to the wedding and then pretend she had to no idea (even if I gave her a guest list) ugh. ok thanks guys

headed2yale

**had no ideasorry typing too fast

sarah0725

In that case I don't think I would give her the opportunity. Just invite FI's family to the shower you're already having.

shawna77inil

All you can do when it comes to a demanding family is put your foot down.  My future mother in law was trying to invite one of FI's aunts that we see once a year to my shower.  MIL went to the justice of the peace when she got married, so she is ALL ABOUT this wedding thing.  I told her no.  She said OK, I'll go ahead and tell her to just drop by.  Again, I told her no.  I was not going to have anyone inconvenience my MOH by random people driving through that weren't invited.  She got upset about it, but if you don't lay down the law, people are going to walk all over you.  My in laws dangled the promise of a big check at us for a wedding gift and somehow MIL thinks that she can buy her way into doing whatever she wants.  Nope, that is a gift and your choice of what to give AFTER the wedding is your business, doesn't mean a hill of beans to the wedding itself.  In my opinion, regardless of who is paying for what, this is YOUR and YOUR FIANCE's day.  If people don't have your best interest at heart, then you need to step in.