Etiquette

Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???

So I want my bridesmaids to get their hair and makeup done, but my fiancé and I are paying for our entire wedding, so we really cant afford to pay for that too. Most companies want you to have a minimum amount of people for their services so I kind of need to know in advance.

So what should I do? Do i just suck it up and pay, should I offer to pay for half and let them know ahead of time, or give that to them as their gift? I just think its an expensive gift, but not one you would necessarily want. Or maybe do I just ask them and see what they say? I know they are all kind of having a tuff time financially right now so it seems like a ridiculous expense.

Please help!!!

«1

Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???

  • If you want them to have their hair and makeup done, then you pay for it. If it's optional and you don't really care whether they have it done or not, then they can pay for it. And you're right about it being an expensive gift that no one wants. It's not a gift if it's a requirement of yours.
    image
    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • IMO If you are requiring hair/makeup to be done by a pro it then you should pay for it.

    I didn't require it but told my girls what the prices were and asked them to let me know in advance what they wanted done so I could book it. Only 2 of the 5 girls did their hair/makeup on their own.
  • 1. Do not use paying for their makeup and hair as their gift. You want them to have their hair and makeup done so they look a certain way in your wedding; that is NOT a gift.

    2. If you are insisting that they get their hair and makeup done, then IMO you should pay for it. I didn't pay for my BMs hair and makeup because I told them that if the didnt want to pay to get it done, then they could do it themselves. Usually BMs are old enough to do their own hair and makeup.

    3. tuff isnt a word. Tough.
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  • If you are requiring them to get it done then you must pay and its not consider a gift. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:e407e6a6-c254-4994-9cf2-ef8a9d517e69">Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I want my bridesmaids to get their hair and makeup done,<strong> but my fiancé and I are paying for our entire wedding, so we really cant afford to pay for that too. </strong>

    <em>This does not make you special.  These days, most people pay for their own weddings.  Don't think this enables you to demand people pay for stuff THEY can't either.</em>

    Most companies want you to have a minimum amount of people for their services so I kind of need to know in advance. So what should I do? Do i just suck it up and pay, should I offer to pay for half and let them know ahead of time, or give that to them as their gift? I just think its an expensive gift, but not one you would necessarily want. Or maybe do I just ask them and see what they say? I know they are all kind of having a tuff time financially right now so it seems like a ridiculous expense. Please help!!!
    Posted by ashleyl911[/QUOTE]
  • I'm definitely not requiring it, I can't see how you can make someone do anything. I would just prefer it because you can usually tell in pictures when someone has had their makeup done professionally.

  • edited May 2010
    I agree if you are saying "you must get hair and makeup" you should really pay for it. I also think that's a lot of cash to shell out.

    When I booked my hair and makeup for the day of I asked my BM's if anyone wanted either or and then gave them the price sheet so they could make sure if they did want it that they could afford it.

    Everyone ended up wanting their hair done which is fine but only a few wanted makeup. I'm actually surprised anyone wanted makeup- I would probably go for the hair but makeup seems a little nuts.

    Why are you requiring makeup be professionaly done? I don't think it is going to make a big difference in the pictures if they do their own.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:08849ad1-9569-42cf-aedb-e28dc05496ce">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm definitely not requiring it, I can't see how you can make someone do anything. I would just prefer it because you can usually tell in pictures when someone has had their makeup done professionally.
    Posted by ashleyl911[/QUOTE]

    You're absolutely splitting hairs here.  Prefer is not that different from "require", especially in this situation. 
  • If you can't afford to pay for it, then you can't afford to be picky about it.  If you want it that badly, come up with the money for it. 
  • If you prefer it or ask them to have it done, you pay.

    You can always say "I'm booking my hair and makeup at such and such a time. If anyone's interested in having yours done, let me know and I'll book 3 more appts.  The cost is $$$$ for hair and $$$ for makeup but it's up to you."
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • So, please tell me which of these brides had their hair and makeup done?









  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:0605b76d-6b9d-4e5c-825e-c2c2a7bea369">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]1. Do not use paying for their makeup and hair as their gift. You want them to have their hair and makeup done so they look a certain way in your wedding; that is NOT a gift. 2. If you are insisting that they get their hair and makeup done, then IMO you should pay for it. I didn't pay for my BMs hair and makeup because I told them that if the didnt want to pay to get it done, then they could do it themselves. Usually BMs are old enough to do their own hair and makeup. 3. tuff isnt a word. Tough.
    Posted by jessjo04[/QUOTE]
    sorry i didnt know this was going to be graded. thanks for your help.
  • If you don't have the money to pay for a service you're requiring for your bridesmaids, you're going to need to learn to compromise. Pay for their hair and let them do their own makeup, for example. Or, you could see if there is an aesthetics college anywhere closeby - they will often offer services for a really low price and will still do a great job.

