Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

Post Wedding Brunch and Leaving for the Honeymoon

My fiance and I want to leave for our honeymoon the day after the wedding.  Due to the flights to where we are going, our only option is a noontime flight.  But...my parents are hosting a brunch for the out of town guests (which is pretty much everyone, since no one wants to drive home after).  Should we postpone leaving until the next day or if were were there for a portion, but not all of the brunch, would the guests understand?  Thanks!
«1

Re: Post Wedding Brunch and Leaving for the Honeymoon

  • Options
    I'd just go for the honeymoon. They'll understand.
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker
    Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
  • Options
    I think the guests will understand.  I was at a wedding in September, where they left by 11 to get to the airport, so they just went to an hour of the breakfast - nobody minded
  • Options
    Personally, I believe the point of the brunch is to spend more time with the bride and groom, in a more relaxed environment. I'd be pretty peeved if they didn't show up to their own brunch. Can you leave later that day or the following day? If not, I would say that your parents don't have a formal post-wedding brunch, but invite some of their OOT family members over, if they want to come, with the understanding that you guys won't be there.
    image
  • Options
    I think guests would definitely understand you leaving for your honeymoon.  That said, don't forget to consider the logistics here.  Leaving that soon means you will need to be all packed for the honeymoon before the wedding because you won't have time to do it on morning you leave.
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    Talk to your parents first.  But, I would go.  To me, my hostessing responsibilities are over when the reception is over and I am one of those that wants to leave pretty shortly after the wedding for the honeymoon.  My family would understand, but I can't make that judgment about your family.
    image
    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • Options
    You don't have to be there for the brunch. I would probably skip the whole thing; you'll have to be at the airport pretty early. Random non-related question: are you getting married on 10/10/10 for the 10!!!11!!!!1!! factor?
  • Options
    Personally, I wouldn't miss the brunch, but I am sure they will understand completely if you are not there. The morning after brunch was a really fun time and it was great to spend even more time with guests we don't get to see very often. That to me was well worth postponing my honeymoon one day.
  • Options
    What's the big deal about leaving for your hmoon the day after anyways? I personally would wait a day and take the extra time to pack and relax.
  • Options
    I guess I'm the only one :) Maybe my opinion is different because we hosted our own brunch. Or when people have to leave earlier, they just didn't have brunch. Just make sure your guests are happy, regardless of what you do!
    image
  • Options
    My ILs hosted a day-after brunch for their side of the family and their friends. We didn't attend at all since we had already left for our honeymoon. We actually requested they limit it to their friends and family since we felt that it would be an "imposition" on our friends and my family, who lived in the area. I guess I'm old-fashioned, but I really think of a wedding as a ONE-day event, not a multiple-day event (unless there are a lot of people from out of town and then I can see that it makes sense to get together more than once).
  • Options
    Thanks!  My mom was pretty peeved at first. but she seems to have come around.  I agree with you laurenclaire.  I feel that if I have been gracious hostess at the wedding and at the rehearsal dinner, we should be able to leave for our honeymoon the next day without issue.
  • Options
    It's really up to you...My MIL friend hosted a day after brunch for us, and we couldn't be there because our flight left early also.  No one was mad that we weren't there.
  • Options
    I would go to the brunch and leave the following day, it will be a lot more relaxed than trying to get everything ready before the wedding!
  • Options
    We put off our honeymoon until the next day and left on Monday. Our families are very spread out geographically, and we don't have an opportunity to get everyone together in the same place very often. We also had friends who had traveled from all across the country to be at our wedding with us. It was important to us to spend as much time with them while they were in town for our wedding, and it was definitely worth putting the honeymoon off a day to do so.
  • Options
    I would just leave... This is why I prefer pre-parties to after wedding brunches (that and the fact that ppl are hungover and don't want to get up! :)) but I've been to brunches where the bride & groom are already on their way and it was fine.
  • Options
    If you are having a lot of guests and don't think you will be able to adequately greet them at your wedding then I think you should go to the brunch.  Especially for OOT guests it's rude for you to swing by the table, say hi, and then peace.  I've had it done to me and I was super pissed.  But if you are able to be there for even an hour that should be good. 
    image
    My Bio Updated 4/6/10
  • Options
    Thank you everyone for your help.  We were definitely planning on being there for an hour before we left.  We were not planning on just skipping out entirely.  Plus, between the rehearsal and the wedding, I think we will adequately be able to greet everyone.
  • Options
    Oh, if you're going to be there for part of it, then I think you're fine! If people want to hang out and chat, you shouldn't be expected to be there the whole time. It really only take 30 minutes to eat :)
    image
  • Options
    Honestly, after the wedding is over.. it's over. Your hosting duties are done. If your mom is hosting the brunch, then she is the host, not you. If you have plans to leave the next day, then that is your plan... You shouldn't have to postpone your honeymoon because your mom decided to tack on one more event. If you already agreed to this, then you are stuck, but if not, then not.
    image
  • Options
    my cousin's parents hosted a brunch, and the two fo them were not there.  they were dropped at the airport that morning (6am).  no one missed them.  hahaha or, just tell your parents tehy dont have to do the brunch.
  • Options
    I think it's fine--as long as it's not advertised as "spend more time with the B&G!"
  • Options
    I'd stay for the brunch. It's just one more day. Your guests will truly appreciate your time with them. Plus, it would be nice to breathe that day and not feel so rushed with packing, etc...
  • Options
    This must be a regional thing.  In my area, the bride and groom leave the wedding reception and begin their honeymoon immediately.  There are no brunches the next day, no driving guests to the airport, no cleaning of the reception venue, etc.
  • Options
    I think guests will understand. Why not make kind of a production of it? Have everythign ready to go so you can attend as much of the brunch as possible... Announce your departure, drive away in a decorated car... make the guests feel like they came to send you off? That kind of blows over the fact that you're leaving your own brunch early :) Its like reverse psychology.
    Trust your heart, love knows the way. Pregnancy Ticker
  • Options
    brunch is always served late too, like 10 or 11.  i know as an OOT guest, the few times i've actually stayed over in a hotel, i've wanted to get out of dodge as early as possible the next morning to get on teh road and get home.  i dont like hanging around once teh wedding is over. 
  • Options
    My MIL and FIL hosted a brunch/morning-on-the-town after ours, but we made it clear from the start that we were not getting up early the day after our wedding to drive 1 1/2 hours to their house to tour the historic district.  They were upset at first, but we told them that we would join them later after the tour and everything was fine.  As long as you communicate what you are doing and people aren't just waiting around for you, you should do what will work best for you.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    Honestly, these after-wedding brunch things are overrated. I've been to a few, and knew good and well that the bride and groom just wanted to leave for their honeymoon. I definitely would not be offended if the bride and groom weren't there; I'd want them to be off enjoying their honeymoon than spending time trying to have conversations with everyone. If your parents really make a fuss over it, I really like the idea of making a big production over it when you are leaving like one person mentioned. Everyone will understand. They are getting a free brunch out of it; I don't think they'll care.
  • Options
    I think people would understand. But personally, I would leave the day after (that's what we're doing) just because I'll need a day between the wedding and traveling to relax and/or pack. But as far as your guests, I'm sure they won't mind :)
  • Options
    Boston, Here is how I see it... What makes you and your husband happy? If it's leaving the day after the wedding on a 12 noon flight, then by all means, leave then. All your guests should want for you is to be happy, this is YOUR time, not theres. Instead of your parents hosting a brunch, why not a BBQ a few months after the wedding, then you can share your honeymoon with them as well?!? Just a thought! Don't let this part be the most stressful part of the planning, I don't think it's worth it. Your parents should understand as well.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards