So what is the OTHER reason people get prenups?

kkchisholm

In the previous prenup quote, several people said that a chance of divorce isn't the only reason people get prenups.Well.. I find that to be .. crap.If couples aren't getting a prenup because of the chance of divorce, then why are they getting them? Intrigue me.

IrishBrideND

I posted below.In case of death (we have a will as well, but prenups can in some cases be more iron clad) and also, as another poster mentioned, in case of mental incapacitation.

IrishBrideND

and you can believe it to be crap all you want

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In case of the death of a spouse, so the family of the deceased can't fight (as easily) over the remaining assets. Especially important if your fiance's family hates you.Perhaps stuff pertaining to future children, as well.

kkchisholm

Can you explain death more? should the wife get the money rather than the kids?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I also think the chance of divorce is a perfectly valid reason to get them, and it's mature and realistic to think about that chance before getting married, given everything that can happen. It's not romantic, but it's necessary to think about it and talk about it.

kkchisholm

thanks mercy that explains it a bit more.

IrishBrideND

Can you explain death more? should the wife get the money rather than the kids?for example: I own some property that really belongs to my family but it is in my name. If I die before I have kids that are of age to own property, it will go back to my family instead of to my husband. Its a family property that my family wants to remain in that side of the family.

kkchisholm

I also think the chance of divorce is a perfectly valid reason to get them, and it's mature and realistic to think about that chance before getting marriedI completely agree. I think this is the reason people get them, they just say there are other reasons to feel better about their decision.

thesuninherhead

I'm confused about why a new will wouldn't cover the same issues?

kkchisholm

I'm confused about why a new will wouldn't cover the same issues?yep!

IrishBrideND

I completely agree. I think this is the reason people get them, they just say there are other reasons to feel better about their decision.uh ok.  I think its VERY important to plan for divorce, so I have no problem admitting that. But there are other reasons, even if you think its "crap."To the other question, I don't know why its stronger than a will. I just know I come from a family of financial planners and family law and they all say that. I *think* it might have something to do with the fact that different states have different laws, but I'm not sure.

IrishBrideND

I can admit I'm not an expert, but I am intrigued on how your field of social work has made you such an expert that you seem to know for a fact its "crap"?

baby green bird

Also if you come to the marriage older, and have property and or other significant things aquired before the marriage, and you also have children prior to the marriage, it is very wise to have all bases covered, so that in case of your death or incapacitation, all that you have earned and saved goes to wherever you have chosent it to go. I acutally makes things a lot easier for your loved ones that you leave behind, as there is no guessing about what your intentions are. It minimizes conflict as well.

thesuninherhead

But bgb, how would that be any different to having an updated will which specifies the same things?

SarahPLiz

My mom and step-dad just did a will, and their lawyer seemed to think that was enough, but it probably depends on the state probate laws. Also, they keep their assets separate and don't have any community assets to speak of, except for their house, and they each paid half. Mom's assets go to us and Step-dad's assets go to his 3 kids. We all have copies of the will, and it covers the incapacitation of the spouse. I, too, tend to think that a prenup is intended for use in case of divorce and that a will is intended to provide for the case of death or incapacitation of a spouse,a s well as any end-of-life care instructions, should they choose to include that. I still get a negative feeling when someone says prenup, but that is just my gut, which is not necessarily how it is for everyone. We aren't doing one because neither one of us has an inheritance or material assets to worry about. Both of our names are on the mortgage and deed to our condo, so we are already separately and jointly liable for that.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Oh! Real life example: My mom technically owns her house, but her husband helps pay the mortgage. If she dies before he does, they have a pre-nup stipulation that he gets to live in the house until his death, at which time it will go to me and my brother (he has no children).I've heard lots of stories of wills being overturned. I've heard of pre-nups being overturned, but I'm not sure about the rate of that.

kkchisholm

I'm not an expert, and it's just my opinion. no need to get angry. I literally asked what the other reasons are. they seem.. ok. but in my opinion, it's really about preparing for a possible divorce, which is fine.

