I'm curious what is normal for couples

sillynut

Do you ladies go out to bars once in awhile, without your FI or Husband? like for a stagette or even just a ladies night?Do you let FI or Husband go out once in awhile for guys nights? Would it bother you if he stayed out for the whole night once in awhile.would he be bothered if you stayed out and had a blast with your girls once in awhile?Do you feel that going out for the whole night is against what being a couple is about, do you have a need for your partner to be home in bed with you everyday for the rest of your life?

B2BMM

I go out every once in awhile w/o FI, and he does very rarely.  Not really "out"  he'll just go play poker with the guys or something.  Most of the time we go out together, if we do go out.  I don't think he'd care if I stay out the whole night, and occasionly I go visit my friends in other city and am gone the whole weekend.  I wouldn't care either, although, if I had my way, he'd come home before sleeping.  But I wouldn't throw a fit or anything.

Mrs.B6302007

Our couple friends are also our friends who we do girls' night/guys' night with so they always get planned for the same night. 

veronabrit

we dont ever go out until like 4 or 5am. If I go out with just girls I am usually home by 2am. He goes out to the sports bar sometimes with the guys but is never home super late. I don't know about being out all night long...that seems kind of odd to me. What do people do until 6am in the morning? I would be worried something happened.

MissSarah786

Every month Tim has a poker night with the guys and is gone all night, gets back around 2 a.m. He also has at least one golf day a month. When I go out with girlfriends I am usually gone overnight, this happens about once a month. Other times with gf's are usually lunch dates. And I'm glad that Tim has his time with his friends, he needs that, it's important. It's funny though, he always asks my permission to go, I don't understand that one.

tidetravel

Everyone and every relationship needs space. Anytime that your entire life revolves around 1 person, it's not a healthy relationship. If either partner has a problem with the other staying out/over with friends once in a while, they need counseling.

Brie2010

No, but I would.  I don't now just because I don't have friends in the town we're living in.Sure.  I don't "let" him do anything, he's a grown man and can do what he wants.  He doesn't go to bars really, but he goes to hang out with his guy friends or play poker with them. I'd be bothered if he stayed out all night and didn't let me know where he was, but that's just because I'd worry he was hurt.No.  And I wouldn't marry him if he did.No.  As long as we're both clear on our plans ahead of time, I don't care.  In fact, I'd rather he stay out all night if it means crashing at a friend's place instead of driving drunk just to get home.

tidetravel

Didn't finish my thought: there are actually several times where DH or I have encouraged each other to stay at the friend's house, rather than driving home late and being too tired to make it.

MissSarah786

Oh, and I like to go dancing with my girlfriends in San Francisco. Tim doesn't enjoy it so much because most of my girl friends are single, so no guys go. I just go dance with the girls, but I never dance with guys, it's too awkward, like why would I want some guy touching me or shaking his junk near me? Unless it's DH, his junk is okay.

mocha beans

Do you ladies go out to bars once in awhile, without your FI or Husband? like for a stagette or even just a ladies night?  Yes, frequently, for any reason, and there's usually guy friends there too.  There was a time where I was going out with our/his friends more than he was.Do you let FI or Husband go out once in awhile for guys nights? Would it bother you if he stayed out for the whole night once in awhile.  I have no right to *let* my FI do anything, he's a grown man and can do what he wants without having to ask for permission.  He can go out with the guys for a night or a weekend without me if he wants, wouldn't bother me.would he be bothered if you stayed out and had a blast with your girls once in awhile?  Absolutely not, because of the above.  It's a two way street.Do you feel that going out for the whole night is against what being a couple is about, do you have a need for your partner to be home in bed with you everyday for the rest of your life?  Absolutely not.  I love going out without him sometimes, gives us something to talk about later.  Being part of a couple doesn't mean you lose you're own identity and can only do things with him.  I hate couples that are like that.

peachkins

Well, FI doesn't get out much period, so most of these things I don't have to worry about.  I've been out with just my friends before, but unless it's a "girls night out" I will invite FI to go too.  He doesn't go out on his own unless it's family-related, but I doubt I would care about him getting together with his friends or even staying at a friend's place on occasion.  I can't even picture him going anywhere with my friends without me. 

