Wedding Etiquette Forum

Actual Attendance after the RSVP

I have to submit my final guest count for my reception this week and I am wondering the proper count to provide. We are having heavy hors d'oeuvres and an open bar that we pay per person, so not a sit down dinner. Do you submit the exac amount that RSVP or do you provide a % less? We are actually very fortunate to have an RSVP from pretty much every guest. If we didn't have one last week we started reaching out to them to confirm. I have had other friends tell me that they have had people call right up until the day of to say they are sick or can't make it for some reason. Any help is much appreciated.

Re: Actual Attendance after the RSVP

  • We had 65 rsvp yes, we gave our vendor a headcount of 70 to allow for extras. Actual attendance day of...50 people...I was not a happy camper (the 15 people who didn't show all worked with me 2 days before the wedding and assured me they would be there).
  • Expect everyone to show.
  • You provide the number of RSVPs you receive. If they RSVP'd their intent is to attend.
  • I told the venue and caterer the exact RSVP number.  I ended up with 2 no-shows, and 2 late additions, so it was fine.  I also did heavy H'ds, so didn't have to worry about a plated dinner count.  You should be fine with your exact count, given you have heard from almost everyone.  Even with a plated dinner, the venue should build in a +/- factor into the actual amount of food prepared.
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  • Expect everyone to show, and also expect people to bring uninvited guests. Give the correct number.
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  • I ended up having 6 cancel last minute.. then 1 random showed up the day of... so in the end it I was 5 off the exact number. I really did not care, it's part of the throwing a party..






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • We gave the exact number. No one unexpected showed up. A great-uncle called two days before the wedding to tell us he had to have emergency heart surgery and wouldn't be able to attend. Besides that, no no-shows.
  • Give them the exact number.  If you have anyone on your local board that you're close with, you can always ask them to be a seat-filler in the event that people cancel after you've given your venue the final numbers.  I did that for two people, and it worked out really well.
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  • We gave a head count of 4-less than our RSVP'd amount to the reception hall.  Based on some people's behavior prior to the wedding we had a feeling there would be a few no-shows.Just as we had 4 people cancel right before the wedding and two no-shows:1) Two people called the 6 days before to tell us they decided to go on vacation instead of coming to the wedding.2) Two people called four days before to tell us they decided they didn't want to leave their kids with babysitters.  We ended up eating the price of one meal (I think) because we had at least one place holder fill in.  I would not recommend calling in a head count of less than your RSVP amount unless you know someone is going to bail.  Our reception hall was awesome about fitting in extras if we had unexpected guests (which we did not) so that gave us more confidence in calling in a lower headcount.
  • I would RSVP the actual number that you got back. My caterer told me that she usually makes a little more then the RSVP number just incase you have big eaters. 
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