Guestimate for RSVPs

terat

What is your invite list number and how many are you expecting to attend?  Or those who have already gotten RSVPs, how does it match what you expected?Isn't it 75% of those who are invited actually attend?  Is that accurate?  I keep telling FI that not everyone we invite will come and he says 'but what if they do?' and I INSIST that they won't.  People flake, things come up.  I gave him examples of weddings we attend where some of the guests were absent.We plan to invite about 180 but our min. at site covers 135.  Do you think that's a fair guess?

Brie2010

You should plan on 100% attendance.   It's happened before, and if you plan for less you're just asking for a disaster.Really, it's impossible to guesstimate.  There have been 100% attendance brides on here and I've seen some as low as 40%.

nda_roxybabe

You will be in serious trouble if you do that. Invite what you can hold

kbmeow

I am planning 100 attendance myself.  Plan on the worst case.  I am hoping a few will say no so I can invite some family I would really like to see.  

tidetravel

Only invite what your venue can hold, or Murphy's Law ensures you will be screwed. There are people that have 100% attendance - you cannot predict who may or may not come. You will have guests that you thought for sure would be there that can't make it, and you will have others that you never would have thought would make the trip, and they do. Cut the guest list or find a different venue. Your FI is right on this one.

AmoroAgain

Heh.  We've got a guest list of 70, and have about 40% of our rsvps back with only 3 no's.  Plan on everyone.

reddy123

I am with the others- you cannot invite someone to your wedding hoping they will not come. They so will. I have seen 99%, I have seen 50%... It all depends on how close you are to your guests- proximity and emotionally. I went through the same worries and ended up getting a new venue because the cuts were impossible and starting arguments. Now I can take a deep breath and not worry about the 100% RSVP fluke (which I have this feeling is gonna happen to me). Also knowing everyone is going to be safe, comfortable, have room to dance, and not lying to your venue director is a huge bonus. good luck!

RachNRich

[i]he says 'but what if they do?'[/i] ^This makes him right. Plan for the 'what if's.'

terat

Thanks for the advice, I was way off!Our room holds 300, but I was basing the 135 guests as what is covered in our package at site for the $8000 min. charge.I'm not inviting people who I don't want to come, but I have friends who hardly attend my events (I throw lots of parties), so that's what I was going off of.  My step-cousin is getting married on the SAME day as we are though in Nebraska & my wedding is in CA where we live, so they only step-family on that side that say they are coming is a step-aunt & her husband.  Do I still send the others an invite?  My step-grandma & mom say yes.

PreppySailor

Is 135 your venue's minimum or maximum?

terat

we booked the larger of the 2 rooms, which holds 300.  However, the $8000 min. for food/drink w/ the package we want will cover 135 guests.  So once we go over 135, we will pay per person on TOP of the $8000 min, which after tax & 18% tip is $10,360 PLUS another $1K for ceremony.

brookelynpaisley

Your FI is right. Never ever ever invite more guests than your venue can accomodate. That's just asking for trouble. What if more than 135 RSVP yes, are you going to call them and say "never mind, I didn't think you'd come, so now I'm renegging your invitation"? My FMIL swore up and down that none of her or FFIL's siblings would make the trip out here from New York. As it turns out, all but 3 of 10 sets of aunts and uncles are coming. One aunt got a second job to afford the trip - people will find a way if they really want to make it. Add in the fact that my sneaky FMIL called family friends after the invitations arrived and extended the welcome to the guests' children and granchildren, and I'm thanking my lucky stars that I had enough no RSVP's to accomodate 10 unanticipated guests.Though it's not recommended by most people here (including me), you could do a B-list system. Divide your list into 135 must-invites and 45 would-like-to-invites. After you get 45 no's, you can send out your B list invites. But based on timing, people usually figure out they were a B lister and it's a recipe for hurt feelings. I think we'd all recommend that you either cut your guest list or find a new venue.

janedoe1113a

but I have friends who hardly attend my events (I throw lots of parties)Your wedding is a lot different than a random party.

LesPaul

Depends on your guest list.  We invited 100 and 85 showed up.  A couple of declines were offset by a couple of late additions.  Almost exactly the number we expected.  You will have to judge based on how well you know your invitees.  Plan for 100% if you have a serious venue maximum.