POLL: ball and chain, dragging him to the alter jokes

lizziemoopsc

Ball and chain jokes, and bride dragging the groom to the alter cake toppers: funny, insulting, stupid, don't care, or fill in your own answer.

MeaghanandMichael

I just think they are stupid. You are getting married and your day should be about that instead of how you got there. I think it is self deprecating on the brides part and I feel bad for her when I see one.

stina93446

Really stupid. I hate when men make jokes/complaints about married life. If it's so bad, get a divorce!

megk8oz

I hate these things.FI was in a wedding last summer where the groom (Who had secretly JOP'd the year before) as a "joke" had his GMs "drag" him down the aisle while his father yelled "You're going to make an honest woman outta her whether you like it or not!"...Nobody was amused.

banana468

At the wedding?  Awful.At some pre-wedding not so formal event?  Fair.I get that this can be the sense of humor for some - but for me, it would imply that DH and I weren't taking our vows that seriously.And after a really freakin' long emotional conversation last night, I can't imagine I can't imagine thinking that this whole marriage thing was just for a fun party.  

MeaghanandMichael

megk - that is just disgusting. wow.

megk8oz

Granted, my story was not cake-topper related, but in general I just don't see what's so funny about any of that kinda stuff.I mean, we all joke here with the badges and stuff, but I think it's totally horrible to make those kind of jokes AT the wedding.

IrishBrideND

Stupid. Why would you want to be charactorized as having to drag your FI to the alter?

sarah0725

Stupid and misogynistic. Any relationship where somebody has to be dragged to the altar is probably not healthy. I like to think that FI wants to marry me just as much as I want to marry him... at least he complains enough about having nobody in Wisconsin to feed him and how much he misses me feeding him.

MeaghanandMichael

I even get annoyed when I see guys wearing those 'game over' tee shirts. I actually saw a bunch while I was on my honeymoon if you can believe it and their new wives were with them. I just lose respect for both people when I see that which is odd because I usually like this kind of humor. I guess I just find it too immature to be funny.

megk8oz

Banana, I think in this case, the groom really WASN'T taking it seriously, because to him, he was already married.But my big thing (I actually had spent most of the morning with the groom and GMS ... I even tried to talk them OUT of doing this when I found out) was they kept the JOP a secret to the bride's family (Why, I still don't know). So to THEM, this was their daughter/sister/niece/cousin/friend's actual WEDDING day, so such a thing was really just a klassy spectacle.FI told me later he hated the idea (And actually, he barely "participated", he sorta hung back and followed the guys in, which made me proud, haha) and that literally until the GMs started getting the groom down the aisle, he was STILL trying to say "Guys, her family will be PISSED".

lizziemoopsc

At a halloween party Fi and I went to last night, one of his friends made him a ball and chain to attach to his leg. Hilarious, right? I dislike that regardless of how much of a joke it is, it still implies that I'm a controlling biitch. Thanks, friends.

Puppylove*85

I find them stupid and rude.

banana468

On a similar line, I was in Spencer Gifts last weekend and I could not believe the t-shirts they were selling!It is totally inappropriate to put a child old enough to speak in a shirt that says, "Cute Little F'er" (with the word spelled out).  I saw it on a baby onezie too.Ditto for the maternity T-shirt that said, "Maybe now he'll marry me."

MeaghanandMichael

I dislike that regardless of how much of a joke it is, it still implies that I'm a controlling biitch. Thanks, friends. yeah seriously. ask him how he would like it if they made him wear a sign saying "whipped puussy"

megk8oz

Another thing is, it's one thing to make the jokes when it's just the 2 of you or something (Although, in my house it tends to be FI saying "You're the one that said 'yes', it's all YOUR fault from now on", lol), but to actually make the jokes in front of people you don't know really well ... or just other people in general, just seems in really poor taste to me.

banana468

Megk, I can't imagine being a part of that.  Please tell me that this isn't the couple with the bsc wife who wants to babysit FI.  If I remember correctly that was an issue you two were having wasn't it?Keeping the JOP wedding a secret is in itself a horrible thing to do but who thinks that it's OK to do that?  The GM are presumably all adults and should have some sense of social intelligence...and what about the groom's parents?  If DH's father did anything like that you can be that MIL would have PLENTY to say about that being inappropriate. 

brookelynpaisley

Stupid. Not that I take them seriously, but why would a bride want to insinuate to her guests that her groom would try to run away?

opalsky007

Stupid. I got really frustrated with this while shopping for a cake topper. Every effing cake topper out there these days is out to be funny and self-deprecating, and most of them are just flat out offensive.

Bippy

I can't imagine why a bride would want to degrade herself in such a way.

tmm140

I think they are stupid--maybe for like the shower or rehearsal dinner, but DEFINATELY not the wedding.

BlueBalloon

I'll be honest and say it really doesn't bother me.The way I see it is a wedding and a marriage are two separate things. A wedding is nothing more than an elaborate party and if people want to be lighthearted with it, go ahead. That doesn't mean they don't take their vows/marriage seriously.

MeaghanandMichael

A wedding is nothing more than an elaborate party and if people want to be lighthearted with it, go ahead.Actually, to me and many other ladies on this board, a wedding is about saying your vows in a ceremony that reflects your feelings on marriage. Yes, a party follows. But that is not that the day was 'about' to either me or my husband.

lyndausvi

Honestly I do not care.  It's not something I would have had on my own cake, but I would not care if it was on someone I know's cake.  I'm sure i would find humor in it if it did apply to the couple on some level.

BlueBalloon

What I mean is a "wedding" I consider from after the ceremony onward. I consider the ceremony "Getting Married" and completely separate from the "wedding" part. It's the serious part. Maybe that's just used in my family but that's the way it's always been for me? I was  taught the "wedding" part consisted of the dancing,cake,food, speeches, etc etc

[Deleted User]

I think they are stupid and I also judge people who use them. I think they are a bit low class.

banana468

To a certain degree I'll buy that the ceremony is sacred and the party is a celebration.However it's the celebration of something sacred.   

BlueBalloon

I agree Banana. I felt the people who did that *** dance into their church were not taking the marriage/ wedding seriously either.I still don't get why having fun at their ceremony bothered so many people? I never knew that unless people had a stuffy, super serious (better not cough) ceremony it meant that they don't care about their marriage. People must gasp then when they find out me and my fiance plan on adding a few fun jokes to our vows. I'm sorry but I do believe both people with super serious weddings and fun weddings have gotten divorced, so lighten up people!

IrishBrideND

eh I don't judge people who dance into the ceremony, I just find it cheesy as hell. Its so not  my personality. But if it fits them, whatever. As long as they don't make their WP do it, too.

banana468

Meh.  I think there's a huge difference between being super serious and making insult jokes about the other person. 

saschaduran

I am all for fun, lighthearted weddings and I have a great sense of humor. But that stuff is not funny at all. It is completely degreding to the woman. Why in the world would I ever want people to think I had to force my husband to marry me or that I in some way hold him back from life. It really disgusts me and my pride and ego would never allow for someone to think of me as deperate and forcing someone to be with me. Even if it is a joke.