PreppySailor

We do go out on separate guys/girls nights. Last month I went to a bachelorette party and we spent the night in a hotel after the club closed. Fi was fine with it. I sent his a text msg around 1 am to let him know I was safe.

moose2172

DH goes out with his family, friends, or does activities during the week while I am at work/class. I don't just because he gives me crap about it.I let him go out but he has a tough time letting me go out.No I believe couples need their personal time. He needs me to be home at night every night with him but I understand the whole work overnight shifts and stuff like that. I don't think he should be spending the night at one of his friend or family members houses when I am home or vice versa. That is just weird.

redheadfsu

Everyone needs a night out! Sometimes it is as a couple, sometimes not. "Do you let FI"? No I never "let" him do anything he is a grown man. And he doesn't "let" me... We trust each other. But what is a "whole night"? Midnight? Yes.  6am? No

Princess_Gio

We love to go out with each other but sometimes we do go to bars or parties with out each other. It really all depends on whats going on. Sometimes we will both be invited to some where on the same night so we will just go. It doesn't matter what time we get home. Most of the time we will call each other through out the night for updates to where we are. 

Ciaram22

I go out more than DH. I have girls outtings and knottie gtg's that he doesn't like going to. We go out together with some of the people that we work with and have had some good times. Neither of us are gone all night unless we have completely drunk ourselves stupid and can't drive. All the bars around here close at 2am so unless you want to continue the party at someones house it just easier to go home.

brookelynpaisley

Yes, we go out, both together and apart. I have more free time, so I get more solo going out time. But generally it's usually a happy hour once a month or so. I don't go "out" out like we did in college where you take cabs and puke. If he stayed out all night once in a while, that'd be fine. We all need to unwind. As long as he was being safe about it, that's fine. We live almost an hour from his best friends, so if he were out all night it would be so that he wasn't driving. No, I think for the same reasons, I think he'd be fine with me going out and being crazier than normal. No, cheating is going against what being a couple about. I can go out all night and not talk to a single guy. I go out to be with my friends, and if me being out all night means I'm not drinking and driving, that's what should matter.

MeaghanandMichael

I do ladies nights as often as I can which is really only 1-3 a month as my ladies are in Boston. DH spends at least one night a week over his friend's house watching football while I am either working or hanging out with the dogs here at home.We go out together to bars/clubs either just us or with friends at least once a week. We love to get drunk and dirty dance.Neither one of us is ever bothered and we never have been. I think this is because we are really respectful of each other, tell each other plans well in advance and would never plans things without the other one on any kinda of special night.Going out for the whole night it awesome and I love doing it. I cherish my friends and so does H. I have no idea why this has anything to do with being a couple or not. That part of your question is odd.

lyndausvi

Do you ladies go out to bars once in awhile, without your FI or Husband? like for a stagette or even just a ladies night? yep..Do you let FI or Husband go out once in awhile for guys nights? of course.  DH goes golfing (while drinking) once a week with his friends.  Normally does a beach afternoon afterwards also.  Would it bother you if he stayed out for the whole night once in awhile.  all night, like not coming home.  I guess?  He has never done.  He normally hits the wall around 11pm.. If he is lucky maybe after midnight, so it's not an issue (we are older).  Then again our (his) friends none of our friends do that either so it's a non-issuewould he be bothered if you stayed out and had a blast with your girls once in awhile? nopeDo you feel that going out for the whole night is against what being a couple is about, do you have a need for your partner to be home in bed with you everyday for the rest of your life?   Ummm... no.  Even when at home DH will sleep on the couch because that is where the a/c is (we do not have a/c in the bedroom).  I would not have a problem with DH sleeping somewhere else for the night because he was out with friends. But then again we live on an island that is only 14 miles long.  DH's friends live only a 1/4 to 2 miles from us.. So there really is no reason for him to stay anywhere else, so the issue has never come up.  If we lived in NY and the Jets had a home game I would expect him to stay at his friend's home because I know a lot of drinking would be going on and DH should not be driving.

MeaghanandMichael

oooh I get the last question now. I thought you meant "out all night" in the sense until the bars closed, not like straggling home the next morning.Well, like I said, because of the fact our friends live at a distance from us we often stay over at friend's apartments or our parent's homes without the other one of us. I prefer sleeping together every night at some point in the night but I would never make it a rule he had to come home to me in anyway.

Nebb

My husband and I are both very unsocial, BUT when I do have friends in town or things are going on, he has no problem with me going out and giving him a night to himself. He only has one guy friend where we live, and I have no problem with them going out. I have slept without him before, I can do it again without self destructing.

LucyD1029

I go out without DH a few times a month.  He goes out with friends too, but not as often.  It's not a big deal.  Sometimes I'll stay at a friend's house overnight, but DH always comes home. 

