Family Crap - Seriously?

[Deleted User]

I feel your pain dear. I've never heard the "I'm proud of you words". I even followed in his footsteps with my career choice and throughout my various promotions, not so much as a "good job". He has also never hugged me. We will not be doing dances at all at the wedding because I don't feel comfortable dancing with him. It would just feel really fake.

carrieoz_76

I'm really really sorry they're making you feel that way.  It's really hurtful when ppl you care about a lot and go out of your way for are selfish, thoughtless, and uncaring back.  Especially when they're family. I honestly think most ppl don't mean to be hurtful, though.  They just get caught up in their life and the daily ins and outs and stop thinking about the effect their actions (or inactions) have on others.  I do this sometimes, too. Have you thought about sitting down with them - your mom or dad at least - and just telling them in a honest but kind way how you're feeling?  If you do, don't expect them to change, and don't tell them they have to change.  Just tell them how you're feeling, and what you'd like them to do - and be specific (Dad, it would really mean a lot to me if you'd build an arch; mom, it would really mean a lot if you'd go shopping for X or help me pick out Y).  Then it's up to them whether to change or not.  I like to give ppl a shot at making up for hurtful things before I give up on them.And finally, this is where FI's are really handy.  They are literally committing to be on our team.  It may be just a team of two, but it's a team nonetheless.  You really aren't alone, even if your family can make you feel that way.Best of luck.

squirrly

This is getting freaky.  I even followed in his footsteps with my career choiceSame thing.  We even worked for the same company for awhile.  (It sucked.  I left first.  He was jealous & had to wait 3 more years to retire.)

[Deleted User]

Do you think we did it as some kind of attempt to make them notice us? I always thought I wanted to be in HR (and I still love it), but I wonder if on some level, I desire it because I just want him to be proud.

squirrly

I think it's because that's what they chose, so it must be a good thing, and being good at it would make them proud.  That, or it's what we know cause they came home and talked/biitched about it.