Bridesmaid Problem...how do I handle this?

LauraW313

Tide-my sister and I are barely on speaking terms- see my post on sister drama...help. I think you wrote in on that one with some great advice. Perhaps my judgement is skewed, but i did offer another suggestion on having the dress altered.

jamm2019

This is not that big of a deal.  If she cant fit into the dress then she will either get one that does fit, or not be in the wedding.  If she gets pregnant they do make maturnity bridesmaid dresses.  This should be the least of your worries.  It's not that big of a deal to have un even sides.

AlexiaANDRobert

Maybe the weight gain is because she already is pregnant, if that's the case, I hope she delivers a beautiful healthy baby ON YOUR WEDDING DAY!

MeaghanandMichael

Well, screw coffee. This thread has been a nice good morning slap in the face.

betrothed123

I hope she delivers a beautiful healthy baby ON YOUR WEDDING DAY!...In the middle of the dance floor during your first dance.

Pink7781

Is your sister your maid of honor? What color are your dresses? Couldn't your sister just get a different dress in either the same color or a coordinating color if the dress doesn't fit a month or two before the wedding?But really, please don't stress about this now. There isn't anything you can do about it and you will drive yourself crazy if you keep worrying about it.

BecW2be

You can word it however you like. Worrying about your sister's weight and, even worse, her conception as it relates to your wedding makes you a nasty, insensitive, incredible douchebag. I second the wish that her weight gain means she's already pregnant and she stops 1/2 way down the aisle on your perfectly dress-coordinated day to shoot out a baby.

pinkpinot

This question is coming from a person who is considering having a cash bar because alcohol is a huge expense for 250 guests.  Ha.

georgia_bride09

She already has the dress...but, I CAN'T be down 1 bridesmaid because of this. Why would you be down one BM? This is why there are establishments that specifically do alterations.  If I were your sister, I'd tell you to fuuck off. She has five months to either lose the weight or get pregnant; she can take care of making sure her dress fits for your pretty princess day.

Nebb

Im 100% positive she didnt set out to gain weight, that it wasnt her intention. No one wants that. Have a little sympathy towards whatever she might be going through to cause her weight gain and ask if theres anything you can do for her. STOP being SELFISH.

tidetravel

Laura - as I recall, your situation was a little different than contemplating kicking your sister out of your wedding because she might be getting pregnant.  Losing a relationship over a dress is stupid, unless one is willing to give up that relationship all together. 

SwedishChick2011

Well, obviously you need to tell her to stop eating and spend at least 3 hours in the gym every day.  You should explain to her in no uncertain terms that she is not to get pregnant until after your wedding.  Where are her priorities?!  (just in case you missed it - sarcasm font)

ffmaid

I have due to issues gotten a BM dress altered in 12 hours before. She does not need to deal with this now. If she gets it altered now there is a very high likelyhood of having to atler it a second time in 5 months. Stop pestering her about it. It is her responsibility and she will take care of it.

mwhitson14

Do y'all ever just sit back and go, Whoa. There is a real person actually typing this. There are people who actually believe it's ok to do shiit like this!(Assuming it's not MUD.)

[Deleted User]

whoa, hold up. i'm seeing another problem here.  if the sister can't afford a 2nd $150 dress, wtf is she doing trying to get pregnant anyway?

tidetravel

Yes, Whit.  Yes there are.  I know someone like this IRL.  She kicked my friend (her sister and MOH) out of the wedding because she got pregnant, and her "dress won't match."  Yeah...  that went over well.

betrothed123

Daff,I thought that too, but I figured saying it would just add ammunition to OPs arguments.

salt78

[i]I CAN'T be down 1 bridesmaid because of this.[/i] You're right. You can't. The world would completely fall off it's axis if this happened.

kate51485

Ooh VERY good point Jill!

vicmo5

whoa, hold up. i'm seeing another problem here. if the sister can't afford a 2nd $150 dress, wtf is she doing trying to get pregnant anyway? I know right.  That makes no sense whatsoever.  Seems OP and her sister are both thinkers.

jma1983

daffodil-there are a lot of "behind the scene" issues w/ this...I guess I posted this w/ as few details as possible. But, that money thing is an issue that both her husband and my mom has been talking w/ her about. And, in regards to alterations...I'm not asking her to get alterations now. Not at all. She just knows that she can't fit in the dress, so I had just suggested she try it on to know where she's at. That's all.

[Deleted User]

Daff,I thought that too, but I figured saying it would just add ammunition to OPs arguments.true, but it was glaring enough that it had to be mentioned.  babies are a LOT more expensive than a piddly $150.

pinkpinot

In all seriousness, I am curious how much weight someone can gain in 2 months. 

betrothed123

You're all telling me that details don't matter in your weddings?Not nearly as much as the relationships with my friends and family.And this:her husband is the one that suggested they waited until later to get pregnant, so I wasn't the one to suggest that. Does not jive with this:I think I have her talked into holding off til at least the 1st of the year to try getting pregnant.

Pink7781

It's super easy to start freaking out about things that aren't within your control because obviously you want your wedding day to go the way you visualize it in your head. Just try to keep in mind that some things are just out of your control and there is nothing you can do about them. If it's important to your sister to be in your wedding she will figure out the dress scenario when it gets closer. GL!

Stackeye210

...but I think I'll search it out for maybe some helpful advice insted of everyone else here (except you) calling me every name in the book. Sorry, I don't call people names.  I actually offered advice that was helpful.

[Deleted User]

"thinkers" that's right. i snorted.

tidetravel

Jma - I'm glad you're starting to calm down.  Yes, we all have/had visions of how we want our wedding.  But, you need to understand (coming from many people that have already been through it) that those visions RARELY turn into 100% reality.  It's silly to hold onto those ideas when people's feelings and personal relationships are involved.  You're all telling me that details don't matter in your weddings?In the end, NO, the details don't really matter.  What colors the BMs wear, what style of dress they have on, what favors you have, won't even be noticed.  What DOES matter is that you get to spend your WEDDING day surrounded and supported by the people that love you.  Don't EVER lose sight of this.  And, keep in mind that things will go wrong, something, or many somethings won't go as planned.  As long as you focus on the things that are truly important, those things that go wrong won't ruin your day. 

csumler

I think I have her talked into holding off til at least the 1st of the year to try to get pregnant.SERIOUSLY??  I would have backed out of your wedding a long time ago.  Why is this any of your business?  You should be happy that your sister is trying to conceive!

LauraW313

Tide-true. Like i said, my judgement might be a little skewed. I think I need some chocolate.