Wedding Etiquette Forum

9/11 wedding: ok or faux pas?

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Re: 9/11 wedding: ok or faux pas?

  • [i]If we change our way of life in response to the actions of terrorists, then the terrorists have achieved their goal.[/i] This times a million. That being said, consider the negative reactions. If it's because the tragedy personally touched the lives of your loved ones, I would consider moving it. If it's because they just think it's a "cursed day" and bad luck, I would stick with the date.
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  • I think it's fine.
  • I think it's fine. There are so many people who lose their lives in natural disasters and other tragedies that if you wished to avoid all those 'bad' dates, you'd end up with nothing left! That said, I am not one of your wedding guests or family members.
  • If neither family or anyone very close to you lost someone on 9/11 I think it is fine.  I think we need to remember the significance of the day, BUT we need to celebrate joyful things too.  What are you going to tell a child born on 9/11 - "you can't ever have a bday party because you were born on 9/11?"  Of course not. Our country lost THOUSANDS more on D-Day - nobody thinks a thing about getting married on that day, nor should they.  While we need to always remember and be VERY respectful of 9/11, we also need to take charge and keep joyful happy events on that day too.  JMHO If you have connection to someone who was lost, I wouldn't do it. 
  • My response in the thread on this a few weeks ago was that I personally wouldn't do it because I have a good friend who lost her father that day, and she's going to be invited to my wedding. It's your anniversary. If that's the date you want to celebrate for the rest of your life, go for it.By the time you reach your 50th anniversary, people probably won't be sensitive to it. Lots of people today, almost 70 years later, would be hard pressed to tell you when Pearl Harbor day even is.
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  • My fiance and I are in the same situation.  We found the place that we loved in the fall but by the time we booked it the only date left was 9/11/10.  We were originally concerned but have since gotten over it.  He is from NYC and didn't have a problem with it so I figured I shouldn't either.  Every time someone asks when I am getting married they all have the same reaction.  I have learned to deal with it.  Noone will refuse to come to the wedding because of the date.  I think people will welcome having something happier to reference that day rather than only the tradjedy.  But on a happier note, no one (including the groom) will ever forget the anniversary.  Go for it, if you love the place then its fine.  I respect if you or someone your close with was personally affected but in general I don't think we can count out any one date because of its history.  Good Luck!
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