some clarification, please

sarabellam

Legally I would have to, because I am an intern at a child abuse service agency and therefore am a mandated reported to abuse. Personally though, I do not share the normal view that these people are disgusting and that their only option should be jail. Take that as you wish. Let me get this straight, denialante. You don't think a 46 year-old man, who allegedly takes his 14 year-old daughter and 3 of her friends to the beach for her birthday, then secretly films them changing into their bathing suits, is a disgusting pervert? You don't think he should rot in jail for the rest of his natural-born life? Then what, pray tell, is an appropriate method of dealing with him and his ilk?

goheels05

What happened?  I missed it.

[Deleted User]

Wow.

danieliza1127

goheels - [url]http://talk.theknot.com/boards/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=62443242&forumid=9[/url]

Nebb

Its idiots like that that assist their dirt bag husbands in kidnapping young girls and allowing them to rape them for years in their backyard shanty town. Thats what.

Brie2010

Yikes.I can kind of see the view that criminals and sex offenders can be rehabilitated, but this makes it sound like she wouldn't even report him first.  Ick.

[Deleted User]

That's kind of like say "I'm a police officer, but I really don't feel like burning down houses is all that bad" or something along those lines of crazy.

kate51485

Now I'm just wondering what her employers at the "child abuse service agency" would think of her sympathy toward "these people" -- if she has any compassion for them, I think she may be in the wrong field...

danieliza1127

Yeah I really wish she would clarify since her profile says she hopes to be a social worker in child abuse.  I'm assuming she means they should get counseling and not just thrown in jail, which is obviously true they should get counseling so they don't reoffend, but to just say that on a public message board and walk away is just ridiculous.

BecW2be

I was just about to start a post to Denial and then read this one. WTF???!? I hope that during your internship you realize how fuckedup this POV is while you are dealing with victims of sexual abuse. If not, you are as disgusting as a child abuser.

tidetravel

Perhaps a CHILD ABUSE service agency isn't the proper profession for you.

sarabellam

I think most people are for counseling and trying to rehabilitate, until the victim is someone they know. Then your whole outlook on rehabilitation shifts radically, and you just want karmic justice.

crfische

::Pukes::

BecW2be

::Pukes because she saw fische puke:: I'm a sympathetic puker. True story.

sarabellam

Okay, Fischey, what's your take on this? You work with juvenile offenders, right?

crfische

That being said, I'm a certified juvenile sexual offender treatment specialist, so obviously I'm committed to helping offenders. However, my main objective in doing this sort of work is to try to do everything I can to prevent them from ever, EVER offending again. 

kate51485

Fishy: in your experience, is therapy-only a good route for treatment? Or do people benefit more from a combo of jailtime with therapy during and/or after? 

danieliza1127

I'm not Fische, but I've been extensively trained in working with adult sex offenders and did work with adult sex offenders for a couple of years.  Everything I was taught pretty much said that in most cases, sex offenders cannot be totally rehabilitated.  They don't get cured, they just learn to control their urges, they learn not to act on them, the urges don't go away.  Jail isn't going to make their urges go away either.  Jail is punishment, rehabilitation is rehab, the two shouldn't be confused.

salt78

Denialante is the same girl that thought the woman feeding her kids what amounts to practically garbage (from that Under $1K per month blog) isn't necessarily doing anything wrong. She will make a FINE social worker one day.

vallyhoo

I have not been trained, but I have read studies that point to the recidivism rate of pedophiles, and it is startling.

tidetravel

What I find disturbing is that she would only turn him in out of "legal obligation."  If she wasn't a social worker, it would be ok, then?

sarabellam

I'm all about the punishment, given the rate of recidivism.

pumpkinpumpkin

Is it possible that she worded that incorrectly and possibly meant something along the lines of what Fishy said? Maybe these people need help, not only jail time? I'm not standing up for her, but really...sometimes sex offenders spend their lives rotting in jail, geting no counselling - or refusing it, get out, and re-offend within 24 hours.

danieliza1127

P2 - I definitely think that's what she meant.  She said she didn't think "their only option should be jail" so I think she meant ONLY option, as in another option would be counseling.  She just would have made a better case for it if she would have explained.

Liberty27

I think this sitution is tough because even by turning in this girl's father, you are re-victimizing the girl.  Imagine what she will go through at school, and with her friends.  The girls freinds will be traumatized by the fact that someone took a video of them undressing, but most likely no one will ever see it.  The daughter will be the one who will be humiliated, and her life is going to be torn apart.

vallyhoo

Denialante definitely left her opinion open-ended by saying "Take that as you wish." I would love to hear her response though.

danieliza1127

Liberty - sure, just as much as it would be when she found out her OWN FATHER was watching her and her friends undress.  I think she would be more upset by that fact than the fact that he's going to jail.  I've just seen it too many times where the wife finds out and the husband gets counseling instead of being turned in and instead of getting better he just re-offends again and again.  Then it's years later and instead of protecting her child, the wife has just allowed the offending behavior to continue right under her nose for years.  I've seen it too.many.times.  Seriously.  It's sad and I would never do that to my child who has no one else to protect them.  It's a clear sign that you value your husband more than the safety and innocence of your own defenseless child.

pumpkinpumpkin

Dani - absolutely. She could've clarified, especially with the "take that as you wish" comment. I think Sarabellam is maybe over-reacting just a teeny bit here....some people just suck at saying what they really mean to say.

ivystar57

Denialante is the same girl that thought the woman feeding her kids what amounts to practically garbage (from that Under $1K per month blog) isn't necessarily doing anything wrong. Dear Salt,Apparently while I was gone, come crazies came to town.  Do tell!Also, does this mean that I need to bring the tank back for P&E patrol?  Lub,Ivy

Liberty27

Dani- I agree thw father going to jail will be the least of her problems.  I am talking more of the isolation with in her school and the community and self doubt, and of course the fact he will miss major events like grad and prom. 

kate51485

I think keeping a predator from other young people is more important than prom.