A Tiff W/My MOH (vent/NWR)

sarah0725

I didn't get my driver's license until I was almost 20, so I've been the non-driving friend, and I really appreciate all the people who drove me around during that time in my life. I also have two siblings who are non-drivers, a brother who can't because of a seizure disorder and a sister who just never decided to get her license. Driving was never really encouraged by my parents.I agree with PP that you need to talk to your friend and come up with some kind of compromise. Where are you in upstate NY? Is it a place where buses are possible? What about a bike? Most of the non-drivers I know have figured out lots of other ways to get around.

danieliza1127

I guess I just hope she initiates it sometimes.Be sure you tell her that, don't just wait and hope and never say anything. 

lyndausvi

I'm sorry to hear about your accident.  I also get not wanting to drive.  My grandma never drove.  Once I got my license I put into the 'take grandma to whatever' list.  It was fustrating but I did what I had to do.I think you should not be upset at her comments.  She was just being honest.  Now the ball is in your court to let her know that you are willing to go see her and how to make that possible.  It can be your FI taking you or you meeting in the middle via public transportation.  Good luck.  I wish I was that honest with my family.  It pissed me off that I'm expected to fly home 1-2 times a year and they only come to see me once a every 5 years.  Oh yeah, DH's family NEVER comes here.  We are expected to go there. 

duckie1905

Have you tried getting around on your own using other methods of transportation?  Does your town have a bus/train system, taxis, etc? The wreck sounds like a horrible thing to have gone through but I can understand her frustration.  While the meetings always seem to be suggested by you it can be irritating constantly having to pick someone up/drive them around.  Maybe she assumes that if she suggests going out that she'll have to pick you up/drop you off and she doesn't want to feel obligated to do that. It isn't the same situation with you but I had a friend that didn't drive until she was nearly 25.  After a while I stopped asking her to hang out because I was sick of having to drive to her house, pick her up, go where we were going, drop her off, and drive home again.  She never made an attempt to get together any other way (ask someone else for a ride, taxi, etc) and yes, after a while the relationship seemed one-sided.

sweetadventure

I am so sorry about your accident.  I do understand your friend though.  She sounds like she feels unappreciated.  Like a PP mentioned, offering to pay for her gas or buy her dinner shows her that you appreciate that she is going out of her way to spend time with you.  Maybe finding a halfway point would be a good solution for regular hang out time and then make the trek to each others cities once a month. 

jessiegirl_98

Fish gave you some good sources.  Also, you can check on your insurance plan website and talk to your primary care doctor.  Someone who specializes in anxiety (particularly CBT) sounds like it would be the best for you. That is good that you are willing to try counseling.  It can be very helpful in situations like this. I would also just be open with your friend.  "I'm sorry it's a pain that I don't drive, but I'm going to start working on that.  Maybe you can make more of an effort to invite me places and I'll figure out how to work there.  I promise that I will make more of an effort too." Again, just call her. You can say "you wanna hang out?" and then you (or she) can worry about where