TiDa2009

I got to the bar without FI often and it's not just girls - my guys friends and girlfriends' SOs usually come, too.  FI doesn't like going to bars and such, so he never comes along. FI does whatever he wants.  As long as he isn't cheating or killing, I wouln't care if he stayed away a week.  I, of course, would want to know not to expect him and that he was ok, so a phone call would be good. Nope.  When I go out, I stay out all night long and crash at a friend's house because we live so far out of town. I belive that nothing is going against what a couple is being about as long as both parties are comfortable and respectful.  No, I don't need to be in bed with FI everyday for the rest of my life - nights away are good, for both of us.

vgmartinez

We usually go to together. I haven't had a ladies night in a while, just lunch dates. I live about 20 miles away from all of my friends and I don't like driving on the highway at night, too many deer. FI is not much of a drinker so when he goes out with friends, its usually for lunch and they all go see a movie together or they go four-wheeling. Yes, it would bother me if he stayed out the entire night especially if it was because he was drunk. He has a home and a warm bed to come home to. He would feel the same.

blenderdance

I have girls' nights occasionally, though most of the time it is girls' weekends because my closest friends live a few hours away, so then I am gone for a couple days.  DH LOVES it when I go away and he gets the whole house to himself occasionally :-) He goes golfing occasionally with his brother, and I encourage him to go out more often with friends, but he doesn't have a lot of guy friends where we live to go out with, so he doesn't go out very often. I don't think either of us would care if we didn't come home one night, as long as we let the other person know where we were.  I would be panicked if he just didn't come home one night--worried that something awful had happened, but if he stayed with a friend or at a hotel, that's fine.  Same with him--even when I am planning on staying the weekend at a friend, I call/text him when we get home so that he knows we are safe.

vitamint

Do you ladies go out to bars once in awhile, without your FI or Husband? Yes, frequently, for any reason, and there's usually guy friends there too. Do you let FI or Husband go out once in awhile for guys nights? Would it bother you if he stayed out for the whole night once in awhile. I have no right to *let* my FI do anything, he's a grown man and can do what he wants without having to ask for permission. He can go out with the guys for a night or a weekend without me if he wants, wouldn't bother me. I trust him. We also travel extensively for work. would he be bothered if you stayed out and had a blast with your girls once in awhile? no. Do you feel that going out for the whole night is against what being a couple is about, do you have a need for your partner to be home in bed with you everyday for the rest of your life? Absolutely not. In fact, sometimes I am like when is your nex trip`)

lyndausvi

Absolutely not. In fact, sometimes I am like when is your nex trip`) LOLMy parents have been married for 41 years.  My dad travels a lot for work.  My mom asks the same question from time to time.

redheadfsu

Just wanted to add... He goes on guy's weekend trips occasionally & I do the same with my girls. I wouldn't care if he stayed out all night in town, as long as I knew he was safe (he is very good about letting me know what is going on & I do the same for him- We are both worrywarts. )

crfische

Do you ladies go out to bars once in awhile, without your FI or Husband? like for a stagette or even just a ladies night? Ummm...yeah. All the time. Do you let FI or Husband go out once in awhile for guys nights? Would it bother you if he stayed out for the whole night once in awhile. He can if he wants. As long as I know where he is, and if he's safe, I'm cool with that. My husband doesn't really do that, though. HE usually just spends time with one of our brothers. would he be bothered if you stayed out and had a blast with your girls once in awhile? Absolutely not. He urges me to do it. Do you feel that going out for the whole night is against what being a couple is about, do you have a need for your partner to be home in bed with you everyday for the rest of your life?  It's a rare occasion that this would happen. I do girls weekends away and such, but yeah. We don't need to spend EVERY NIGHT for the rest of our lives together.

temerityjane

I don't go out by myself or for ladies' nights or anything, because Buddy is the only person I know here. All of my friends are on the other side of the country.He does go out without me from time to time. A lot of times he opts to just stay home, sometimes we go out with his friends together, and a lot of times I tell him to please, please get the eff out of the house.There has been at least twice he was meant to stay out all night because it was more convenient that way, but he came home both times.I don't know if he'd be bothered if I stayed out with my girls because I don't have any girls.That last question is just dumb, I can't even answer it.

[Deleted User]

Do you ladies go out to bars once in awhile, without your FI or Husband? like for a stagette or even just a ladies night? Sure. I went to a girls dinner tonight. Do you let FI or Husband go out once in awhile for guys nights? Would it bother you if he stayed out for the whole night once in awhile. I don't "let" him, but he does. We both feel that time apart is very healthy. I don't particularly like going out and getting drunk more than once every couple of months, so it works out great that he goes out with the guys once a month or so. He always spends the night because his friends are all in the next town over. would he be bothered if you stayed out and had a blast with your girls once in awhile? Not at all. He encourages me to do so. Do you feel that going out for the whole night is against what being a couple is about, do you have a need for your partner to be home in bed with you everyday for the rest of your life? No. I like for him to have a good time and vice versa. If it means staying out with the dudes, then I'm happy for him to do it. I trust him completely.