    If you're really set on them having hair AND makeup done, I think you're pretty much obligated to pay. Sorry.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:b3ce04d5-fff7-4ec1-92c0-210797dcd3b4">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup??? : sorry i didnt know this was going to be graded. thanks for your help.
    Posted by ashleyl911[/QUOTE]

    Right, because school is the only place where it is important to write coherently and correctly. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:37bf3b71-bda3-45e0-ad35-a525fd0dc866">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, please tell me which of these brides had their hair and makeup done?
    Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]


    :horseshack voice:  Oooo! Ooooo!  I know!
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • Really? Who here has hair and makeup done then?
    www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=45837385&id=10107562">

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  • Ooops,  Amoro beat me to it

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  • Wow, I didn't know this was such a sensitive situation. I thought I was asking a pretty standard question.

    Thanks to all the girls who actually gave me a legitimate answer instead of trying to prove some sort of point.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:af5c74d4-5320-4e46-9683-04817dd49f5d">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, I didn't know this was such a sensitive situation. I thought I was asking a pretty standard question. Thanks to all the girls who actually gave me a legitimate answer instead of trying to prove some sort of point.
    Posted by ashleyl911[/QUOTE]
    Well, they did prove a point. And that point is is that you can't tell the difference in who had their makeup done and who didn't and that you really don't need to worry about it. If you know your BM's money situation is "tuff" then why would you want to make it even harder on them by making them pay to have an unnecessary service done? Because you paid for your own wedding?
    image
    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:b3ce04d5-fff7-4ec1-92c0-210797dcd3b4">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup??? : sorry i didnt know this was going to be graded. thanks for your help.
    Posted by ashleyl911[/QUOTE]

    Youre welcome. I'm only here to help.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:af5c74d4-5320-4e46-9683-04817dd49f5d">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, I didn't know this was such a sensitive situation. I thought I was asking a pretty standard question. Thanks to all the girls who actually gave me a legitimate answer instead of trying to prove some sort of point.
    Posted by ashleyl911[/QUOTE]

    We're proving a point by showing you that you *can't* tell who has had things done professionally.  BTW, I didn't have my makeup done professionally.  I did it on my own.  I just think you're being ridiculous.
  • Well, you're implying that you want your girls to look up to standards for your pictures, yet you don't sound willing to pay to have their hair and makeup done. And if you are willing to pay, you want it to be a gift, which it's not since it's not for them - it's for you. It isn't a sensitive issue - it's zilla behavior.
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  • I think posting the pictures was very helpful.  Would you rather find out that you are being unreasonable from a bunch of internet strangers you will likely never meet, or have your closest friends calling you a Bridezilla behind your back?
  • "But guys, I'm friends are too ugly and incompetent to be in my wedding without professional help to make themselves look good enough to be in my pictures!!"
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  • Than you should have asked for prettier bridesmaids Jessjo!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:441afe56-c17f-4907-9e57-cd6a2c9894aa">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you want them to have their hair and makeup done, then you pay for it. If it's optional and you don't really care whether they have it done or not, then they can pay for it. And you're right about it being an expensive gift that no one wants. It's not a gift if it's a requirement of yours.
    Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
    This.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:c319a43b-4caf-43e5-b06d-906f5b016db8">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Than you should have asked for prettier bridesmaids Jessjo!
    Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

    Well, I did pick them based on their looks, of course. Pretty, but not prettier than me. Then they got ugly! I should have kicked them out.
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  • This is bizarre. All I was asking is what do most girls do in this situation.  I have no idea how I came off as some sort of bridezilla, I was merely trying to ask what is the most polite way of going about this. I have been a bridesmaid where  1 of the other girls did not get their makeup done professionally and that 1 bridesmaids hair was falling apart and her makeup was smearing before the reception even started, so obviously the bride was not happy. The bridesmaid was bratty because she admitted that she put no effort in it and the bride became furious. They ended up fighting over a situation that was completely shallow and ridiculous and are no longer friends. They both were being petty and looked what happened. The bridesmaid was being ridiculous because she assumed the bride was going to pay for the service, and the bride handle it wrong by going crazy on the bridesmaid.  So a situation that is not a big deal turned out being major drama.

    I know that my bridesmaids can do their makeup and I think they are all beautiful. They are defiantly nothing like the girls mentioned above. All I was asking was what is the standard practice when it comes to hair and makeup, because I have heard just about every situation. Sheesh.

  • Amoro- Can I just say you're makup looked fabulous! Did you do your own hair too?

    Ashley-I think the pictures really were a great way to show you that the pictures will look the same either way.

    In my exeperience with this board the advice is honest- blunt and these girls don't sugar coat things.

    It's better you get these answers/ responses here instead of from ppl in your BP.

    GL!


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:940dae68-1282-44f5-b9cb-6ec4ccb98077">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Amoro- Can I just say you're makup looked fabulous! Did you do your own hair too?
    Posted by AliandDan2010[/QUOTE]
    Oh god no, I didn't do my own hair.  It was hard enough for the pro to get my fine, straight-as-a-stick hair to do anything! That was a definitely splurge for me. 

    Thanks for the compliment!

    I can't remember if Mandy did her own makeup or not.  I just chose that picture cause she looks so cute. :D
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