IrishBrideND

I'm not angry at all.

katiewhompus

This is just me thinking so there may be no logic behind it but...How many people immediately drew up wills after being married that said "such and such family property will remain in my family?". If nothing else I guess it's insurance that if someone forgets/doesn't get around/doesn't think about the property/assets, they will remain in the family.It's kind of like what dh's family does with their house in Maine. It will go from his sister to her daughter, and from him to our children. Spouses do not inherit the property even though it is very much still ours as long as we want it to be.

Moneypenny424

I am also interested in how a will that expresses these things isn't preferable.  Definitely not disagreeing with you, I've just never heard of it.  You are completely right to make plans for these situations though.

aimerzkd214

Actually wills do have loopholes. For example: My mom's dad died when she was 6. Grandma remarried when mom was 15. My mom has 3 sisters. Her stepdad had 3 kids of his own with his first wife. Years later when I was 6 my grandma died and my mom's stepdad remarried his first wife. Noth families remained close. When I was 18 grandpa died (mom's stepdad). In his will he left money to my mom and her sisters along with his first wife and their children. There us some loohole that allowed his wife to take the money that was left to mom anmd sisters for herself and kids.

thesuninherhead

As far as I am aware, both wills and prenups can be contested in court quite easily (not necessarily altered as a result, though), so I'm just curious as to why one would feel a prenup offers more protection than a will in cases of death.

Moneypenny424

How many people immediately drew up wills after being married that said "such and such family property will remain in my family?". If nothing else I guess it's insurance that if someone forgets/doesn't get around/doesn't think about the property/assets, they will remain in the family.If it was important enough for me to get a prenup strictly for that reason, I'd immediately draw up a will too.

IrishBrideND

I think it all depends on the state.

thesuninherhead

Ditto Moneypenny. If I had assets that I felt required protection through pre-nup, I'd certainly be getting a new will drawn up as well (or vice-versa).

IrishBrideND

oh we have a will too :DThere is something else tax wise that having a prenup is good for. We just talked about it in my Fed Tax class but I can't remember what it was....

cbvcru67

I was under the impression that a prenup stands as a division of assets before the union - meaning it clearly states who owned what - if it was yours, it will remain yours.  A will would be created after the fact, meaning that as a couple your property has already been legally joined and you may not have any more legal right to what was yours than what he does now.  I think the logic moves along those lines.So like in the case of property above, if they were married and the property became hers, it would also become his.fast forward 25 years later and they divorce - both he and ND Bride want the property - her for family value and him just to spite her.  A pre-nup would prevent that.Or ND is incapacitated, husband wants to sell land for some reason -he can't bc the land goes back to the original family, which protects the spirit of the gift.    I know alot of well-to-do families who ask their children to get them to protect a parent's gift to an adult child moreso than the bride protecting herself from the groom or vice versa.  Make sense?

SarahPLiz

I think it depends a lot on the probate laws in your state. We plan on doing a will right after the wedding, just to make sure all of our wishes are in writing. My friend, E, was married and they had just had a baby when her DH got diagnosed with cancer. They fought it for 5 years, during which he refused to make a will because he saw it as giving into the disease and admitting that he was going to die. He passed away in Dec 2007, and she had a heck of a time getting all of their assets changed to her daughter's name (that's another discussion). Another friend of ours is a lawyer, so he gave her a big discount on getting all of the paperwork filed, but it would have been a lot easier had they done a will before he got sick. I am a big proponate of having a good, updated will.

cbvcru67

Also, I've read of people getting pre-nups if their spouse is a small business owner.  Wasn't there a woman on here who's FI owned a restaurant and wanted a prenup - not to protect him, but to protect her from debts accrued  possibly through the failing restaurant?  I could be wrong, but I thought I read this once

baby green bird

Sure a will offers enough protection, IMO, but some peeps just want that added security. Especially those with larger estates. And yes wills can be contested, but it really isn't all that easy. ... and who is mad?.....